His & Hearse with Jon Kinnally & Chris Young

Daniel and Laura welcome Jon Kinnally and Chris Young to drink about Blondie’s narrow escape on Houston Street, The Green Witch Guide, Daniel’s coffin etiquette, The Hollywood Forever Cemetery, Paul Rudd reads, the comedic brilliance of Christina Applegate, Wake Up Ron Burgundy, the Craigslist Killer, John Wayne’s intestines, NADS, AYDS, Maskiss Gold eye masks, Mae West, Ted Bundy b.o.,pharaohs, Will&Grace&Madonna, The Lost Weekend, Cher, The mysterious beauty of Ray Wise, Twin Peaks and Jon Kinnally’s tour deforce scene in the Mary Kay Place directed episode of The Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman on Amazon.

Jon Kinnally
Insta:
@jonkinnally

Chris Young
Insta:
@2greenwitches
Linktree:
2 Green Witches

WWTWH YouTube Channel

Laura Kightlinger
Twitter: @KingKightlinger
Insta: @laurakightlingerlives
Web: laurakightlinger.com

Daniel Webb
Twitter: @thedanielwebb
Insta: @the_danielwebb
Web: thedanielwebb.com

Transcript

0:08

Yahoo! Welcome to what we thought would happen. We? Daniel, we are so fortunate. I mean, just in general. But today we have Jon Kinnally, the amazing writer, actor who's written on everything, been in Everything and books. Important to me was played the serial killer in the minor accomplishments of Jackie Woodman, which you can get on Amazon. Mm hmm. And also, we have with us another, very talented writer and performer. He's a clowning person, actually. Does it clowning sound like a euphemism of it? I fucking hate it. Oh, okay. Oh, I fucking. Anyway, Chris Young is with us, too, and we're going to talk about. He wrote this email. Yeah. He wrote this really beautiful book with Susan Ottavino. Yeah. From book club. And it's the book is called The Green, which is Guide to Magical Plants and Flowers. And we're going to have Chris read from it a bit. A little. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, we're. Back and we're also going to. Get my bag or move. Around. And I feel just lucky that Daniel is here. Daniel's been on the road and we missed the last one together, but. So everything is going to be just. What a fucking great. Yeah. My bag removal. Yeah. There. There are 24 carat gold masks that we had under our eyes. Will take some pictures of those, and then I'm sure we'll get it sponsored. Can we? Yeah. They feel really good. About getting sponsored by Nads. Yeah. Okay, so Nads was it was ninety's to me or like turn of the century infomercial like late night and it was this mom she's Australian and she made it very funny because the accent and she it was called nads which I mean the unfortunate testicles right Yeah is that it's a nickname for her daughter Natalie and now stress as you call it names. Oh oh my God. Eat it. Like it was. Funny. She named her daughter after a testicle hair removal. But that was the thing. I was, like, so hot. In the boardroom. Was that ever like, a 14 year old teenager was like, We probably should name it that. Yeah, because I. Right. I can't. Do it. Oh, I know, I know. It was. Yeah. Aphids. Aphids. I think I discontinued it when because of that reason. Because of that. And my mom had a stash of it and I would eat it. I eat it all the time. Yeah, it was like an appetite suppressant. Did it work? No, it was. I wasn't speed, was it? Well, probably. Really. I used to take Dexedrine all the time. Do you remember that? Ed Balls in high school? I bought them all the time. Pink footballs. Yeah. Yeah. And pink carrots I had. Yeah. Black Beauty and, oh. Black. Do like truckers. Like, I would drive from Austin to Dallas and I would get, like, truckers love it or that shit. Oh, vibrant. Yeah, Those. Things. Yeah. I still isn't that crystal meth. Yeah, they can't call it that. They have to call it crystal meth. It's such a crystal meth. Oh, that would be fucking great. They in the one thing I was always about, like, that would fit in for tweet, right? Yeah, that's like a sponsor. Yeah. The new the new dating app. Oh, man. Like narc. I mean, I missed cocaine. Chyna. They were all. Just for the. I mean, just for the camaraderie of it, not the boring conversations. Yeah. No, you're fucking hilarious. Oh, for God's sakes. I have won. One of the last times I ever did cocaine. With that. I was at a bachelor party full, sober. It was so boring. And this one dude, he, like, elbowed me. It's like, I bet you know where to get cocaine. Technically, he was right, but it wasn't because it was a habit of mine. I just knew people. Mm hmm. So anyway, we went and scored, and we came back, and I was like, I'm just going to do one line, and that's it All this time. Know me. And we got back to the sober bachelor party, and they were all debating how good of a President Reagan was. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, my mouth. Oh. Oh, my. God. Famous Coke ads. Yeah. No, I would think so. I remember. I remember that. Yeah, Calling. You for a girl and Amber waves and. I love you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah. Julianne Moore, I love you. She's so good. She's amazing. I need to stop because every time I hear something like Amber Waves, I'm like, this terrible song. Like, don't bring it. Oh, that's okay. We have to get her on the We have to get her on the podcast. Tori Amos, Is she that busy? We're not getting more. Than I. Fucking go now. I don't know what anybody does anymore. I don't know. She's probably at the auditorium or at the. The What is it called? No. It's better we're playing together. All right. I was saving this for a surprise, but Tori Amos and I are going to be headlining at the VFW in Burbank. Yes, I'll drink to the occasion. You're more. It's been five months, and no one has complimented anybody's eyes. Oh. Oh, my God. Our eyes are sparkling and so clear underneath. Well, I will say that Jon's right bag is going all Well, I will say that Jon's right bag is going all Well, I will say that Jon's right bag is going all Well, I will say that Jon's right bag is going all the way back. It's bigger. Mm hmm. Yeah. But mine are still black underneath. I thought it was like, because, you know, if you have really dark circles under your. Eyes. Now, I think it's to reduce. Oh, maybe that's it. Oh, I know. Oh, here it is. The older I get, my more of my Mariah Carey. Small lie is getting smaller. Oh, shit. I mean. What she has, she got. I have that two. Really small eyes. So you have to turn your face this way and headshots so you don't clot. Yeah. One testicles larger one boob is larger, right? Well, not mine. They're perfect. Yeah. All right, here we go. Wow. Oh. It's never mattered last. Here we go. Oh, wait. One of them is square. I didn't know why. I just picked out. Make sure I'm wearing. A Calvin Klein bra. You have the gold eyes strips under. To lift them. Okay. Come here. Oh, thank you. Oh, shit. I know if I end any. Name, there's going to be across my chest. It should be a gay guy's name. That's. That's so great. That's great. Are you sure? Do you? Okay, so you're into oils like Sasha. You use Rose. Or else. Oil. I mean, I was using com through most of my thirties and forties. I just rose oil sounds cheaper. You both have all of you guys have great skin though I still have adult and. A little bit. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. I used to do sperm facials. You know, I just go in theater, supposedly. Isn't that called waking up gay? No, It's so awful. Jesus Christ. Got me that. Dress because he. He's really good friends with Jane Fonda. And they both have the same like. You know, they both have a J. But that. Was it. I thought I read it in his autobiography, like in a bookstore, bookstores flipping through. It was like I right. There's no way that I don't think it's a biography. You know him? No, it would be I the only reason I know he's still alive. Because if it's not Jane Fonda dropping his name, it's like Lucie Arnaz, who has the most boring Instagram I've ever seen. Yeah, Yeah, it was. It was an award show where out of nowhere, Jane Fonda goes and Happy birthday, Tommy. Ha ha. And she looks great. But, you know, she's old by now. She pronounces the new in tune. I feel this from like that less. But old people get carried. Oh. Your dentures. Well, I. feel like I have a theory about that. About stars and their kids. Like the stars a lot of times have nothing to begin with in the way of personalities. And then their kids have even less. So they're just kind of like empty vessels. That they have to bother with. The person I. Know. Yeah, it's true. It's true energy to have a for the doors of open door. But did you ever. See it's the it's Dick Cavett's interview with Mae West. I love her. I love her. And I love Dick Cavett, too. I'm like, She's. Wait a second. What the hell is going on here? Somebody had. That. She's like, the whole time, and it's like she's chewing on a lost and right and. Oh, it's her. Oh, she's grinding them around. But didn't she have, like, a kind of signature, like, kind of a little kind of a gravelly voice? No. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe that was it. Draw was like so trying to keep her gums together. Daniel, That could have been, like, threw out. I mean, maybe she always had them. I love her, too, because she has, like. Let's punch down on the dead. In a way. Yes. Which is like, bone this way. Yeah, that did that. We got a wig on. Where is that? But it's. Like. John Malkovich and Dangerous Liaisons with the wig on way. I'm sorry. I don't know. Yes. Though. Wig on. But that's my favorite because the second wig is, like, pulled in a ponytail. Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Live in Sunset Tower. Oh, I'm at the. Which used to be the Aga. Yeah. Which is now. And she lives there. Are you serious? Yeah. I stayed in her room, shot her. I used her the day. Oh, my God. What it is. Can you let John your husband finish a fucking sentence? Go on, John. I never finished one, so I don't know how I had another stupid fact. You know. John Wayne. I don't care what they said. There were two penthouse apartments and he lived in one, and he kept a cow on the balcony. Oh, no. Milk like that. Oh, that's. Awful. The cow may with. That. Is really awful. How could he do that? Why wasn't PETA alerted? He this? That's awful. You have had a. Oh, what a gross pig. I mean, he and by the way, and he ironically or non ironically died with so much meat in his you know, in his. Yeah. I mean, his baptism was such a he. Had like he had like £50 of shit in his esophagus from all the media. You don't. Really. Digest red meat. Yeah. Yeah. Ages. Yeah. I think. had to be doing this wrong. I think he got cancer. Right. And that cancer in it came from the atomic bomb. Yes, yes, yes. Oh. Yes. In about Nevada. Yes. Yeah. Because he made some stupid movie. I can't remember the name of it with. With Agnes Moorehead. With who also. Died of a weird cancer. Oh no. Died of cancer because of the wind while they were shooting. Not everyone, but while they were shooting, the winds were blowing all that studio dust onto the set. That was. Oppenheimer. Yeah. Not at. All. During Oppenheimer. That's the story I was telling. And I just. Want to see somebody. To. Watch it with a bunch of fucking like millennial who are younger than me and so I was like, I know who Agnes Moorehead is and all these fucking Fagots don't know. Nobody knows. Like, really. Monster. It was like fucking Morticia Addams. Nobody knows. Eve Arden, who I love. And Priest. Um. Mm. Yes. Oh, my gosh. That's the link. An athletic supporter. She's in Greece one. Yes. Yeah, She was like. If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter. She wasn't the carryover. I Didi Kong. I was in the. Oh. Vice president or vice principal? No, Deacon was Frenchy. Frenchy? Oh, yeah. Hmm. I just love my fucking fagot. I knew this was an early time when it was like, gay. It was watching Grease. I'd seen it a million times, but it wasn't till I had seen it in my teen years. I was like, Oh, is that Alice goes, Oh, I don't like my Designing Women credentials. Then I'm, uh. Yeah. I remember her from Bewitched to Bewitched. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Which was the greatest show. Mm hmm. I yeah, I rewatched a few. It had been a. We watched the pilot recently. We did. Oh, wow. Black and white. No, it was in color. We didn't understand because the first one, which started in black and white, that was in color. I don't know if it had been colorized and. Oh. It to do it on or maybe. But they spent money on the pilot. So what? Oh yeah. They, I the one I watched was a later season. I mean I got into it when they had it, like it was like manufactured and really slick, but it was an episode where they drink an old wine and it makes you invisible. Oh. All the plates are floating. And it's like all the. I love that. The candy and make it look like it's invisible. And so I lived for that. Yeah. Very clunky. Another weird fact, the guy who played Larry Tate. Mm hmm. Is buried in the Hollywood Forever cemetery. And in one of those, his ashes are there behind a piece of glass next to skulls. It has a little. Oh. Knowing that we need to go see her at home forever. She's got it. But they have. He's killing. Her right. Now. And Johnny. Ramone wa. Oh, that's right. But what was. But Larry were Larry Tate and Stella Stevens were they an item? Not that I know. Oh. Happened to be next to each other in the movie. Maybe now in urn. Oh, okay. Now that they're dead, they're mourning. And, uh, it's like product placement. There's, urn placement. Round the corner. Casanova. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I grew up. Uh, like his body went on, like, tour, right? Didn't they, like. Yeah. Yeah, they put him on, like, a train. I kind of want to do that now because I don't want to do anything, and I'll just be, like, seen. I've almost died, you know? So why not do it now? People just like you've died on stage? Oh, for. Sure. You're right, John. Why not just make. Yeah. And talk about, you know, your dad? Yeah. Yeah. His and hers. Yes. That's fantastic. That's just. It's like. I like it. Let's do it. But we're going to put some fucking gold things under your eyes. Okay. Okay. I tell you what, it was one of the. I don't tell you what I tell you, you Texan, my great great. He was an old man. He had he had fucking sawed off his fingers building his house in 1942, so. Wow. His eyes were so you could see the red. Right. So he had no teeth and so. But when he fucking died, they put him in the casket and whatever ghoul mortician had, like, stapled his. Own. Teeth in. And I guess to give his mouth full. So when we saw him are like, Who is this? Oh, it was good humor. Oh. She was made up like a drag queen. Yeah. Mhm. And her and I still can't like I feel so PTSD from it. Yeah. Oh really. That's not my. Mom. Uh, of where I was like she would fuck if she was a little. Sure she would struggle. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, one of the weirdest things I saw was they, did the viewing, and then there's the fucking burial where the old. They wanted to see her again. So they opened it up at the gravesite. Right. Jeez, I. Thought it was the craziest thing I ever heard because I was like, Surely she's jostled. You know what I mean? Yeah, he's gone from peacefully wrestling or something. Right, Right. But she had her hand. Yeah, she had her hand down her dress. Down her own dress. I'm still embarrassed. But. With the with the horrible makeup and shit they put on you to make you look alive or whatever, Uh, I'm like, You look amazing. Oh. Look, this is. I want. It's lighting this truly beautiful. Right? Well, the ring. Yes. I used to do this bit about because I went to my grandmother's funeral. Ah, white trash family put, like, little trinkets in the casket, and I used to make a joke like that. We were pharaohs. I was looking in, and there was, like, a little mirror in her casket. So I was like, looking at my, you know, a Budweiser mirror. No, now. But it but it was trashy like that. And I was like, Oh, my God, this is sad. I don't know. No. They just it just stands. She's going to do some trading. See, people still do it where you pose next to the body. Oh, God. Yeah, I've seen that. It was a whole school. I mean, I've been noticing people on Instagram and, like, social media is posting pictures of there. And then, you know, they're making that announcement that you make when your pet dies. And there is a picture of the dead pet, not like a, you know, a live picture about like a dead. Oh, no. That's a I've been seeing that a. Lot. That's how I feel about the wax museum. Oh, no, no, Go ahead, please. I was going to say there is a in New Orleans and maybe it's environs. they have bodies that they pose at a funeral, like smoking and sitting in a chair. Oh, wow. Different things, which I kind of love. I mean, you can get buried in your Cadillac or whatever. And I want. To hold a martini for. Sure. I wish you could have an open casket, but I have, like, one of the legs rigged on the casket to give out in the middle of the ceremony. So I fall. And then I wanted to test is who picks me up. I What do you mean? You're standing? No, like I'm laying in a casket. One of the legs. Of the casket fall out. I thought you meant your casque. I mean, your leg. Okay. You know who your who likes you. Knew exactly who was going to come. And you to where. There's. It's just like videos of people falling out of casket. Oh, no. Like a casket falls out of the back of a hearse. It's hilarious. Oh, I guess it has. To have. Happened. It has? Yeah. I love Hollywood forever. Like, just there's, like, a place to. Drink when I do whatever. I don't have any money or anything. So I went to cemeteries because I love that shit. I mean, sit there on a bench or whatever Hollywood forever is. Oh, it is. And we sell gardens just. Sitting there forever. That's why Charlie Manson outside. I love. I love Shirley Manson. I saw garbage over for the Smashing Pumpkins in 1991. Yeah, that's. A great show. Just this fucking glitter red like pixie running back the back of the band. Uh. Blondie a couple of years ago. And we're driving through Beverly Hills, which we don't usually do, and we saw her going into a nail salon. We yelled out the window, We love you, Shirley. And she flipped around. She goes. Thanks, fellas are so great and amazing. Yeah. But I was going to say, speaking of Blondie, I think that you should read the foreword. And Chris is. Is it is it a long for. It is a long. No, it's not, actually. I mean. Let's read it. Y'all read the for it. Yeah. Put it out there cause Chris. Chris and John are good friends with Blondie. Coachella. This last year. She again she. She ruled on Rio. She ruled their with Nile Rodgers is not now. And their version of rapture she's just. She's incredible and. My favorite thing is at the end she does is like and my wife's her nose because it's fucking cold and she's like up there. And I was like, after she just killed the set. But. And also there's a rap group that kind of that says that they were influenced by her because of rapture. A lot of I can't remember who they are now, but Somebody are like. Credited a lot for being on the first. Yeah. Put rap. In like, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what could be a better review of this book? Chris is. Deborah Harris's foreword to. My book. Okay. Okay. Now imagine that I'm beautiful. Deborah Harry I was invited to visit Chris Young's home while I was in L.A. having known him for years when he was a younger Blondie fan and having some downtime between shows. I said yes to this invitation. L.A., like many cities with a history, has a lot of hidden curiosities, a wealth of places tucked away in the hills or at the dead end of a street that appears to trail off to the Pacific. When I arrived at Chris's place, he showed me around his charming house and then said, Let's go outside to the garden. This is where I learned something about him that I never knew. Chris has a passion for creating habitats of beauty with all the sweet, spicy, earthy smells that come along with the flowers, trees, past and ponds. I could even smell the sunshine. That's my favorite. Smell. Were you both on acid? Yeah. Immediately I was transported to another dimension. What an incredible surprise it was finding out another side to Chris's personality. His split. Personality. Later, Chris and his friend Susan Tatiana put together the Green Witch's Guide to magical plants and flowers. And I can think of more than a few friends who would love to have this book, which is also full of info, recipes, illustrations, and lots of stories, history and lore. As for myself, I think this book is a keeper and I will have it on my shelf within easy reach for the next time. I want to cast a love spell on the object of my affection. I love surprises and this collection. That's a really good one. Wow, that's wonderful. She's a good writer, too. That's beautiful. Well-written. Yeah, she's awesome. You know, she had a story, and you probably told me this, Chris or John, that that she thinks she was picked up by Ted Bundy. Right on house down. And this was early seventies. Yeah. Recently I. Was in my cruise. Yeah. No he she was going to like a New Year's Eve party and she was wearing platform shoes and she could barely walk. And then so she took them off and there was all this broken glass on Halston because back in the day. Mm hmm. And this guy offered to give her a ride, and she's like, nine. And he kept coming around. And finally she was like, Yeah, why not? And she thought she would just bring him to the party. And then she got inside and noticed the car was stripped out. No door. Ooh, smell really bad. And she just squeezed her arm out through the top of the window and opened the door and threw herself out onto how she was. So was it locked on the inside like so there was no way to get. Out for her? Yeah. Was this door. Obviously, he hadn't been crossed. He had been kind. She said that when he was caught, she saw him on the news and recognized him and she said, like the hairs on her neck, just, Oh, I am so fucking scary. You know? So we were talking about cruising after I like scruff and grinder and yeah, remember when Craigslist was the early version of all of that, right? Was called Casual Encounters. Rest in Peace. Great. Right. So you go post an email basically thing like looking for and then maybe a picture of your dick. Maybe it was really crude times. But this one guy I was this is an author, someone who posted several just face photos of them smiling, fully clothed. Holding meals in their home. Yeah, the guy. With a wagon wheel. Wouldn't like. Oh. She's right. Like all this, like, exposure. But on it, they had the biggest, dumbest smile. Oof! Just like. Like a real estate license photo or something like that. And I remember laughing my ass up and was like, Who puts these photos on to get that? You know? I mean, it's just so like. And then, you. Know, I just laughed at it. Flash forward like a few months and they're like, There was a murder and no forced entry. A man's like, skull was bashed in and they showed his photo and it was that dude. You've. Shown his. Driver's license photo. And I was like, Who smiles like that for their driver's license and all of that. I remember the. Ooh. I was like, This has to be a Craigslist killer, right? Like a no forced entry, gay man. Oh, my. Gosh. But I was afraid to incriminate myself. Yeah, really hammered. And I called 911 at, like, 2 a.m.. Mm hmm. I saw this because I never have. I don't want to use my name because I don't like this because I'm. An upstanding Christian. Yeah, Yeah. But anyway, they didn't, like, take it seriously at all. And I kind of, like, saw the white kids. You had seen him somewhere else? I saw his photo. Oh, just on Craigslist. Oh, I'm sorry. Murder house. In Texas. I was like, Oh, my God, that poor fagot. But I was also like, Don't don't ever smile that big. And your driver's license photo got anything happens to you on the news? That's what they use. I don't think they want you to smile either, because I feel like when I last got my picture taken, they were like, Stop smiling and like, you're smiling. And it's also cliche. I think that, you know, serial killers are nuts and they have a big smile on their faces. Right. Ted Bundy was how he was. He was. Okay. Is that inappropriate? Yeah, he was. He was smoking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently he was thinking he had it, so I can't reconcile that. Yeah. Like pit stinky or like, urine. I think there's, like, dirty, stinky. Where did you meet? Wait, why does that lead to Debra? Harry? And speaking of French, speaking of French people, you know, I dated this guy. But how. Did that interaction. Happen? We met in the early nineties I met her through my friends who have a band called Betty. Um, and then I was working on the Jon Stewart show and I booked her for the very first episode and we hung out in the green room all day. The Jon Stewart show. Like the talk show? Yeah. Are you kidding? I care. Jon and I met 100 years ago Chris Taylor. The same agent for one. Yeah, we. Yeah, I was with William Morris and James Dixon. Does that give you a chill? He go, Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look, he called me up and give me tickets to the Dodgers. And I'd say, How about just booking me on something? I don't give a fuck about baseball. I know that. You know. Like. Yeah. Or I mean, not the Dodgers. The Mets. What? What was in New York? But I don't even know. But Yeah. But remember, catch, remember? Okay, I've talked about this. I dated John briefly he, I had his show and then his agents and I said, I said we went out or something and it and his agent. Yeah. Or the, or was the manager was like oh this isn't, this isn't good for John. I don't talk about that. It's not good for John's image. Yeah. That he went out with a slut like me or something. I don't know what, what I don't know what did they want to think? The producers were very upset that she mentioned rules. What to do. I think they wanted this image of John is like this single. Oh, yeah. Well, we weren't going out at the time. Yeah, it was weird, but I remember. I think that's funny. I thought you told me that. They said. This is the. Average. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you have to note that John can't have had a relationship like that. Yeah. With another comic Who? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was funny. That was like, I remember my friends at the time were huge into the Jon Stewart show. He is a sweetheart, you know what he was when he was doing his sign off The Daily Show? Yeah. He mentioned my name about, like all the comics he started with him. And that meant so much to my uncle, who watched the show every day. And he goes, you know, he mentioned you. And I was like, Oh, that's sweet. He's the only celebrity that I can think of right now that I followed once because, you know, he's cute as hell and he's a good guy. That wasn't my father. Yeah, no. You got a decent man. I was. He's his. His wife is a vet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. Sanctuary. Yeah. I'm crazy about his wife. I'm going to say it. I love Jon Stewart's wife. They're upset. At. Her. I think she was working at the Gap. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, oh, because I remember. Oh, because I just remember him saying that because I. gave him one of his first cats in New York, an orange cat who he named Stanley. And I know. And he said, he said, You'll be glad to know my wife. My wife is a veterinarian. And. Oh, I don't know. I don't know how I remember that. But anyway. Yeah, he's a good I mean, he seems like he's awesome. I've never loved a job more than when I was working for him. Yeah, he's great. Because The Daily Show is what he's known for. No more. I think people totally forget that. He had a great show. He started on MTV. Yeah. He booked all the people, not all the talent, but I did. And he has a show. His show now. Oh, right. Hated. And we were up against CONAN O'Brien and we didn't have a network supporting us. So CONAN kind of won that. Yeah. MM. They were similar vibe. Similar vibe, Yeah. Just young and kind of unknown, right? Yeah. Where did you follow it? Oh, I was in New York, and I'm just talking about it. You mean you followed him on the street? He was the Craigslist killer. How should I knew this would come around? No, no, I just saw him on the street, and I kind of hated myself for it, but I thought, you know, he's hot. I want to follow a little bit. So I followed him to village. And. You mean you stocked it? Yeah. This stock is overrated. Okay. Right. Right. But he went to a gym. I lost him when he went into the gym. Oh, yeah, in the village. So I lost him for several blocks. Right. John, you're so. You're so cute. I thought you meant. Oh, just walk down the street behind him. He's cute as fucking. Hell. As my man. Oh, my God. Well, you know, I was on the. I was on the. She was not in. The movie that I was cut out of one of the movies that was kind of was Anchorman and yeah, I was kind of in the background a little bit, but then I'm in the, I had a scene with Christina Applegate, who's brilliant. I was the whole section got became another movie called Wake Up Ron Burgundy. So I was in that but I met Paul Rudd on that and he was just really, you know, so handsome and so goddamn funny. Yeah. He wasn't funny. He was just an actor. And even then he was. You know, he was. Yeah, he was really funny as an actor. I think he was on the Stewart show a lot promoting Clueless and stuff. And I remember I would sit at his feet in the green room and he would tell funny stuff. Oh, wow. The only celebrity ever if I was Angelina, because it was like, You see her, you can't let her go. Oh, you object to your birth? I couldn't do it. I had a friend. Who was necessarily. My friend was not from L.A. He was in the shotgun seat. I was like, What are we doing? We have to catch you. Why did he even ask? I saw her with you. If you said. Oh, yes, yes. Oh, my God. I've seen her in different grocery stores. She shops a lot. And one time I don't mean No, no, no. One time when I saw her, she was kind of looking at some melons. Yes, I saw her in a purse. Yeah, Like an animal in the wild. One of them fell. You know that thing where you take one and they started to fall. And then in my mind, she fell too. But I'm not sure I. Oh. Oh. She was one of the melons. Yeah. Yeah, I. Saw her, like, cruising through so fast through the produce. I was like, it's like an animal in the wild. Did you pick up the melon, The film? No, I got out of there because I was like a celebrity having a horrible moment in her life or something. So, yeah, you're very generous with the term celebrity. Yeah, because normally celebrities don't sell T-shirts out of their trunk. I bought. I bought. I vote for her every year. All right. Because she runs for governor. Hmm. When she was running for governor, she had, like, merch you could buy. Oh, I think it was a cell phone case. You were alive, but it was like $100. Like her. Her price point is so far off, like a $40 tote. There we go. With, like, iron. On it. She's a Hollywood. She's still Hollywood. She's a Hollywood legend. And have you ever met? No. I wish I could remember. She was for doing nothing. She might have been the first for Rihanna. Well, what the. Hell does anybody else do? John Canelo. But she was kind of ahead of the curve because, yeah, you've got all the kind of like Kardashians and Paris Hilton. Yeah. Don't do anything in terms of talent, right? Yeah. Yeah. And she. Yeah. Skip it over like applause or anything. They did something. Well, are you saying Green Acres? Doesn't matter. You dismissing green law? Well, through a wormhole of Georgia, like, because she. I don't know. She's done so many tortures in the eighties. Oh. Slap that. She was just such a good conversation. One of them made a movie. I remember when I was a kid. You. I think you. I don't know, wishes Jar Jar ever. And there's another. One to I've I've I. Know. The third. I think. Yeah. Oh man there's a movie she made called one of them made called Queen of Outer Space. Oh wow. Yeah. Lovely. And one line though even as a kid, I thought I got to remember this like she at one point she just says, I hate that queen. Oh, fantastic. Yeah, that's the best line ever. Amazing. are y'all ever star struck like when you meet like Debbie, Harry's a huge. First time Debbie, my knees gave out. Oh, they really did. I walked over. I just sort of said hello and, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then I turned and walked away and I got about 100 feet away from her. And my knees. Kind of, uh. We we went saw Blondie recently up at a casino in Seattle. Oh, wow. And I said something so stupid to her, like, I was thrilled to meet her. She. She was a celebrity that was like, Oh, my God. You know, back in the day, Oh, my God. I think maybe you introduce me. In fact, I met. No, I was working at Barney's in Chelsea. Hmm. She did a show there, like, I think in the basement there was a stage and we found out he was there. He was sitting down, and I was working there. I snuck down to watch her first set, and that's the So I remember somebody sitting at her feet now. Ha. In my mind. You know, I, I was sitting. Yeah, I know. I was, I was starstruck by, another comic which is Jimmy Kimmel. And I remember and I, I, I know I kind of met him briefly and I said something so stupid the last time I saw him, I just didn't expect to see him. I was like I just got from my mom loves you so much. And he said, Thank you. Then I was like, How stupid. And my mom has good taste. Actually, she knows he's funny, but I thought that was such a dumb thing to say. We also dumb things. I just said something dumb to Debbie at that same show. I was like, I don't know. I was like, We were in the dressing room chatting and I felt very chatty and I wanted her to like me always do. I know. But I can't stop getting her to like me more. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah. I said, Oh, we were talking about squeezebox to bring us back to squeezebox and rock and roll the gay bar, basically. And I said to her, and this is true, but I should have said that I, I was watching her perform one night there and I took off my boxer shorts. Like I just ripped them off, like, kind of took it out of my sleeve. I threw the matter and I remember her commenting on them like that. She couldn't leave something through the boxes, but she didn't. She laughed or something. And I told her that in Seattle when we saw her and she didn't really give me a great but she didn't laugh or anything because I wish I never said that. Yeah. Oh, that's Louis, you know. A back. And it's kind of like she's Tom Jones and people are throwing her underwear on. Stage behind my doing that. Yeah. Shitfaced on a lot of drugs. And look, we're all just people. We all put our bras on one leg at a time. We'll look Ronnie Spector, the airport. Oh, my God, that's random. It's super random. But I lost my mind. It was in Austin flying to L.A., Right. And it was ashes coming in or in the airport. You know, the doors slide open. Mm hmm. Another set of doors that slide open. But in the middle, there's the two glass things that don't slide at all. Ronnie Spector was standing at those waiting for that to slide open, and the other two were going open. Close over comes over. And I'm like, Who is this old woman? And I just turn like, I come around and see your face. I'm like, Oh my fucking God, it's Ronnie Spector. Well, God bless you. For doing this. Oh, I know, Ronnie. You're just a baby. I couldn't believe it. And so I knew I could see. I looked and there was a car that looked like a big SUV with people's like, okay, I probably have 40 seconds. Right? So I was ironic. I had the perfect interaction with her. Like I told her I loved her Christmas music. I told her she's a goddess. She told me, I love. You, baby. Are like, Sure, everything was perfect. And I was like, okay, thank you so much. And I left right not to overstaying my welcome or be a psycho, right? But then Austin's a small airport and there's really just one flight to L.A. So then and security. Oh, I mean, I were waiting for the 500. It's too late. So we're all kind of in the same lobby area. I'm, like, sitting near her. And then. You're back at her hotel with her, like, Oh, God damn. It! Finally, you land LAX, and she's longer. She's in first class. And so I'm getting off the plane. It's that weird lower level of where you're coming out of the airport and she's coming one way and I'm coming the other. And this is like the sixth interaction. And I'm actually not looking at her because I'm like, I can't. Find. That as the time she goes, she goes, I love you, baby. And said. Oh. That's so sweet. I have this image of her in front of that glass and it's not moving. And by the time she realizes that, she's like she had to commit. Senior to it. Okay? Right. It's like. Look, I'm going to I'm going to just face my aggressor. Because my. Friend dropped me off and you could see her. And my friend goes, I hope Joan Jett's on your flight because she was just this long hair from behind. Oh. She was dressed. Well. Like a somebody. to bring it back to the probably one of the best shows on on cable, the minor accomplishments of Jackie Webber, I thought there'd be no way to get Ray Wise or too wise. Yes. And he's because he's such an amazing actor. And and I also thought Mary Kay Place would be out of reach. And we got them both. Ray Wise was so goddamn funny, and so is Mary Kay is my mom. And. And she was in this movie. I want to I want to actually get her on the podcast, who called Diane. And it was phenomenal. She Yeah. And it came out less. Yeah, she's phenomenal. And, and she was also amazing on Big Love. Do you remember that on HBO? Some saw that. The Sister. Wives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about. Yeah. Wife kill Laura. Palmer. I think because of those movies I fell in love with him even though it's creepy. Yeah. Yeah. And also it was funny because a friend of ours, Jeremy Kramer, was on set and we were just talking about stuff, and he knew that I had kind of a crush on Ray Wise He said he'd been Transylvania and he said, Laura, do you know that you can buy a castle in Transformania for $13,000? And then Jeremy says, Laura, do you want to live forever? Playing into the scary rewind factor. I don't. Do that. Eric called me. Oh, she did? Cause she directed your episode. I don't know if I ever tell it. She Oh yeah. She called and left message on our our answering machine. That's how long ago. And. And tell me how good. Oh, you're phenomenal, isn't she? But you're great, too. I know, but you're so good. Did you. Save them? I did. I mean, it's similar. Yeah. Yeah. We have to get her back messages. You're on quite a few. Oh, I still want to. I'm It is on Amazon. The main accomplishment is a jacket, but I haven't given up hope on getting it rebooted because I own the rights. So maybe get sponsored by your own show. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't seen it go out and work and they watch Amazon. Yeah. Yeah. I met Doris Day on her 90th birthday. Wild that's the celebrity that I met where I thought I was going to shit my film. I bet. I cried. Oh, birthday party You imagine ish. I mean, there was no room with that kind of, uh, but I did. We went to her birthday party, and she they famously she's got fans, obsessive fans, and we flew in from they fly in from all over the world. Let's go to this birthday party every year. Mm hmm. In at the Quail Lodge in Carmel. Oh. Why is that? What do you mean? You mean it's golf and lesbians? No, that's the Dinah Shore. And it's golf. It's a golf. Course. Oh, but isn't she? You're right. It is Dinah Shore. Or is it? Both? Isn't there? Isn't there? It isn't. Doris Day. No, I'm sorry. You're right. It's Dinah Shore. I'm sorry. Right in Palm Springs. Mm hmm. That's Diana. Yeah. Yeah. But there's golf. I mean that she loved all of the golf course. See, I've just lost the game man test just now. I'm sorry. Please go ahead. So she, um. So we went to her birthday party, you know, and she wasn't going to be there. Well, yeah, it was a fundraiser for her animal charity. Yeah. Oh, a movie of hers. And you sit there and watch it go with her crazy fan. Well, she wasn't going to be there. She was. Oh, she never goes to this country. So we were sitting at a table. We got the worst shitty table by the kitchen. Kitchen. So we're sitting there at the round table with all these weirdos and ha. Let's hear their side of the story. All the words that I saw, like, okay, I used that because we were at a table near the kitchen. Wait, I don't love men as much as you guys Go on. The doors open, the kitchen doors opened, and I was only watching as I was facing the door. And this little old lady, the shrunken head of a lady that looked just like Doris Day comes out with this man supporting a security guy, supporting her. And I thought, holy shit, I think that's Doris Day. And I told Chris that. And as soon as I took Chris, our whole table trashed and it's wild. Oh, now. The whole room just erupted and they circled around her like, But I made sure I saw her first. I kind of grabbed you on it, pushed you to go to go near her and everyone swarmed around her and Chris got close to her and it was pandemonium. And this 90 something year old woman had people like like was a rock star. People were swarming around her. And the security started saying, please leave her alone. No pictures, no pictures. But I wasn't going to have that because it's a fucking once in a lifetime thing. So I started taking pictures of and Chris snuck behind her and leaned up and I took pictures and a security guard was kind of pushing me away, but. And I felt terrible. This is a 100 year old woman story about especially adult Ed, I guess I know. You killed Doris Day. It's I did not. But just another random weird thing is Peter Marshall hosted that. Oh, wow. He's saying he was a he was fucking good. Like I was like a pure Marshall Center square whatever. You know. He he hosted it. Yeah. He was great. He was funny and he could sing. And we were like, he was stuck. It was awesome. Yeah. I got to tell her how much my mom loved her, and she put her hand on my arm and I just thought I was going to die. And, uh, she was lovely. See what? Jimmy Kimmel didn't do that to me when I said my mom loved him. Yeah, And I guess, I mean, I love him to by whatever. Reminds me of. Can I just. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. When Laura and I worked on Will and Grace, like, decades and decades ago, 100 years ago. So not really. Jan 2019. Oh, yes. We were, because we were on the OC. Reboot, right? Yeah. Yeah. But that. So now are you hearing this people say when they when they heard you wrote for that show or on the show whatever they used to be, I love that show and that it was my parents. My mother loves that show. And I recently got my grandmother. Oh, no. I got that. And I was like, Well. It was it was a gateway show. It was like the grandma could love again. That's how I came out to my parents. Shut up. Are you serious? Yeah. Wow. I was like, you know, Jack, I said, half the shit that he says is stuff that I have said. Oh, you still stole from me. Oh, oh. Oh. But where did you. Wow. So then. The show so much that they were. Like, So when you met John, could you you were probably shocked. Like, did you guys meet when John was writing for the show? Just. Oh my God, I'm so old. I can't. Oh, wait. I thought that that I was that. That's why I was. Wait a second. I thought I was the second person to introduce you. The same time you swear. You just said, Yeah, and we're escorted away. And so, yeah, I know. They were both like, there's this guy was coming out to L.A. from New York for work, and Laura and then my friend Blair Fell, who's a great writer. Blair who don't know each other. You guys don't know what I'm saying? There's this guy you've got to meet. And I didn't realize until I met him that it was the same person. Yeah. Huh? That's right. It has been all downhill ever. I think in Star Struck like Will and Grace, your share of Madonna. And I as we had shared on it, we all snuck into Cher's trailer before she tried on this. The wig trailer. Wait a minute. I was kicked out of Cher's wig trailer. Did you know that? No. Well, yeah, it was my off. No, I had no, I was on the show as an Ursula that one time and that. No, look, No, no, no. I mean, when Cher was on or whatever, but I got kicked out of my dressing room because they needed it for Cher's wig. Which was flown in separately from there. And, yes. Yeah. That was from a designer location. The wig had its own airplane. Yeah. So I'm not as important as real hair. And you know that. I know that. I know that she's real. Yeah. I mean, that it was more expensive than and probably more than anything I've ever made in my career working. On a show like that. And someone of like, Mag, like Madonna magnitude comes in. Is it something you have to gauge or like, are they approachable? Do I even like. Wait a second, now this is something John can answer because I was I was like, shitting on her from, like a secondhand story. John, you were there when Madonna showed up late, right? Yes. Oh, yes. We had a table read as we do, and everyone's on time. It's a table read. Our actors are always on time. It was good. We waited and waited and waited. It probably about 45 minutes, which is a long time to wait. I've been I've been I've been calling. In the waiting period. Are there is everyone like, where's Madonna? What do we do? Well, we all knew and we were sitting there and maybe somebody told us, but I can't remember. But I have to in case there's somebody listening that's not in this shitty business. A table read is when the actors read the script that the writers have worked on all week, and then they say, See how it goes? Yeah, yeah. Network is there and the writers are all there. And the actors sit around this table and they read it and everyone. And that's where you get notes of ideas and how to rewrite it if it doesn't work. That's what the network says. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, Jimmy Burrows was a Oh, right, Yeah. So Madonna finally comes swooping in about 45 minutes late and she goes, There's a trail of people behind her and she just goes, I know, I know. I'm late, I don't care. And, and we were all like, Oh my God. And I later on I was thinking about I think that was her attempt to be funny, like she was oh, I don't know. She's in over a great sense of. You're right. Yes, of course. I mean, I've already told I blabbed about the story. I said she was an hour and a half late and said that she says, I know I'm late, but who cares on Madonna. Hmm. It might have been that time that I got to go with that one, because that's better. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. And she went up to Eric McCormack after the table read, which you all know what that is now. And she said, Oh, which one are you? And oh great. This happened. And Eric pointed, he said, Turn the page, See that name at the top? That's me. Haha I'd love to do that. Yeah. So maybe she was funny, but. I want to say something nice. But really fire is really something that she's good at. But and I. Great moment. I had a great moment. You're not with her. I saw it. I was we were shooting the episode that she's in and we were between shots moving the cameras to a different scene or something. And so she was outside her apartment door. It was he was in her apartment. And the way everything was angled, no one could really see her. I was standing there and I saw her waiting for her entrance. It's in a madonna song, came out or was playing ordered. I bought a lucky star. One of them, that's one of the great ones from back in the day. And she started dancing to it. Oh, I'm dancing to it. I was the only one who saw it because I was, you know, obviously staring for the entire night. And and I thought, this is a great moment. Yeah. That's when cameras were invented. I mean, cameras were high, phones were invented, yet. Some would never. Fucking have that. But my that would be like a comic laughing at their own joke. But I've met Bob, who's now on tour. Oh. Oh, right. A the audience. Yeah. Bob is great. Really hard to like. I don't think so. I think. I think you are. I mean, just conversationally, like no one interrupts Bob because Bob. I don't know. He's on tour with Madonna right now. And so the last time I saw was before that. But they've been in rehearsals. What is he? He it's a. He does like, uh, ballroom dance hall like comes out in drag but does like the, um. The French shit out of the Renaissance. Yeah. All that does Vogue and comes out but does a whole night like ballroom scene on tour. It's really a great feature. But I. You saw the tour? No, I just go, I can't fucking afford to go. Oh, but they. I asked Bob like, what is Madonna like. And he said that she's really funny and she sings a lot and she'll just start singing all of a sudden, but she'll start singing her own songs. Wow, that's such a great but. So that is a that is like narcissism times three Well, sing your own songs. You telling your own joke. You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch in the mirror, too, you son of a bitch. Chris Rock, God dammit! Her hair and curlers. Laura, you are killing me, Well, we. Usually ask a question like, how do you know when you've made it. And mine was it was like homeownership, which is a joke. But I think right now is Mae West. I know I've made it when I'm living in the Hollywood Tower where. Oh. It's so beautiful, that place. Yeah. Know, I've made it when I have a car with my balcony. Shit. I'll come over tomorrow. Might be funny, but this weekend. Celebrities. Like they didn't. They're not laughing it over. You have. Three. But you have a bingo card and you pick a celebrity. Oh, I will die that year. Yeah. So I won this last year. Oh, no. Who did you bet? Tina and Bob Barker and fucking Jimmy Carter would have been my winner, but he's still with us. Oh, who's the third one? There's no. And Tori Spelling was my young person. Mm. I won. So my meal, I get to be taken to dinner at sunset. Oh, nice. We had to. Pick a young person that wasn't just like, you know, why her? Why? Notorious. She's a crazy bag of snakes. She. I wrote every cast member of Beverly Hills 91 or a fan letter, and Tori Spelling is the only one that wrote me back and gave me an autograph. What a sweetie. And you tried to kill her this year? Yeah, I. Just pay her back by killing. Her off. I love. Well, I still love her, but, you know, she was in the news and it was like she was kind of like Britney level. Like. Yeah, Yeah. Okay. Well, you. Plus, you got to be down. I don't know how. I mean, any child actors can survive. It's so incredible. Child actor But your dad is Aaron Spelling and he left you nothing. I know. It's disgusting. Nothing. Right. And you know who got it all? Fucking candy. Candy and candy. Have a heart, for fuck's sake. Do you know who his first wife was? Aaron Spelling First all, I was like, No, I've ever had Carolyn Jones. Wow. Oh, was it? There's a Lucille Ball had a radio show that says REHASHED and put it on CBS where she interviews Carolyn Jones. And she's just asking about like, what do you do? And Carolyn Jones, without mentioning any name, she as well. I've just recently been divorced. Oh, she's having a hard time with it. Oh, you're an old soul. It ain't No, there's no there is no one that Daniel doesn't know. It's crazy. They're so. Good. I know. And I suppose that also just means gay. Right? Yeah. So. Yeah, right. Or just old the old. Oh. I love this show. Oh, love you, kids. All right. Thank you so much for joining us. And wait a second. We want I want to talk about where to get Chris's book. You can get the Green Witch's Guide to Magical Cleanser Flowers Anywhere, anywhere the books are sold at Amazon or Barnes and Noble WSJ.com or Go. I recommend going to an independent bookstore and asking me. And if we're if we want to see John perform or Chris, we're going to have to go to Spain. Oh, yeah. We've been kicked out of the country by Madonna. No, we just want to leave. And yeah, there's I didn't have a job for a while and there was a strike. And you know what? It just felt like a good. And it sucks here in America. I was totally expatriate, you know, going home. We're moving. We're going in for the golden Visa and become citizens. And the whole thing. Is that like the golden bachelor. That. John's going to be like? All John's opening. Us. To. John's opening a theater there. Don's opening a theater there. So we'll do our show there, too. Yes, I want to do that. Yeah, have to just, you know, I love it is Make America Great Again with. Oh, my heart. Yeah. Oh, Jesus, John. Remember when you got the letter? It Will and Grace for your episode? I got a lot of hate mail he's been posting and I've been posted on Instagram. Oh, really? John Connolly Well, you got a conversion. You got a conversion. I'm sorry, you got a conversion therapy, something letter or conversion? What's it, a family letter? Yeah. Yes. And I have been posting the hate mail because, because Chris and I are moving, I've been going through old stuff and throwing stuff away. And I found this folder of hate mail and kept. I guess I was proud. I was getting hate mail. Yes. And that's how, you know, it's on my Instagram, A lot of it. There's a lot more to come, but they're fucking funny and usually they're riddled with typos. Yes, I know one from this woman who's she says she's 17 and this silly show is not funny. And I thought I thought silly kind of funny, but whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was praying to her, God that we were canceled soon. And I. And I put her name up because, you know, she died like. Hmm, yes, but yeah. So a lot of hate mail. What's your. Instagram handle so people can look at hate mail. At John Connolly, right? Yeah. Oh, and I add a l l y. K and a l l y. Did you believe it when you started this? No, I wasn't sure. You know, I remember moving here and hearing people say their names like a question. Monica Yeah. And I was like, Well, if you don't know, neither do I. Okay. I was told once by a dear friend who's passed away, she wants told me never to do that, never talk like this and do it to her. You lose your power. Ooh, yeah, that makes total sense. When you're questioning everything you. Said. You also never supposed say the word just because it diminishes the values or whatever else. It's just the. Oh, I see that. Oh, right. Miniaturizing yourself. That's. That's good advice. Yeah. That's what this podcast is known for. Right. Well really. Up or down and. Yeah, you laugh, you provide. Something. I had a viral moment with Barack Obama that was gay. Jay. Oh, fuck. That's right. I see what you meant. Barack Obama. Oh, so handsome. Pre gay marriage. This was in Texas. That's a long story. But I was working and I was is I Rick Perry was governor, so I was like, equal rights for gay people because gay marriage was in the news. And Obama looks at me, goes, are you gay? And I said, Only when I'm having sex. And then he fits. But I feel like I remember there's a story. You told that story numerous I think I know on this podcast. Yeah. Yeah. I remember a thing. Yeah mine. Yeah, yeah. I think I was. I don't mean to say I'm, you know, I remember hearing that I was on. The Huffington Post, but. Huffington Post, hang. On out of the restaurant. I worked and got mailed like a bible and people just highlighted the gay shit was just a couple of pages that they would send scripture. Oh, no. Few things that were all these, like Christian people praying for me to lose my job. That was all. Horrible. Equally, if you ever lose a job, you do it on your own. But yeah, the website and my my like, press section, it's like all of whatever articles I've had and it's like hated by Internet Christians. And there's the link to all the facts again, but there. Are type. That's how you knew you made it. Yeah. Hate me? Yeah. Hi. Yeah, I've stopped thinking about making it. That's how I've made it. I've gotten out of it. But, you. Know. But I used to get mail From mail prisoners. And I thought that was kind of, you know, because they can only they probably have to vote on what they're going to watch. I get letters from prisoners saying that they like my brand of humor. And then they'd end the that end the letter with when they'd be out, I'll be out in May or whatever. And it's like, okay, great. You know, I'm sorry, I, I used to write prisoners because I thought that would be a nice thing to do back in the nineties. Mm hmm. Like a way to write to gay prisoners. Mm hmm. And be a pen pal. And it went well at first, but they always almost always said, could they stay with me when they got out? Oh, wow. And they always ask for money. Oh, sometimes in an envelope. I gave them stamps and the next letter would always come back. I liked the stamps, but could you send me money? Oh, and I did. I didn't. I never got that far in a prison relationship. So you finally gave money to somebody and you haven't stopped looking. So if there are any ex-cons listening right now, what's your hand now? We just want. Is it? Yeah, I was just my johns on Instagram out there. And Chris's book, too. So do you want to say it. Again at two green, which is. And it's the number two to green. No, that's so good. We just yeah. If Lynch it's a documentary about it. Is Lynch influenced by the movie The Wizard of Oz, right? Uh huh. Like five directors. I know he. Is. He's obsessed with. It. He is. Was he going, Oh, let's. Talk about really fast comedy. Yeah, There was a there's a quote where he's like, not a day goes by that I don't think of The Wizard of Oz. Wow. Wow. I thought in the new Twin Peaks that came out a few years ago, you really saw that? Yeah. Yeah, there's a documentary about that. I want to I want to. Add a little because I think. That's what we watch just. Because of Wizard of Oz. I want to feel the poppies. Yeah, Chris, you're the one to do it, too. Would you plan a field of poppies out here for me? Now, I know heroin. Yeah. And Linda would have killed them all with fentanyl. You know. John, say your Instagram handle again, please. Oh, I've already forgotten it. And your name? She needs everyone. She's at John Connolly. Do I spell. Where John Connolly at? John Connolly at John Connolly. Only want to act. I don't know. I'm not on Instagram. Oh my. Oh my God, dammit, get. I follow you. I you at least. Yeah. Poor Garret. I'm sorry. Oh. Oh. So you're at John Connolly. That John Connolly and to add to Greenwood. Yay, yay, yay. Thank you, guys. Thank you. I love you. God, this is great. I love my way. I love this podcast. I'm so happy to get on it. I hope you know, you can cut everything out that we know. We're going to continue on with you guys when you're in Spain. We're going to loop the reading of Debbie's intro. It's going to be 8 hours of it. Yes. Yeah, that's what I wanted to pay. Thanks. I wanted to pay a compliment to you, too, because you. Think things. Would follow you on the street. Oh, my God. That's pretty amazing. We're going to a jam. We don't deserve. We don't deserve it. No, no, that's great. Daniel does. Section. It was the books. I don't know what section. Because when you got in the door, my friend Marta, David and I, we had been following him and we got scared and we ran away. Once we went inside, we're like, We can't do it. I mean, I loved him from the start and, you know, got to meet him. But now that I know that he reads not so sexy now. Not sexy. Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd reads, I'm sorry. Literacy is hot. You take nothing from this and you set the literacy and and Ted Bundy are. All yes. Haters. When a man has a leg up on my reading ability. I do. I do. Thank you, guys. I love you guys. Thank you. God, That was fun. Appreciate it. You