"Gill on Gussets & Galaxies" with Caitlin Gill

Brighter than Vega, as necessary as the dark sky, science communicator and crotch gusset enthusiast, Caitlin Gill joins Daniel and Laura to ruminate on the Horseshoe Theory, fenced compounds, Pluto, Uranus, star leftovers, Angelica Houston, the way you pronounce “antennae” says a lot about your identity, Angela Lansbury, Daniel’s puberty greets the apex of his mother’s menopause and Caitlin answers a ten-year-old astronomer’s question: Why are we here?

X:
@ROBOTCAITLIN

Insta:
@caitlinistall

Sky Watcher Star Tours

Caitlin's album, "Major"

WWTWH YouTube Channel

Laura Kightlinger
Twitter: @KingKightlinger
Insta: @laurakightlingerlives
Web: laurakightlinger.com

Daniel Webb
Twitter: @thedanielwebb
Insta: @the_danielwebb
Web: thedanielwebb.com

Transcript

0:08

Hi, everybody. I to what we thought would happen. Our guest today has reached the stars as an astronomer, as a person, as a comic, as a brilliant writer. And she, she we were both in a musical revue together called Dogs. Dogs, Dogs. And she brought the star. Major Houlihan, as. With. Her rider, was pretty extensive. Thank you for providing the bone broth. Sure, sure. And the name Brian Kibble. Not to be named because they don't sponsor her, but. They will after this, I'm hoping. Yeah, I am. But Major's handler. Yeah. I, Caitlin Gill have brought the true guest. Writer Margaret. Houlihan with me. Major is. I didn't even say your name. So I specify the dog with us. I step on your intro. No. Is the incomparable Caitlin Gill. Yeah. Yeah. And. And a frontiers woman. Caitlin is out. Caitlin and Kelly are out near Joshua Tree. Yep. Building a home. Building their own home homesteading. Me and sweet lady are on five acres of desert. Goodness. There is a home on it that needed a lot of TLC, I'm sure. So I have been working, working on that. Let's get in those calluses, get my Carhartt dirty. You know, I still go for the the the. Right. What poor people think is rich name brands. But I do actually work in them. Wow. But that's rewarding. Building your own home. She's breaking rocks out there. I am. So the place we got I mean, if you're thinking of moving to Los Angeles, let me tell you that my mortgage on five acres is less than my rent on a studio in Los Angeles. But. And that area out there is beautiful. Super gorgeous. Yes. Do you have to immediately. I should. Say I don't live in 29 Palms or sorry, I live in 29, which is outside of Joshua Tree. And that is a that is an asterisk. Yeah. No one does. Not simply like live in banning and say they live in Los. Angeles, but it is. Nonetheless in the Joshua Tree area and phenomenally beautiful home of just a couple of miles from a park entrance. I remember saying I was from New York and people thought, you know, like, think New York City. And it's like, no, it's might as well be the South. Right. From near Buffalo, New York. So it's. Like I found that entry. Like Astoria doesn't count. I don't live in New York. Never have. Did you go to that. Place when speaking to people of an international ilk? I found that saying taxes instead of the U.S. had a lot broader. Yeah, California also works that way. Yeah, it's its own country. It's a planet. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Where are you serious about the astronomy thing? Are you. Really? Yes. So I know you from years performing standup comedy, which I still love and occasionally dust off. But these days I spend more nights under literal stars in Joshua Tree in the actual park. I do astronomy tours. Do you really? Yes. So when I'm feeling fancy, I work in science communication. And when I'm feeling honest, I'm a tour guide. Is using. Both amazing. Either way, I. Have a pilot like both to the observatory. so. Cool. In any shape or form. Yeah. And they see right through my bullshit. I just want. To. Yeah. Even know that was something you could do. I just figure, like, scientists are just plopped there. No, they want. Teachers are just showing people. I think they want someone with some credentials and not just someone who can do a type thing. You know, it. Turns out that science communication is a whole. Job. Yeah, I can't. Do the science part. Don't scratch the surface here. I cannot do the math. I will never be building equipment. I will never discover anything about a star. But when somebody does, I can tell people about it. So, you know, if you like. 2020 happened, Everything changed. We just kind of let it. I started looking for actual jobs. Do you remember it that you have to like, do that you go and. Like, you know, you. Work at the same place. Over and over. I'd say to people, I. Did that recently and hated it. Yeah, it's I it's notoriously awful. Plus, like, I you just don't assume that 12 years in stand up translates on a resume. You really. I kind of thought I. Was just going to be explaining a 12 year gap in employment. But credit to the folks I'm working with out there, they were looking for somebody with a background like mine, which felt incredibly lucky because they've worked with scientists and they're not as excited to make cocoa night after night and talk about the phases of the moon. Like you've got to meet people where they are on the last we did last week. And you're a people person. You have to. Be that part you. Like to be, you know, And Caitlin also is one of the few people who is always an amazing host, which I think is the hardest job you. Aaron Foley I had a terrific conversation. We were yelling in a green room about how hosts are terribly mistreated. It should never be the greenest comic. It should always be like, yeah, people working at features as features, flip it, have them open the show, get it really hot for a new local comic to come, do a few minutes and then give it back to the feature level talent to then bring on the headliner. Were just screaming in agreement. Yes. Roll out the louder and louder the more we agreed. Aaron is a sports fan. Aaron is a yes. So lineups are a big deal. Yeah. she's the best. We read her at her birthday party. You went to a birthday. Thing at the Didn't she have, like, a birthday show? It was a virgin. you know, kind of. There was a little celebration. At that tiny. Little bar. Yeah. Anything, anyway. Yeah, go ahead. are you okay? So, what do you like, planetary astronomy or. Yes, Stellar. We in Joshua Tree National Park is designated Dark Sky, so it's super, super dark. There's just no city lights for lots of miles. So there's a dark sky movement. Yeah, it's important. Yeah. It's good for mental health. It's good for our physical health. It's good for the physical health and wellbeing of animals. Like really good for them. Moths have a reputation for being kind of dumb because they spelled around light, but no friends. Moths keep the moon on their left, so there's just. Thousands of. Moons around there, around them to get confused by. my God, it's spinning. Yeah, they're just spinning. They're not, you know, designed to have sources of artificial light all around. Can I tell a quick moth, please? We are in Victoria, Texas, which is whatever, and so is my country. And we were. It was nighttime and, you know, like a like a yellow, like a flood light, like one of those. It was a side of my friends elementary school and yeah, so there's the shadow cast by the, by the light and there's a moth and we're just sitting there, right? And so we're like creeping up to it and we're looking like right here at this moth. And then we realize and the like, umbrella of the shadow is then even bigger. Wow. It was like the size of a ball. It was so big. And it scared the shit. Out of me. Yeah, it was Mothra. We scared that hollow weight that moon factor's. Yes. So the night sky is just good. Good for us. It's so easy to disconnect from. It's so easy to be surprised by, like the moon up in the afternoon and just be totally removed from that cycle. That's very consistent. It is very easy to just ignore the sky, especially if you can't see it. But the dark sky is worth preserving. Yeah, because that's maybe that's why people can't sleep. Yeah. That's a yes. That it's just disconnects us from our place in the universe a little bit. Most humans who've been humans, this is what I find and I'm surprised by it. I think it's kind of a neat conundrum. Most people live in places so bright they've only seen the Milky Way in Astrophotography. Yeah. So they've seen the Milky Way, but it's like purple and blue. But that's not what the Milky Way looks like to your eyes. It looks milky. Its name. It's like a smear. Yeah, it's like because what you're seeing is a band of stars close together, but far from us. So about 33,000 light years out, roughly. FactCheck yell at me on the Internet. There are stars close to one another, too far away for us to resolve. There are so many of them. They're light, just close in the sky. So your eyes could easily tell you that's fog or cloud. But when you know that it is starlight. Yeah. In myth that's that's Hera's milk. That is that's queen of the gods now that is selection of the top dogs. So this was why I took stellar astronomy and not for the game physics calculus of it all. I was like, Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just blow my mind with facts. That's all I want. The facts are and knowing how to communicate the facts. So is apparently a hold your up so to Have you heard about the recent moon missions that. Yeah this. Would have been thwarted. That. Happen. I mean I feel like those are really easy had like headlines big budget projects like that are difficult and bound to not go right but that isn't good press So. Right. But I still have faith. Well I have. I'm sorry. It's one day. Please. Caitlin. The last time we spoke, you said there was you. You're doing your your job as I'm. Can I say, astrophysicist? Yeah. Yeah. Doctor of astrophysics. Yeah, sure. And there was a little kid who kept asking you the same question or whatever. Well, there's. You remember that about what you said? you are just that it was actually fun. Or actually. Yeah, he kept I so he asked question after question about like the earth's size and where we are and like, what? So we're rotating around the sun. It like he has all these questions about elements and with like a 9 to 10 year old brain so he was kind of soaking up some answers, but he got pretty deep and to a place where it was very natural for him to just look up at me and go. So why are we here? I my sweet friend And I, his parents are there, so I'm just looking at them like, let's see, I don't see a visible cry. Yeah, I don't think I have an answer. I don't mean to give it to you, actually. It's like suddenly it's like, Are you a creationist? Yes. Is the CRT. Yeah. Was right. What is your answer? Are we are as as inevitable as we are unlikely. I love it. beautiful. Right, Major. Major. The we have. Been here since the Big Bang bang. It just took a really long time for all the steps to happen. Yeah, the universe is really big, but that is the size of the factory it takes to make our ingredients. So our size isn't in opposition to the size of the universe. Our sizes just reach a system. Just what we're supposed to be. I wish you were my mom. I know. I'm learning so much. I know it's. It's not too late for. Well, you a job, maybe. Well, you adopt me, or at least let you. At least. Were you homeschool like this is great. You made a brilliant for the drapes and get some severe lighting on us absorbing. I wish all kids could hear that and know that there isn't anything to be frightened of or or to act a certain way because of, you know, because of God. Don't get. Punished or. Or because we're unimportant. It's all it all comes back to big and small at the same time. Kids are. Great. Guess. Yeah. You think. That. Yes. The opposite of the comedy environment. Kids are wonderful. Guests. Because adults are cool. They're trying to be too cool so they don't get excited because excited and sincerity is not cool. Well, so because they're probably stupid. That too. And they feel like they're stupid. Yeah. I've worked in retail environments like this before. If you're doing anything high end where people don't understand what you're talking about, but they did pay for it, they're in a weird headspace. you've. Got to like, you've got to massage that very gently. So funny. I feel that way about speaking of, you know, massages. If you paid for something, you'll, you know, you'll go along like I had a massage and afterward I had a bruise on my neck and, you know, $300. So she could have just beaten me to death. Yeah. Without me saying anything. My neck hurt and I was like, for.$300, you're going to be hospitalized. That's like, I should be broken, but. Get a massage. Or the most embarrassing fight I've ever been to see. I want to be hurt. And a massage. I do. There's a place I go to in and Studio City. And the youngest person they have to walk on your back is 900 years old. And I want. I want her mother and she beats the out of my neck. And I love it. Yeah. Walks on. You always are shiatsu smart. I love it. Yeah. You never think a heel would be So. Are they looking for anyone? I ran size 1230 613. Are they in the market? I like it rough. I really do. And it's like every time I ask for a man. Mint. I'm telling you. But it's like it makes me look to. We could go. We could be. Dominatrix is on the table. Let's get this on tape. I have a friend who's a dom. I have a friend who's a Dom, and it's mostly older, like white guys who want to get, like, their balls, man, I'm not there. No way. That's the target. Yeah, that's really, Really? Yeah. Older white guys. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. Evolution at all with MAGA. Girls have to go have a woman beat the shit out of Jesus. Which reminds me also, you know, Daniel, Caitlin and I were on stage in 2016 at the Improv lab. Yes. When all hell broke loose. Yeah. Question real fast. Was it just the sheer confidence we all had that you thought, I know I'll do a show that night, but yeah. Really? yeah. I was terrified. My genuine surprise at the results feels I'm still surprised. But me too. I think I blocked it out of my mind. It's why I'm scared this time. Because I'm like, no way. And I'm like. No, that feeling. You've been so. Wrong. Yes, Desperately wrong before. 100%. Yeah, I was surprised. And we're backed into a corner because of Biden. It's also my show was just on Tuesdays. Well, yeah, happen to be. It really wasn't that. I love your show. Crab apples. Yeah. Yeah, That was Kayla girl. Bobcat GOLDTHWAIT. Thank you. Hollywood improv. It's a great. Show. It was. It was so much fun to do. That's where I met you and also Bobcat. But Deborah, did you. Vani? my God, Nobody can. Funny in the tower, but that was the first time I was like, on a show with Deb and was just crushed. Like, the way she crushes is crazy. It's one of those comics where, like, you know, sometimes the audience laughs in the back of the room titters or the back of the room explodes and the audience is like, I. Guess this is. Good. Yeah. Deb Just like. Back to front. Audience to comic. It's unreal. Just she just you watch. The outside of a comedy club, clear like everybody will be out, like doing goofy, just goofing around. Sorry I hit your camera. And. Like, you'll hear Deb get announced or hear her voice and you'll just watch the whole creep back in. Yeah, Yeah. She's canceled on us. To the show, but, you know, she deserves it. Yeah. Let let divas diva. She had to cancel on us because the audience was still laughing. Yeah, I know why They were still applauding. They wouldn't let her out, so, you know. No, I. Know, I know. But that was a brilliant show. She's proved. It. Yeah. Yeah, it was so much fun. I always want to talk about, like, the planets and the stars, but that's. You can't help it when you're out in rural. Yeah, and you can see all that jet lag. You can literally. See it's in my yard. Caitlin, step outside and see Monopoly. Building a club in your. Yard, you know, come. Out. I don't know what I want to do yet. I miss stand up all the time. I haven't even touched it yet. I don't even know how to like. I don't, I. Yeah, you do. I mean, I know what you mean. We're going to start doing recess. Could you stop? You know what I mean? Like, what would. Happen if you stopped? What would happen if the last time you did standup regularly was, like, three years ago? Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. I perform 10 hours a week, you know, 2 hours at a block in front of tiny audience audiences that are riveted. I get to do. 2 hours. At a time playing with telescopes, goofing off, being funny and stuff. And I'm still thirsty. Yeah, for like three unpaid minutes. I wait hours for at a garbage comedy club, like, I miss it. Yeah. Like, can you try out your stuff in front of people a little bit? I don't tend to crossover in that direction. I would probably go the other way and do some silly, spacey comedy. Yeah, but. Yeah, I miss comedy all the time. I think. So. I had a breakthrough. It's not what you were asking, but I miss comedy all the time. no, I'm saying let's start. A club and you're in your backyard. RuPaul had a had a realization about being late all the time and how they were addicted to the adrenaline. Yeah. And to me, I really recognize myself in that. But I also there's weird adrenaline stuff involved in like, performance and. Stanley. my gosh. yeah. And I find myself because me, I sweat and I'm like, nervous and I don't want to talk and I'm, you know, I'm not hungry. I'm like, why am I addicted to that? But I am. So hooked. More. Also, the performance. I remember feeling. So even before a show, I would just be like quiet focus, kind of calm, like definitely in reserve. And then as soon as I get off stage, I'm just sparkles. All the nerves came after. So I'd just be like just insufferable, bubbly and nuts for a couple analyzing everything going over the. So yeah, I had this reverse. Like I would be so kind of hungry for what I knew was coming after that. I'm just like, murder eyes on the post set feeling. Yeah, but I do think that's part of the like craving. even when you, like, bomb, you still want to do it again. Yeah. That's what feeds that is the. Only sets that make me that I didn't like were good. I want to kill or die. Like, let's kill or die here. Let's. I want to put it all out. I don't want to set where? I don't know why I didn't kill it. Yeah, like, yeah, that was fun. Was it good? Good. And you should, like, we're not like. Yeah, like I'm not. Yeah. Yeah. I'm serving pistachio. And I know it, like, for you or I'm not. If everybody's like, that was fine. I did something weird. But. You know, I was say that like, when people say they're only comfortable on stage. Yeah, I realized, like, I'm not comfortable anywhere. And I might as well I might as well be on stage. Yeah, I did. I had to do a. Special. In front of cars. It was during COVID and yeah, I was like, and it was like Edwidge was a gamble. Yes. And to do an hour in that space, you had to be like, okay, just pretend like you're totally alone and that there never going to laugh, right? There's going to be zero laughter for 60 minutes, which is basically what it was, but it really was. And I was like, the breakthrough was I was like, but that's how I feel all the time. Yeah. Even when you're killing, it's like, Well, I am just kind of here. Like, you're still with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So no matter where you go, you're still with your. But it was one of those things I was like, Yeah, you always are. Like Maria Bamford doing her special at home in a living room. my. God. It was like the special filter. Especially. Like. So, so, so. So when you were in the were you in a parking lot? Was it the thing was just behind the Magic club. The, the poster says the Rose Bowl, but technically it is the parking lot of the rose. sure. Okay. So the sign is in the background, so you can see what. A great Broadway. It was, but it was good. My favorite was they had mixed the cars so you could hear the laughs. okay. But you could also hear the chips crinkle. Yeah. And the like. Seatbelt? Yeah. Yeah. Is there a. Bathroom? No. You could hear all that and the monitors as well. I didn't understand that. Tammy Joe, who's a great comic, and also she's helping us produce this. She. I don't understand. She's trying. Is it because we did the parking lot behind the comedy Magic Club? Is that like a drive in? Yeah. Yeah. okay, good. That's what I wasn't sure. I thought that's stupid. And COVID. Yeah, especially that show. That was like the only show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And somehow worked. I think if especially if you're, like, not a performer and you're trying to get out of the house in a global pandemic. Yeah, I think from that lens it sort of did the trick. Yeah, but you know, I was never a fan of, like, Sonic Hops, Right? Unless you're on roller skates. So I'll show up and watch you, but your bath better be on wheels. she. Really should have done it on wheels. The whole. Thing. And guess what? I'm great on and skates. I believe that, you know. If you if it was a yes or no is Daniel was good. At skating, I'd be like, yes. It's just these legs. The length of it all. Yeah. That's truly. Ironic. To stand at the same height. And it's pretty clear. I am not going. To tell you how enamored I am with your height, because I just never I rarely get to make, like, eye contact with the person. I stand up straight sometimes. Then I realize my posture spent, but I've had to adapt. The world is built three or four inches too low. Remain. So I've started touching things with my fingertips, not my hands. you know, I used to reach for objects on a counter and it's like I want my whole hand on it, but that's hunched. So yeah, I just have to navigate my fingertips. That's on me. You know, I realized my mom didn't realize, like, how tall I was getting. And she used to say, because every time we went to a restaurant, I'd knock over something. I'd knock over the water, I knock over something. I'm not taking you out again until you're 21. But yeah, it's going to improve then. Yeah, kind of falling to my finger. I go full grown like a boxer. We're like. Yeah, that's true. It's like your depth of perception has to change and it isn't built for us. It should be by now. It should be. Well, I've said this every. I've made this so boring. Now I want just sleeves that fit. my. God. Sleeves. Pant legs. Yeah. Please, Please. Yeah. There's that Oprah trick. First day in arms. And I constantly. I'm a piano player, so it makes me. I feel like I have to, but it works better standing up. Essentially. It's. You just sit with your arms at your side and you point your thumbs forward, and then you take your arms and you roll them out. yeah. And you drop them and that's where you're supposed to. Be, which. Is kind of a haunting way to say, Really? Yeah, tits out the whole thing. But you can feel it. With your heart. Yeah, It's all about the pussy. First, but it's a it feels right. The first. Is better. It's made with your heart's a little soft. I like your pussy. Three. Is that your slogan when you were running for Senator of Pussy first? No, but I did just work on stage in the past and just go where God was at. Pussy. Your vagina. I just. You still one of the one of the two? Both great words. Yeah. I think I just. I can't remember my own old opener. I remember I was very. Specific in San Francisco forever. They were like, it was just the right time in the twins for us to be like, we. Do shows with women. Like, this show's got gal gals, gal ladies with smiles from Miles. So I just would always. Get introduced as like. Are you ready? Are you ready for a female Just God. Like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Didn't make as much money as when I worked clean, but it was really satisfying. We did. You were. Was there a time when you would work like my. Album that still helps keep life easier? Is I clean? Wow. Thank you. Laughs USA for continuing to support my work with Major. We're going to say it again and put a link to it. Named after my sweetheart Major. She's on the cover. Honestly, Carolina. Where I'm so. Volume is major is just. Yeah she's she's. Like she's any stranger to me yelling. Yeah. She said, okay, mother, now if you must take the stage. I got a. Little, especially after touring. I toured with Bobcat. Thank you, Bob. I just realized one it's, you know, okay, so it's a little easier, like, you know, yelling about nabbing or throwing in a bunch of dirty words. Just make things a little bit easier. So I like the challenge, but if I'm meant to be a lesbian in Saint Louis, like, you know, why don't I like, I just wanted to try to make things easier. I could be more honest if I was not pushing buttons that didn't need to be pushed. wow. So I was able to be a little bit more personable, but still maybe push an audience in that whole like, I'm gay and you're going to like me anyway thing. Yeah, which is no big deal here. And then you leave and it's a big deal. Everyone, we. Talk about that because I feel it's like everything. Got so much. Worse and you don't, especially if you're not a no name, are you? The first 10 minutes are yes for anyone trying to explain yourself. But then it's like, my God, please don't think your hell bound. Yeah, just because I'm in the room. Yes. my God. And trying to get people over that. So aside from opening with a pussy and then just yelling and I can't really sell it anymore, I used to just say, like, you know, you know, I'm gay because you can see me now. The easiest way to just get this out, like, let's just get this done, because if I don't, you're going to spend the first 10 minutes doing the math yourself. Figure it out. Waiting for me to mention some partner in one way. Or it's just like. For a minute, not a minute. Four years. My whole opening was like, I'm from Texas, I'm in the closet, and every gay man does. Sure, every gay man either does that or says, I crush pussy. Like, sure, yeah, one or the other. But it did say that again. No, because it's someone else's line. But it's like it worked. It totally did the trick. Yeah, but then at least people are like, they have a sense of humor about themselves. Yes. Or at least lets them know that you know you're going to hell. I remember I was laughing about this. I told these guys I was writing on the show and I told these guys that I had a date with this guy. And then the next day they go, So did did you turn his dick to dust? And that made me laugh so hard. I never heard that. Did I turn his dick to Wait a minute, I have osteoporosis. Many I think he's going to be poking into. That's amazing. Does that mean you made him gay or that you're just like such a girl that. Like, I guess, like, grinding? I don't know, till I turn some dick to dust? I could have been a compliment. I think it. Was a compliment. Yeah. Like, Yeah, Yeah. Really? Let's see. If you turn his dick to ash, you'd have that fire pussy, or you go right? I don't know. That's the problem with working with men. You have to understand their language. You don't, my kiddo. I don't just ignore it. And I think when I was like a teenager and still there would be okay. It was like environmental, right? You're like a chameleon if someone's super butch man. Are you trying to do that too? Which is humiliating. Yes. Yeah. I'll never forget. I gone to college and my cousin. To pick in an airport that I. Was being I was doing in college with a kid. I want to spell out. I was taking stellar astronomy among other flights of fancy. But I came through. I came home and my cousin, I forgot he's so broke. He was like, You got a skirt. And I literally thought he meant like, did you by yourself? And yes, I was like, as a matter of fact, I do it. It looks great. And at least I didn't know what he meant. I was like, were they trying to be a brother? Was like a girl. Some strange, which I was like, who uses strange? Which is strange is great. I it's a great word, but it's like using Kleenex or Sanka. Date to my friend in New. York. We used to go to. This Kleenex out. It's just in general. Yeah, but it's a disease. Yes, actually, I don't work. 32 winters. You have. To tell me this. Same story. I'm right there with you. My friend and I used to go to this deli, and in the guy didn't speak English that well, and we had. And then we hadn't been there in, like, a couple of weeks. We were there every week. And instead of saying, Hey, strangers, he'd say, Hey, strange to us. And I said, We have to write something called a strange novel. He's strange. Just know it works for the gays. Both ways of girls are like girly. If girls are like, my God, I was looking at my. Ring and I did my registry and I had I'll be like, Yeah, I know what a square cut I'm I know. What's that? Yeah, that was the girl, right? Destination wedding. That's primo. I have an older sister, so I know. What, Like a princess. I want a destination death You don't want. I know what a crush does. It is how it improves my step. It's incredible. A crutch. a gusset. If I don't buy a garment unless it's got gas, it's You can. I don't know what. Yeah, well, your boss. What does it do? I can demonstrate a gusset. Do you see how the seams on the armpit of the shirt or. or engineered for movement. Yeah. It's not just a single seam. There is some built out space and maneuverability. You want that in your crotch? Yeah. You got to. Look for a crotch gusset. Because if you're going to do floor drops, if you're going to pop your ass at all. If you're going to install flooring. Pop in some baseboard. I love this. Getting both sides. Yes. Honestly, the same pants work for both because I can slide kneepads and. Pants and you need that. You need that. So we should exchange some shopping list. I mean, it is different. Purposes, but same. Size. Can you do. Really in an overall zero? So if you need any recommendations, let me know. I love wearing just yeah, I like wearing that. It's called five Rock. It's a it's one piece. yeah. Yeah, yeah. They have a cover all that I just call that now I have like three of the same ones and that's just what I look like. So you, you love those. And I had to grandfather theirs, and they're both dead. That is normal. And one of each one. Right. And I got, I got, I always wanted more because they had good stuff but ragged each one died and I got an Dickies work suit out of both of those two. One is gray and one is Navy. And it's the whole lineup. If I, if I had a day where I'm haven't been productive, I just put one of those on till you feel productive. Yeah, exactly. Answer the door. I do. I don't miss I don't know. This is like me doing therapy about missing stand up as much as it it's podcast so redirect me anywhere you want me to go but the I don't miss dressing for anybody else. I was terrible at it. I still like. so many looks, so many like weird ideas of what I should be wearing. There was like a dress phase, there was a tights phase, there was a boots phase, there was like different. I landed on makeup pretty early with like black eyeliner, pull lip. That's like all I need. I tried so many things. To look like a girl, but. Look like the right kind of girl. But not like that. And not like that either. And like in the last few years, especially since I work a literally working with my hands and myself like I have never been, my fashion is on point. Yes, this I am like living your high. Overalls, like my bandana is tactical. Like I you know, I have always enjoyed fashion with like utility in mind. I want it to look good and like. How be. Built to be worn. Yeah. And so there's this whole world of clothing where I'm like, if it doesn't have a cargo pocket on it, I don't need it. Like, I am not on stage right now. What is in the western where there's the thing that so the water washes off your shoulders. yeah. That little yes, it's like on a duster, but I can't remember the word for that little flap. But sometimes it should work. Shirt. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So good. Yeah, I could find a toddler Carhartt. Can I send it for me? yeah. She doesn't wear it. we man this dog I So I finally put a sweater on her. She it's really cold in the high desert and I put her out of the car. I put the sweater on in the car. I took the dog out of the car and I put the dog on the ground and the dog would not move. She would not pick up one leg. She was just stared at me like. Get this off of me. I tried her. She was younger. She'd give to it for a short time. But seven year old Major has no patience for them. Yeah, Yeah, she looks. Great in that red. The red and white check. She looks so good, but she wasn't having it. She'll never know it. But yeah, I. But it is a slippery slope when your dog does love a costume. yeah. You're spending money. I can. See myself. Dropping more cash on. I buy the dog Patagonia and Carhartt for myself. sure. My dog loved it and would change the way he walks. And then the thing, the stupid thing would fall asleep in. A constant like. A bumblebee. And you don't even know. And you just love, you know, make cute the high desert that makes me think of a coast to coast travels in across the country. yeah because. It would art Bella or drawing would be like from the high desert because. They are on the high desert. So that's super UFO territory. There's a couple other companies that do start tours in Joshua Tree, and we're not the ones that do the UFO tours. I don't want to come see my tour, look for the one that's not about UFO. Yeah, we can talk about UFOs if you want. Do you delve into it? I mean, I can, yes, sure. If the question is their life, is there life out there? yeah, sure. Yeah. I mean, astronomers talk about it now with some level of certainty that will have some answers to that question. Matthew McConaughey was wrong and contact Jodie Foster was so right. I feel like there's no intelligent life here. Yeah, That's why you're not stopped by Hollywood. Yeah. So the star Vega in the book Contact just. It's like just out of the sky. It's her time now. Where? Vegas. One of the summer stars. So in summertime when at the sunset when you look East Vegas, one of the three big bright stars you. See Vega Vega Seager. Okay, so this time of year, it's like when the sun sets. Vega is way over on the western horizon. You can barely see it, but Vega is where aliens were contacting us from In contact. Yes. So it comes up a lot when Carl Sagan wrote Contacts, the premise was like, It's absurd that Dr. Settler is so brilliant and yet spends her time looking for extraterrestrial life. That's just the way. What a way of. A science. Mind. And now there's nothing we do in space that doesn't have that search in mind, right? Like everything we're doing is wrapped up in that and sort of waiting for that discovery because two is just so much more than one in science. Yeah. So if we can. Find any other example anywhere in samples on Mars of life beginning billions of years ago, but not continuing like it changes the whole picture. But if there is if there are, let's say there definitely is life on other planets, who I think they wouldn't want us to know about it because look what we've done to this one. Yeah, that is how we've shit. Yeah, they know that. Think that's why they're like, keep it. Yeah. If you take. Them, if you make a map of where people in the United States see UFOs and you lay it over a map of U.S. military bases, you are looking at the same map. One. And that could be because U.S. military and I live in 29 Palms largest Marine base there. Yeah, it it. Marine military craft don't fly like airplane you're used to. So is it that you're just seeing military crafts and you're thinking it's UFOs likely is it that aliens are peeking at our military technology and being like, no, these apes are crazy. I'm not going to take that off the table? Yeah, yeah. My mom saw a UFO and she's just not a believer, you know? I mean, she now believes, but it was like she's not the kind of person who was just walking around, like, assuming there's life out there until she saw one on her way to work. Wow. Literally in daylight and was like, is that you? I mean, she doesn't sound like that, but like, she full on. It's like, God. What did she say? It looked like. She said it was just this like gray cylindrical thing. And there were other issues like that as a cloud. That is not a cloud. And then she said it just went. You know. Wow. And was gone. And then she turned left and went to work. Yeah. Hey, just feel like that's life, right? That that's exactly. It's so just like we are inevitable and unlikely. That's interesting and deeply insignificant. Like, we are just here. The idea that there's something else out there only is radical to us. I think it's not a it's not a big deal like life is just a chemical reaction. It's what happens when water gets to be like. It's just not that unlikely. Right. To us, it's a big deal, right? The fact that there would be a great cylindrical ship that can just disappear into the clouds is like. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah. I got to get to work, though. Have you seen the man who discovered he's dead? But the man who discovered Pluto? yeah. Which I believe was an accident. God, Turnbow, it's like Clyde Turnbow. Yeah. He's southern. Iowa. Is it. That. Yeah, you can correct me on the Internet. I feel like an Indiana guy. Somebody is going to be like, you're like. Going to take him away. But I saw a photo. He's just an old man with a BOLO time. He was fully a form dude. But there's math that said that Pluto should be there. 100%. Always discovered Neptune. I might again yell at me on the Internet. Neptune and Pluto are both the movement of the other planets. Says that there's something else pulling on them just past that. So they were discovered on paper before we saw them in the sky. Pluto's just tough to see. It's super far away from the sun. I forget the number of billions of miles, even though that is something I've known in the past. Boy, I'll look that up again and feel embarrassed. I can't remember it. But. It's just so far for light to reach. It's not. That great. So you'll probably know this. Of course, Pluto was degraded as a planet, but it's popular. So Pluto, what is a planet is a more rubbery definition than we might expect. We kind of want that to be nailed down. It's not if one of the things you kind of have to have, if you want to be a planet, is a clear orbit around your star. So when the Earth travels its little course around the sun, there's kind of nothing in our way. We're sort of made out of all the stuff that was in our direct orbit. The Pluto, on the other hand, is out in the Kuiper Belt, which is full of all this stuff that just like didn't keep going. The solar system started. There are objects out there that have been largely unchanged for billions of years. They just carted means Daniels comedy career. They just didn't. Finish. But they're in Pluto's orbit, so Pluto's got like an entourage that hang that is in the same orbit around the sun with you. And that is enough to be like planet status. It's like you brought. Too many. People. Yeah. Yeah. We really like you in the club. Yeah, your own club is already outside the club. Yeah. Yeah, it's. Crazy. It's way more complex than we thought it would be, though. There's, like, convection happening. You know, Surface is icy, but there's obviously heat coming from the core that's making stuff bubble underneath and creates all these, like, hexagonal shapes that connect. Pluto's like all those distant planets. I mean, they're distant from us, right? This is our neighborhood that is so close by and spacey terms. Yeah, but we didn't know Uranus was a looker. It looks good if. You thought you're in it. Saturn. Saturn's, our girl. Saturn is the one that's like. That's the. That's the king of the Uranus was just wait a few. Yeah. So cool rings. Told a tip. Yeah. For starting to get better at taking cool pictures and Pluto's also just like. And what about Venus? Overrated. I mean. Goddess of love. She's hot. It's a little. Vicious. Venus is interesting. Hotter than Mercury. Even though it's farther away from the sun. It's just wearing too much atmosphere. It's gassy. Gassy Business is hot. With the first craft to go to Venus were designed for a splash landing. We were like sci fi. Sure that it was like warm earth. Yeah. You're like, You're. Going to be like, tropical. We got to be ready. There's going to be cool bugs. And she's going to wear. It's going to be a real planet. Yeah, yeah. The Detras Yeah. I mean, it is kind of, you know, the origins of Venus and Aphrodite. I don't know if that's how you want to be made as a planet Glob of God. Come hits oceans, becomes planet. But no, it was not ready for a splash landing. Those craft lasted like, minutes. They were like the acid. Like ate them, right? Yeah. They just were instantly corroded. Yeah. All right. And Dr. Jill Love, right? Looks gorgeous. You get there and you're not sure you should have. Come, right? It's exactly like life, Dr. Gail. I wanted to know if I wore, like, tinfoil antenna, would I have a better choice? A better chance of of really connecting with an alien? I mean, you will have less of chance connecting with other people, and that really. Clears the way. Okay. Okay. That it does open up other channels. Yeah. Yeah, I. I What if I said it like, you know, tinfoil. Tinfoil antennae. Yes. The antenna. Yeah, that's my favorite. Like the dome. And yet I know that really well. I feel like that used to be like that. I'm Ken, by the way. I don't really like the. Way you said antenna was. How? How gay men accidentally outed themselves. And you know what I mean? If you ever pronounce the antenna, people looked at your wife in desperation, so. Right. Or you just have that peculiar, which is one of my favorite and I'm such a I go to the church of Anjelica Houston, but she has a peculiar way. She grew up. What's the place in Ireland? Kilkenny. She are like, What's it like? A landscape? Always. We go up in Dover, some shit like that. But she grew up there in the groves or something like the Danes or. What is that anyway? The bitch has an accent. Sure. And she says things like, How have you been? Be right. Have you. Thought. She was? I thought she was from. I thought she was from London. A like direct like grew up in Boston. She had a Gaffigan house somewhere in the Irish countryside. I had no. long time ago. But she says things like Renaissance, love it, right? And I'm like, my God. On Murder, she wrote, If you're a murder, she wrote Watch. Or like, I am a little drinking game for yourself is every time she says restaurant. I I'll say this Lucille Ball. Wow I Angela has a little restaurant thing going on. She's not going to give a hard consonant anywhere in that word. She started as a French maid in a movie, which was. no, I know. Now Angela Lansbury. Angela was a French maid. And I don't remember. I don't. Know. I don't either. I, I don't see we're. Hearing mindblowing facts about the universe, and then we're getting zero. Information. Know I'm bringing it down more. I am honestly more intrigued about the film debut of Angela Lansbury. What's she like? 1905? Yeah, yeah, yeah. no. She was beautiful. But the distance. She might never have been French either. She's definitely a maid and a. You know, the number of Brazilian miles that Pluto is away from us that you could remember is the exact amount of distance between Angela Lansbury eyes. I mean. That's right. Are you kidding me? That's why she's such an easy shot in the manger again. are you kidding me? Easy target. I mean, but she was gorgeous when she was. Yeah, that's a mean thing to say, but, you. Know, she has that aristocratic face. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that. You know, it's not fancy. And if it's coming from the stump, but yes, from a family tree, then it's just fine. It's very Clintonesque. do you know what I mean? Like Hillary sort of. Guess my eyes are pretty far apart. You know. That. That blue blood just pushes. Apart. And blue. I also owning a house on, like, a large land, expanses of fantasy of mine. do you want to talk? I want to talk. Mineral rights were. Going to come out. Can we? Do you think we could come out? Yeah, we could. We could tape. I would love to do that. Yeah. Do you have an actual. I had a friend in Austin, Texas, who owned his house and my favorite thing he was like, and he was, he was a prepper and I'm sure and he was old school conspiracy theory. So we have found and this sorry him go right back. But yes, those are our neighbors. Your politics, should you fall, follow them far enough, will lead you to the same place. Yeah. Left or right. If you go hard and far enough, you will both be unfenced compounds in the desert. Killing one another. Where? Yeah, that's the best way I've ever heard a villa pronounce. Yeah, it's called the Horseshoe Theory, and. I love it. There are horseshoes on our property. The horseshoe theory is the name of your next. Special got nailed. So that's how you can find friend. Someone with, like, a maga flag and a rainbow flag being right Neighbor. Neighbor. Yeah, Yeah. Saudi neighbor of the horseshoe. And so that's I was going to say it was like his. And we were not even political friends, but it was like one of those. Yeah. Honestly, he could have gone to either end of the Horseshoe and wound up there. But it was after we were having sort of a similar conversation just about getting away, getting our own property and just like being on your own. He goes, Can you keep a secret? And of course I can. So he moved his television and then he rolled the rug up that was under it and showed me where he'd been illegally mining under his arm. my. yes. Where there was a full on room with a TV and like. Lamplight and all that. So we actually. Found like gold or something. Well he had a, he had a man cave or whatever you want to call it, like a mining. I thought you meant like he was actually found. Like, you know, he was and spoon was like digging a shelter. what do you call it? A safer. Water? Yeah, like a bomb shelter type situation. And honestly, I've never been more nervous in my life. I was like, I want to be able to move some furniture aside and have, like, secret room crap. Yeah, but when you're in the country in, like, the end of the world happens, you just kind of stay, right? You just. You don't have to go anywhere. Yeah. I mean. Is that the end. Of the world? Doesn't come that far, does it? For people. No money. And yeah, it hasn't started yet. Yeah. I guess. If you have things to give up. It's like it's wherever 5gi. Don't, I mean, I have five acres with a zip code. I still get U.P.S. Amazon deliveries. I still have a mailbox 6 minutes away from the state or brother's like I am not, like, ready for it all to end. Yeah, and I don't fancy that I'm so important that I live in the era where everything truly will. Actually fall apart. But part of what COVID changed for me is just like, I don't have the same level of comfort with kind of the safety net for lack of a better term that are like that. We have a I just don't feeling safe is such a big umbrella term, but like I don't feel like there's as much to depend on as I'm traveling around. And it's so it's like the little things, right? It's like take it from what it feels like to get on an airplane to like what it feels like to leave that right. You get on an airplane, you're walking by people in minimum wage, terrible jobs. My dog's upset about this. I know. I mean, are you also feeling this pain? But your name. Nobody's happy to be there. You're, like, shoved in deeply uncomfortably. You get out with your deep vein thrombosis. You're in another airport where everybody's miserable to be there. You get in a car that nobody wants to be driving you in that hotel. Nobody wants to be checking you in there. You eat at a red robin. You know you're going to get food. Poisoning from. Like, it's strange, It's the system we have is strange socially and realistically. And I just was feeling like raw about it and being poor and life sucks. Like, that's a great place to be poor, and it's the worst place to be poor. And I delivered food here like, you know, it didn't work to like mansion. Like, yeah. To mansion. Literally. With people I had pitch meetings with. I've gone back to studios, auditioned in with food. No. I lift drove Comedy Central producing. my. God. And that's I mean that is not to like but it did. That is this whole bit. I drove by a billboard for the first show I work on, and I couldn't stop to take a picture because I had hot food in the car. But the joke on stage is a Lyft ride because that's the better joke. But the reality is like Somebody Ramen was stinking up my Honda Fit and I couldn't stop to take a picture. And like you couldn't get.$3, tip might get reduced or whatever, just the like that. You can live the dream, but you are wide awake the whole time. Yeah, I. Can tell you that's true for homesteading too. And I'm not a homesteader. That's a big term. I have a bandana on. How do you feel about chores? You know, I love I love if I'm not told to do it, I can now of enlist. Of course. I hold about a half ton of lumber before I came here this morning. I also used some deck screws to get a 4x4 onto a concrete post because I really want a new mailbox put up. I used a truck to pull down a shed. I Yeah, there's. The chores are. Endless. I don't even I can't. Yes, it's endless. I don't. Even dust. I like chores because I like an honest night's sleep. My like that I'm never bored. I'm end of that. Yeah. I have a purpose. I'm never bored. I work really hard. I learn things. I feel really satisfied and I'm a stand up every day. But you, you name. Something stand of is easy compared. To what you're doing. Before we took a break, you touched on something that I thought was really interesting, and it was like the feeling of the coffee times you like necessarily the feeling of security. My whole thing that I really did, my brain for a loop was I was like, I sort of thought when the shit hit the fan, there would be some element of like, we'll all get through. And when I realized it was, I couldn't have been more opposite of like not only every man for himself, but every man for himself. Lose your brains first, and then we all make our own radical decision. Yeah. And to me, I was like, Well, I don't really know how to move forward in a world where things are getting worse, right? And that reliability is shot right? Which is to me, that's why you get rural and you just start, like, growing shit. Yeah, You know, that was definitely like part of the plan, you know, like, let's leave the city and get more in touch with the land in, like, the general, like social consensus is like, Yeah, right. City mouse, like you can't do what you're doing and that's true. Like, we don't know what we're doing. Like, am I on a sustainable farm yet? No. Everything. I can die like this. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I did hear. About a garden is first your stall or first year stall? Second year crawls, third year sprawls. And I think that's. A pretty good like rule of thumb for your knowledge and development in pretty much anything. So yes, we're getting better at being sort of less reliant on the systems that feel more fragile around us. But no, we're not Can farmers we're a million miles away from doing that. We're at 3000 feet in the high desert. Like, I don't know, you know. My end times like plan now is I'm just going to become a fortune teller. Which segues into candle making. Yeah, right. Yes. Yes, right, right. I mean, my plan is a fence in a well, and I've got both of those. So I'm going to tie. To the fence and jump in the. Well, that's my plan to my life can plan. I'm kind of tipping my toe into the jewelry making phase of my career. Perfect. Yeah. Because it's a it's the trade of it all. I did. Make T-shirts and learn how to screenprint the last few years. Death toll of correctly. Yeah, I did. And penalties for Steph and a few other folks I mean the Astros were job kind of hot it up a bit and yet when I say we remodeled our house like I put a new floor so I put a new cabinets to put a new baseboards. And when I say I mean I did, I did. So I painted I hung drywall. I like replace the shower, replaced vanities, replace kitchen sinks, replaced washer dryers, replaced rotted subfloor replaced found like that. So amazing. It is an. Installation. It is All of those things seems gross and hard and you know. Like so when something goes wrong, there's no one to blame. And there's. No, you know, I don't know. How I do that. I've always had a landlord. I mean, part of rule living, part of why you DIY is like, who the fuck are you going to call? Like, how many people are you think is do you think there's like there's not a plumber for every situation. There just isn't like, you know, there's not a market for it and there's not the resources. And in the Joshua Tree area in particular, it is a really popular area for vacation homes and for rental properties. So if an investor has five or six properties in the area, why would a contractor who's good work with anyone else that one person has projects for them for a whole career? Yeah, Everybody good at their job is working. Yeah. So there's not a lot of people to call to come replace your outlets. Caitlin can use my outlets. Can you take the sink out while you're here? Yeah. I gear put it in and he's like, no, I'm not going to even deal with that ever again. I sanded and I re stained address her. Well done. And I thought I was like, Who wants me to build a rocket? Look how good I am. And it was also and I use the exam papers you are doing is like, really fine. But I. I felt like I could build you a house the next day, which is, I guess, how people ignorantly start. I don't know. It's trial and error. When you're done with your floors though. Everything it feels less mysterious. Like I used to sit on a toilet and go like, I wonder what's happening there. Where does it go? Now? I know exactly what's happening under there. Yeah, Yeah. Had to return a toilet to Home Depot. That's how deep in the life I am. Wow. Because the tank didn't match the base. It was like, previously I got, like, a You know what I mean? I just. I had stripes on the bottom, flat on top. And what do you do? That's a no, no. Bring it back to Home Depot and open the box. Explain. I swear I did crap in. I couldn't even put it. Together if I wanted. To. Whenever I see a. Toy, a long drive back to Home Depot. Whenever I see a toilet on the side of the road. You know what I mean? I just want to I curl up. Next I go, Tell me all your stories. I want to know everyone. Tell me everything. Know how amazing it is to know your way around Home Depot? I know my Home Depot. Like the back. My like the other Home Depot. I can zero in on whatever you need a drywall, you need a molly ball. You know. What are the is that. I'm what I go to. But how? One of the good ways to hang stuff on drywall. It sounds like ecstasy. Well, just reading an article. About bowling balls being trapped. Well, it's. I don't even know what you're talking about. I'm like, I've had to check out once. I heard something that sounded like Molly. Molly Ball, too. That's where. I mean. Molly bolts are a way to screw into drywall and hold objects that are heavier. Than a standard screw. Can accommodate. Yeah, I see. I'm into that, though. Yeah. It's like to learn. I have such. Firm opinions about screws now. Yeah, like really hard held beliefs that did not exist. Can you? So if you took something off, if you took a painting or anything off your wall, there are five holes under it. Like, I don't know. I made my fair. Share of. that's. In the wrong place. But it's the right screw in the wrong place. So I have evolved. There's a lot about my life where ignorance is true bliss. Sure. And as I say all the time, one of my biggest fears is structural failure of any interpretation. Yeah, but one of them is I don't want. It's like the wizard of Oz and all that kind of thing. I don't want to know how things are built because the minute I see something wonky, I'm going to run like, I don't I don't want to know the spine of a building. It. May I going to say the opposite is true. Once you actually understand the weight limit of like, you know. Two by eight. You can look at like I understand why my house stairs up on Joyce base 16 inches apart. I understand why the studs in my wall work at their spacing. I understand how my house is standing up. Yeah, I get how weight is distributed. Like, you know, I have a manufactured home sitting on a concrete block so I can crawl on concrete blocks. I can crawl all the way under it so I can actually work on and level the joists and stuff which I have done. I get it now. Yeah. Like it's not a mystery to me where the poo goes when I flush, like I know where the tube heads and I can fix it if I need to. my God. A very important thing I want everybody to know really fast is if you're if you're buying a home or even if you're going to rent and a home, particularly if it is a two story house or anything, is that you need to stand in the social areas, kitchen, living room, and you need to have that person go and flush each toilet. Yeah, make. Sure you can hear that. Hear it, because they don't live there anymore. But my poor parents, I could not. It broke my heart. Every Christmas. Thanksgiving, ours is downstairs. You're just sitting there having a lovely family moment and someone's like, Excuse me, I'll be right back. And then you hear and then you hear the flush and in the fucking Chicago and you just watch it across the. But you know what I mean? It's like you can basically see it. Vital mistake. It's a good. Thing to know about the bonds of your home. Yeah, I know the. You know, if a wall is load bearing, I don't even know if it means wood or the wall if a beam is load. And as. Long as. It's holding up the structure. So a beam. Yes. Yeah. I don't consider myself a load bearing person. Because I'm. Not that important. Like I could go any time I. Actually say. Make any damn difference. I mean, I was more load bearing in my twenties and thirties, but I just can't bottom anymore. At 42, I am a 42 year old lesbian. I just got my Subaru forester. I've never worn more load. And my full load bearing potential right now. See? Okay, here's the thing. Can we jump when you go? I am. Right in the sweet spot when I just got a Subaru before I need an. E-scooter. These are the prime years of a middle age lesbians like. That's so funny. I are. They're just like, getting a license to be a lesbian. You're just. E-scooter. Yeah. the new scooters that. Listen, graduated. That's your 25. You're in. My. It's like my mother's menopause Just head butted my puberty. Right. We're all right. And right when, like, I my friends were driving and would come over to the house, maybe unexpected. We also had a head on collision with the era where my dad had a sunhat kneepads and the knee scooter, and he would just be with some shovels, gardening when all your new popular friends are coming over. Not touching your face. No. And he looks like a Linda Evangelista, for crying out loud. No, but I. Working with your hands is so satisfying. It really is. And learning that stuff. I did not know how to do any of that. You can learn. You can learn how to do stuff. That's been the last few years for like, you know what? I can't even touch for what I miss about stand up. I've gained a ton. You can learn stuff. Yeah. I like to garden at night. Cool gear against Full Moon right now. Go learn. Yeah, because. Gear and gear Because I'm not awake during the day. And Garrett likes to drive by if I'm in my pajamas or whatever. Whatever about doing in the middle of the night. And he'll say, Is there anyone I can call? It's true, though. I got what time? I'm going to check. If I got where you are. I got to I am email from you, which is typical. I texted you. 1030 when I left and as soon as I did it I was like, What. Are you going? That's 31. I realize I'm the California has a new state and or one of many state animals, which is a pallid bat. Okay, Which is a white bat. And that's me. That's white man. I think so. You think you look like a bat? Yeah, I look like a bat. It's a very it's got a little piggy face. I think it's adorable, but I wouldn't say I'm that cute, but a pallid bat as a white. Bat, I look like a not a full on look. I know. Yeah I do. I had a shirt that said Save America's Horses with a picture of horses. And. But you couldn't tell the difference if I guess because you couldn't. It was the same. But we all look like an animal. I'd rather look like mine. I know that. I look in the rodent category and already. Yeah, I got, like, hamster meets rat face. You guys are nuts. You wait till you see the pallid bat. It was. I guess I don't look exactly like it, but. But I have the same characteristics. You have the same vocal range? Yeah. Pale. Can't get any color. No matter what we do, no matter how much blood we suck, we can't know. But I was in there, so I've been to Alaska. My friend always worked up there and that was like a place to disappear and things like that. But you see, and it was in the summer still or the end. So it wasn't perpetual sunlight. The sun does set for a minute and then it comes right back out. But even in that, whatever kind of dusk, twilight thing you see shooting stars. Yeah. All the time. yeah. Because he also had no indoor anything, so he had to take a passenger outside. Yeah. So at all those moments, which was somewhat embarrassing, you're still seeing this like crazy stellar display that's happening. All it's. There's always stuff smacking into our atmosphere, happening all the time. What was the thing Elon Musk committed to? He wanted to have so many stars. What's this thing? StarLink yeah. I see the launches. Were he crazy? He committed. To having some insane number like 5010, that it was somewhere in the thousands of satellites he wants to put up. There. There are thousands of satellites up there and there are hundreds of pieces of space junk. And it won't be so long until we have millions of pieces of space junk and no satellites with be. I don't know. The most optimistic thing I can say about space junk is that the people who are going to fix that are studying to do so right now and they're going to have crazy, cool careers. Yeah, it's. A problem we made. We can fix that problem. But yeah, Elon throwing up thousands of satellites for like a communication network that might work I guess is a lot. I like the thought of that too, because I like to. I like to always like, look at junkyards and thriftiness after. I'd like to look for junk in space. In space. Alistair's first satellites are still out there and they look like mod furniture from the fifties, just like silver balls with sticks coming out. So cool, right? The Voyager craft? Yeah. Which are still going on. That's the only thing that we've made that left our solar system. Yeah, that actually left. But they put the sounds of Earth on a record. Yeah. It's like I forget what it's actually made of. It's gold. So it's a goal. It's the golden record because gold has a very slow rate of decay. So if Voyager takes a really long time to get through space, the record will still be fine. And there is a cool illustration. There's a little stylus like a record, though charmingly dated. It's a great method for sending out. All you got to do is spin it with a needle on it. And if you are something that can hear, you know, the concept of spinning is universal to space. So that helps, you know, everywhere. It's not a vacuum their sound. So we're on a good track. Had we done it in the nineties and sent a CD, I'm not sure it would have translated, but there is something kind of beautifully practical about a record. But yeah, the Golden Record has a bunch of sound. You can listen to it. It's a really good compilation. Yeah, Yeah. It's both on YouTube and I want to say Spotify, the whole golden record and there's music from all over. There's all kinds of things from all over the world. Yes, it is a good listen, I'm. Enamored with that. What's your. Favorite? I love. Voyager, my favorite planet, Jupiter. Why Jupiter? And so the thing to Google for better scientific information that I will yell about right, is the grand tack theory. But Jupiter formed first closest to the sun, ate up a bunch of sun leftovers. That's what planets are made of. Star leftovers, which was more sciencey than that. It's not Jupiter Eating up a bunch of the food in this neighborhood is part of why the earth is the size it is, and the earth sized super helps us out. It helps biology thrive here. When we look at other stars with other planets, almost every star has planets. We see other rocky worlds, but they're big, too big to host life as we know it for a bunch of complex reasons. So the Earth being the size it is super helps us out in Jupiter. Influence the size we might end up being just by gobbling up a bunch of material here. Jupiter moved after Saturn's formation less sciency than the actual explanation, but that's kind of the timeline. Saturn formed just past the ice line. It got big fast and it pulled Jupiter through the inner worlds to where it sits now. So Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars were all influenced by that movement. But what models say about what happened to Earth is crazy. So as mean Jupiter moves. I know it's exciting. Major it off gas. A bunch of stuff came off of Jupiter. One thing that came off in abundance was water. Water vapor. Earth passed through that vapor. We drink it. We couldn't understand how we got liquid water until we modeled that out. Yeah. So Jupiter gave us water. It's kind of marauding through this corner of space. Messed up the orbit of another planet called their. Yes. They wound up coming right toward the earth, Collided with the earth. As someone explained it, as though they collide, but they more move through each. Other. Yeah, it's like a sidelong collision. Yeah. So it hit on the side and that was enough of an impact because there was ten tons, 1/10 the size of the earth. They had just got obliterated and about a third of the earth came rippling off, just was sure enough. But in space, right. Debris doesn't go flying away. Gravity keeps it there and cleaned it up innumerable. So it. Was. I know, Major. It's very exciting. It was the movement of Jupiter that gave us water and the moon. And those two things are pretty key to our biology. Plus, Jupiter has a ton of moons like 87. Yeah. I. those are so Ganymede. Callisto IO and Europa are the four really close to Jupiter. So we can. See through Europa has the ocean, IO has the volcanoes. Okay, so we can see those through telescopes, but there are a bunch of other ones that are space potatoes, they're not even rounded out and they're just stuff that was flying by. They got caught in Jupiter's gravity. Yeah, but when Jupiter misses objects coming in toward the inner worlds, it can collide with us. It sucks as the dinosaurs. Yeah. Jupiter, like, manages to corral these objects that could change the destiny of planets in the inner worlds just with its gravity. So it's got, like, strong Big Brother energy, and it's like, you know, it gave us, like, a little leg up with all that water, and it stops like little bullies from messing with us. So there's like, kind of no earth as we know it without Jupiter. Ah, if you want to feel connected to space, I feel like we're connected to something bigger. I feel like storylines like that really do the trick for me. That's and there's so learning that about the grand tack scientifically scratches and everything, it's very cool. But then I remember the messiness. Right. The myth of how humans came to life. To the Greeks. Zeus asked Prometheus to make them small dollies that came to life. Prometheus does make some cool figures. Prometheus does is cool. If You want him to dance and boogie? We need some of your life essence. We need to bring them to life with you. We're going to bring them to life with spit, with water from zoos, water from Jupiter brought humans to life thousands of years later. Whatever the time we figure out it was water from Jupiter that brought us to life, the myth was right. I already knew. That one close, my left one folded my brain a. Little bit like. An alien. Yeah. Isn't that weird? Somebody got a message. Somebody got a note? Yeah. And Jupiter. Galileo looked at Jupiter and saw those four moons and realized, like, Wait, that thing's close. And like, us and the stars are different and far away. Can we talk about when we nuked Jupiter? Because it was that? Was it Cassini spacecraft that we. It was there was observing the moon. I'm sorry. That was me hitting the microphone, if you just heard my chest. So it was around Saturn, right. And Juno's around Jupiter. Yeah. Okay. So but it was the spacecraft was observing one of the moons. yeah. And they didn't want to nuke the moon. The plutonium. Right, right, right. So they opted to let it down. The body of the planet, right? Yeah. If we had X so we didn't know that we would encounter a world like Europa when we sent Juno out to Jupiter. And should there be anything on Europa that we'd want to discover later, we would egg on our face, right? If we land. A craft that has life from Earth on it, and then we go back and. Discover those are, you. Know, Yeah, yeah. So the safest thing to do for the craft to preserve what could be there on Europa was sent into Jupiter, which as you know, as we measure life, it can't exist there. So okay, but really fast as measure life. So if we're looking for life, we got to look for what we can measure. Measures, biology. Okay, but this is so theoretical. Hypothetical. But as we measure life, which I think is important how do we not know that there's not like a gas god, Why not? I actually fully if your planet doesn't have a ton of gravity went up. B Smart clouds, right? The planet has too much gravity. Why would you have limbs? Why wouldn't you just be a smart puddle? There are all kinds of forms life could take. Yeah, but. We can't look for the fiction. Right? We believe it. I believe it's there. I think scientists who are excited about space don't limit the idea of what life could be to just biology. Right. But we have to look for what we can observe and measure, and we don't know if there's clouds or puddles. We know that if you put water with a bunch of complex stuff in, it's something that breathes air and is made of carbon might pop out. One of the most inspiring but sometimes disappointing things is like, you know, Judge Judy just wants the cold, hard facts. She doesn't want the fantasy. She doesn't need the back story. No, no, man. Just really needs to know what happened when and why. Yeah, not even the why. Yeah, but that. Yeah, I do find that because it's like I love the universe so much, but I also am like at the end of Dark Crystal where they merge and they are just these vapors. I'm like, that also makes sense. Yeah. Like somewhere. I feel. Like Star Trek does a pretty good job of that. And I'm a trek. I'm a Trekkie. Yeah, I'm a next generation girl. Picard, my captain. Yeah. I want to get. That's the next, like, thing I want to get into in life. man. In Star Trek, it's so warm. It's a really generous fan, and it feels good. It's a warm embrace. Have you seen things to come? Who have it? Ancient old movies. Yeah. Yeah, It's from the thirties. Yeah. You gotta watch it. It's so fun. And it's. Of course, it's in the future, which is like 20, 36. Yeah, but it's beautiful and it kind of show it's war and space travel and all this stuff, but yeah, it's. Like, yeah, 50. 60 sci fi is like my. Favorite. This is rolling back. The clock to good sci fi. It was legit from the 30 seconds as an early because I think H.G. Wells was still alive to work on the war after something like that. I might be wrong about that part, but no, it's really like it tries to tell how you tell the whole story. You end up right back at the beginning. Yes, Such as? Like that's create. Well, so that's creation. The stars, right? Stars are made of gas crushed by gravity, just like their gravity pushes so hard on the gas. The gas, it pushes atoms of gas together. Atoms fuze tonic fusion that releases a proton. We experience that as light and heat. But what's left behind is new helium or two hydrogen atoms smash them, release proton. You get helium, stars make elements. They run all the way up the periodic table. It gets sloppy and cool from there. But our ingredients are made in star, where we're truly made of star stuff. So stars create the stuff, but they don't live forever, so they cook up a bunch of cool stuff, collapse or explode, or whichever way they're going to go. If they're not too so big, they become a black hole. They'll leave behind a cool nebula. They'll leave behind all the stuff they created. Yeah, that dissipates, cools and is formed into the next generation of stars and planets. So space keeps getting more complex in this age of stars, because stars create the complexity. It's a long timeline. The age of stars isn't permanent. It's not the inherent state of the universe. We're kind of in a firework show that we get to see a cool part of. But is there a moment in the life of a star? And I think it's in the death where there's a huge expansion explosion, but then doesn't it shrink back down really small for like, for like a millisecond. Right. Is that the red star or the low? It is. But I mean, small, yes. To all of those things. Different red stars are almost done. The next they've expanded. That's why they look red. The same amount of fusion is occurring, but it's a larger area to make. Hot blue stars are hot like the flame on your stove. Red stars are literally cooler like the flame on a candle So if a star is big and red, it used to be smaller and blue. It just has the same amount of fusion occurring in a larger star. The next thing that star will do, if it's a big one like Beetlejuice and Orion, if you look after Sunset right now, you'll definitely see it kind of wherever you are. Beetlejuice is a conker. You're just say one a Beetlejuice. Right? So then it'll. Appear in your sky. But that's the next thing that stars going to do is go supernova. If you're large enough has a star when you collapse, there is a corresponding explosion. Yeah, because the collapse is so intense, it just kaboom is out. Stars smaller than that, don't it go out with such a bang. But they do leave a cloud behind and we can see those clouds. So like the ring nebula, the dumbbell nebula are Reed. Yeah, yeah. These are clouds left behind by stars. Yeah. If a star is really big, like ten times the size of our sun or more when it's done, being a star doesn't explode. It collapses so entirely all its mass collapses down to a point funnier than an atom. I don't understand black holes, but luckily nobody does. have you seen. sorry. I think we have to. We have to wrap up. Okay. I want to find out. Caitlin, where can people see you stand up from? Watch your. stand. Also, the stuff you're doing now. Stand up from before is still available everywhere online. Look for the other major named after my beautiful dog. She's on the cover. I still love it. Well, give a listen whenever you like. And if you're in the Joshua Tree area, come check out a tour with Skywatcher. Two telescopes, 2 hours, Milky Way, lots of cool stuff. And the brilliant Caitlin Gill. Knowing you astrophysical Dr. Caitlin complete. Yes. Amazing to have you. Thank you. Thank you. It's just such a pleasure to see you. Really. I miss you so much. Thanks for. The. Work in Hanging. Out in the Desert. Yeah. Come to an episode. Yeah, would be fine. Just please, Please. In the. Stars, we will. Finally. It's just getting ready to invite people to. I had to pull out the piss floors. I had to get rid of the gross cabinets. Now the terror sheds are coming down and it's going to be. Well, listen, the pictures are coming back. Yeah, we got the tarp. Thank you, Karen. Go. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, that was great. Thank so. Much. Kisses.