"Queen's of the Moon" with Amy Miller

We sit down with our good friend, comedian Amy Miller to discuss getting passed at The Comedy Store, meeting Dolly Parton, Amy's boyfriend's "Great Ass!", Queen's of the Moon, crashing Hawaiian resort chairs, indifference, a stranger's finger in your food, Roseanne, we're all Darlene, Lucille Ball's 'Cross Up', Amy's time on The Last Comic Standing, Loretta Lynn's shitty art work, Morrisey's a dick, meeting your heroes and being kind to fans, Amy's Tour dates and the smell of glue.

Insta:
@amymillercomedy

Website:
amymillercomedy.com

WWTWH YouTube Channel

Laura Kightlinger
Twitter: @KingKightlinger
Insta: @laurakightlingerlives
Web: laurakightlinger.com

Daniel Webb
Twitter: @thedanielwebb
Insta: @the_danielwebb
Web: thedanielwebb.com

Transcript

0:08

Hi. Welcome. Hey, welcome. I'm Daniel. I'm Laura Kightlinger. And today we have a good friend and a really funny. We are so lucky. We're blessed. We're just blessed. Saying really very funny. And you can see there's special effects. Unprotected sex. but my favorite credit, which I think is such a badge of honor, is just the recently passed out the Comedy Store. Fantastic. And you're going to be there tonight right now. That's awesome. And that's not easy, that place. So that's. Great. But Amy Miller. Amy Miller. Yay! Amy. You can find my name in the parking lot down by the ground. Yeah, I especially. It's so funny. I wish we would replace some names. Yeah. Ah, yeah, yeah, I'm. I'm on there, but I would like to be. How are you? I'm just not. I don't know, because I'm part of the pavement. Maybe a venue too long, right? Over time. I don't know that they do. Yeah, but then when they built, they expanded the bar on the patio. They just, like, cut into Bob Sack. It's names. It just says Bob saw. you could. He deserves to be moved. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree. Yeah. Pick a rapist and take it out. And at some theater, I came, I think it was in, like, Huntington, New York, with larger and backstage. The clearly, everything had just been repainted. But the frame of the door, the paint stopped, and where it stopped was sign and real old lady handwriting. Carol Channing. that's pretty amazing. Also, like, is that like some old queen, like, pranking us who did it? But. Ah, was so old looking, right, that we couldn't believe it. Yeah, well, apparently the the the person who painted the candy store names and died. So now they have, like, I don't know, a few other people, but the last round, you know, our friend stuff going on and the names were too big. shut up. Like the new person really just went wild. It's. It's just such a funny tradition. And plus. It's not your actual signature, which. Right. Yeah, that's right. I mean, you couldn't read it. My would just be like a triangle and. And. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. We were just like. it's like when someone you have to replace something that's like a legacy. I feel the same. Like on The Price Is Right when Rod Roddy died, not even Bob. Yeah, the announcer guy. And now it's just some, like, spunky, clean dude who sounds like he should be announcing, like, the flight at Burbank. he's, like, too glossy. Yeah, he was incredible. It's funny when people look like they're an announcer. yeah. Have their face. Yeah. Now, something like radio. And that's what drives me nuts. Like, even like writing on some TV shows when people when the characters don't look like the name, like I want I wanted to like a lot of the pilots that I worked on that didn't go anywhere. I, I, well, I remember her last name is Sullivan and she was on MADtv and I'm blanking it. Nicole Thank you. Boy, it's weird how my subconscious has a way of sounding like my husband. Yeah. Nicole Sullivan's character was something like Tiffany or Marg or something. Just didn't look like her. And I said, It has to be Bonnie. And then it was. And she looks like a Bonnie to me, her character. Yeah, but I don't know. It's almost like I can't look at dog shelters online is because they pick all the wrong names. I know one. Of them was there. Right. Well, can you or does that also up the dog? I know if it's you. All on her name. And then they're on people are so uncreative. Like if the dog has one blue eye and one brown either always call them Bowie, which I don't. Like. I should be called like, schizo or anything. Yeah, or. Or Diane Lane or don't even mention it. I am is a great name. I think so too. You know, I've got to Amy, have a little bit of a pet peeve with her. A little issue with her, no pun intended, that we were at a party, and I was, you know, you know, a few sheets in the wind that probably goes without saying. But I, I auditioned for this movie with her three times, and I remember she was so nice to me and said, you're like your brother for fresh air. And we were laughing, you know? And so I, I went up to her at this point and said, you, you know, I how I want her to remember me. But I said, Well, I'm Laura. You might, you might remember me from. And she said, No, I don't, but I remember you. And flirting Lee to my husband, Garrett and you. Good. But I remember you, you know, seeing that I was no competition clearly. And then and Garrett said no. And she goes, But didn't you work on the. And he goes, No. And I was like, All right, just go ahead and go off with Diane Lane only. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. You don't remember me, but. You're. You remembered somebody that you've never met, Okay. Have you? We just celebrated the fact that my boyfriend saw Dolly Parton somewhere in the street, say, you. I can't. I sort of felt something weird in the air. that's right. I woke up before noon. Something was on. As someone who's seen. Like, Angelina with regularity. Yeah. But I realize that is a miracle. Every time I see her, I feel like a dolly sighting in the wild is. That's pretty. That's a rare thing, right? Very rare. Yeah. my God. So many places. You're huge Dolly fan. I was shocked at how I saw her in the air. I saw Dolly in the airport with. With her, all of her guards and stuff around her. It's shocking. She is beautiful. She is tiny as hell. And she had heels. I think like she always wears high heels, but she can't be over five feet tall. yeah. I've had my hand around her waist. Yeah. And I really just felt like I was going to break her. lady way just. She is so, so tiny. Yeah. In the vault of the Rock Roll Hall of Fame. And do the tour, and they open a closet and you see, like, ten. And there she is. You know. It's one of these article. They're like Jimi Hendrix, and they show you the photo of like, my God and everything. It was Elvis's army outfit. man. Yeah. But Dolly had several things because their exhibit had just closed. So there's like three mannequins with a straight talk. The the what do you call that? Pinball machine? That yellow. Dress. Yeah. it is. Anyway, but her mannequins, she sent them because she has mannequins that are her tiny man. Yeah. my God. But her shoes were lined up and her shoes are. It's like this month. It's like her. Shoe is like a five or a four. Now. Even she's. yeah. What does she like in person? she was very sweet. Yeah of course. But you know, it was a meet and greet. It's like what's she going to do? But she's very good at managing people's nerves and just like, you know, because no one wants to, like, approach you when it's your turn. yeah. I met her in Hollywood, Florida. Yeah, I know her tour manager for a while. And so I was like, you know, I want to do the meet and greet, go to a show. And she was like, and it's like $2,000. So I'm like, wow, I'm not I know. I don't have any, like, star struck. Goodness. Like, there's never been really anybody I wanted to meet. and Paul Reubens. And it's to it but I, I'm like, I'm not paying for that. Yeah. And she was like, well, if you don't go in L.A., like, pick another city. like, I can just get you in. So I was like, Hell yeah. So I flew to Florida, Like Thanksgiving week 2016 and. Yeah, and then saw the show, sat next to Clive Davis for some reason. Wow. Yeah, I saw just like, in, like, lime green suited up. Like he looked amazing. I'm like, I don't know what you're doing here. Maybe he lives in Boca. How could you have a place in Boca? Yeah. Yeah. Miami is pretty popular, too. It's. You sat next to Clive Davis. I know. It was an incredible show. And, yeah, it was just. She was just so sweet. But I didn't, you know, I had all these things. I was going to say, and then I was just. I'm a complete mute. Ha! But she. I told you this, but she grabbed my ex's. But yeah. not with kids. She's old fashioned country. Yeah. She like. And your ex. Got a little scoop and he when he came out, I mean angry, he was just like, how was it? And I'm like, I was just so nervous. I didn't know. What do you say? I'm just like, Thanks for everything, you know? And he was just trying to check in with me. And then he goes, Well, she grabbed my butt. lad. With that, I lost her daughter. Wow. That photo of them, like, he's very, like, wide eyed and. it's like the Taylor Swift situation with the radio hosts. Like, you can see, like, she's taken a grab. Yeah, but it's like, how did I meet you and what are you going to get mad, you know? Yeah. Hollywood, Florida. I can never not think of it is where and Nicole Smith died. Who is a Texas, right. I'm from Texas. I believe the Hard Rock Hotel. Yeah, I think so. But in her like autopsy, which I've, of course, read, they. Have. Then or. I don't. Know. Can you can you see the contents of her stomach when you. they tell you everything. Okay. I'm just. And the whole room is like the TV really loud. Shades drawn. All the lights off and the A.C., as in really cold. And that sounds like a weird way to go, right? That's okay. But it was in a hotel room. Yeah. That always makes it sad. I mean, I guess unless it's a really nice hotel, but still, it's no matter what, you know, it sounds sad when you read that. Someone has to clean it up. No, but just that makes it sound like this person's alone. They're depressed. They're in a hotel. good. Yeah. Same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is what I love about. Well, it's different scenario because it's suicide, but it's. I love about Chris Cornell. I like left a no. Just say like, don't come in, call the police. He was like thinking of the housekeeper is very. yeah, that is nice. That's in Detroit. And he was in a very fancy hotel, right? MGM Yeah, because we drove past it and Chris Cornell. but still, it's in Vegas. No, no, no. In Detroit. the MGM In Detroit? Yeah. I didn't know them even fancier. well, maybe that's. Maybe I have to rethink it. We drove past it, and one of the reason the car signaled to us that it was evacuated is. yeah, it's room 1136. your brain is just terrifying. But the Whitney room at the Beverly Hilton is unavailable. That's good. She'll be available. No, I mean. Some creepy ghost hunters. Do you stay in there? Yeah. Cable in. Whitney's room. I agree with. You know, I always feel like a hotel would be safe. I've had a couple of that small that seem like it's happening. no. Yeah, there was, like, a while. I just had, like, I think, migraines that just like, an intense head pain when I was on the road and I was in Alameda, the Bay Area in like a Holiday Inn or whatever, and I was like, I won't have an aneurysm probably. And then I'll find me and I'm not at a Holiday Inn. Boy, this is gold. You know this. I don't know if you haven't. I mean, how can I not step in this now? You're always. I. Know, Daniel, tease me because I did have a brain aneurysm in 2020, and. I'm lucky I wasn't in a hotel room by myself because I would have died. I was here with my husband, and he took me to the emergency, and I had brain surgery, and I, I and I believe I lived. Unless this is some weird purgatory. No idea. That's so scary. Yeah, Yeah, I'm afraid. But I have to, Amy. To be alone. Yeah, but. I mean, you have to. I When this is over, I'm going to give you my. The neurologist and all that stuff. Because if you even if you're not having migraines anymore, you need to get checked out. I know. And I do have nerve issues. gosh. Yeah. Yeah. cause you might need to be on some kind of medication that you don't even know about. That's even even something mild like after having brain surgery, all they wanted me to do is take two baby aspirin a day. And then one other thing. But I was and I could go back to my own antidepressants, but. It's like I'm not going to. Yeah, that makes me high. Yeah. Yeah. But they gave me, like, gabapentin, which is like a dog medication. Really? really? I want to name my. Next dog just for, like, nerve pain, but it's like, Yeah, I don't. It just so I'm like, I want to get to the root of what's going on. Yeah, like a very easy to prescribe medication. I think I'm going to take this. Do you get it at your temple? Where do you get the bad, bad headaches in right in front. Of back left, which it's been a long time. I also found out in other ways that I just have like nerve damage. I have like back issue and shit. Okay. I worked with this too. She had no personality to begin with. She was a nice person, but he was a mellow old thing that you could not like tried. And he had, you know, he had a he hit a nerve thing happening that causes incredible pain in his. He would drink like a what's the big thing of beer like an 18 pack. He kill 19 pack every day. my God. I'm like that kind of shit. Case. Every day. But then to to fix the nerve thing. They prescribed him methadone, which I was like, The dude already has no personality. shit. Further reduce this guy. my God. Yeah. Watching a full grown adult just walk into a wall. I'm very like. I just don't trust. I trust doctors. I don't trust just sort of the willy nilly, like, prescribing of whatever. Like, this is probably what it is. Yeah. I take that. I'm like, I'm not going to go. Yeah, and I did and I did for like about a week. And I actually was sleeping very well. So I was like, Ooh, I love pharmaceuticals. Yeah, yeah. But I had something on stage where and this never happens where I just literally, like, forgot the end of a joke. I'm sure it's going to start to happen more and more. Just not time. Yeah, Yeah. But then I went on, like, read it where I find all my information. Ha. Read about like Gabapentin side effects and all these people were like, I just keep forgetting I'm clumsy and I'm like, well, this is my job. So I'm not like, I can't risk that Gabapentin. Yeah, they do give it to, like, old dogs to go to sleep. shit. No, just to mellow out. Yeah. Like, you know. Yeah. Fireworks or whatever. Yeah. So you are a up all night. You're a night owl. Is. Yours for lack of sleep or lack of or inability sleeping. Yeah. Please do. No, I don't know what the hell it is. I've decided that I'm the the state, the new state animal, which is the pallid bat, which is, like I was saying, like, I can't get a color in my face unless it's a rash. And this bat is purely like a white. Bat. And it's, you know, sleep all day and then up all night. But yeah, I don't know. I think I've always been that way. I've always been that way. Like my mom was saying, like when she tried to get me up in the morning preschool that she'd like, have to shake me. And then I and then I remembered there was a baby. And I know. Yeah, please. I know, I know. And I. I was, I remember like, being. I remember being, like, a teenager. I was probably like, you know, 13 or 14, and she was like, trying to get me up and I pretended I was having a dream so that I can punch her in the face or like, I slapped her in the face. Yeah. You are naturally nocturnal. Yeah. Yeah. You sleep usually better. yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't always do because of life. So, like school, college, working. You know, I was a teacher for some time. man, I was tired all the time. Now, this. Is the perfect job. Job? Yeah. Yeah. Stumbled into a good job for us. Yeah, but I've finally gotten rid of, like, the guilt about it. I'm like, if I had a writing job or somewhere I need to be, I will be there. Yeah, Yeah. Corporate jobs and non profit, everything for years. Yeah, I was tired. Yeah, but if I don't have to get up for something, I'm just not going to. Yeah. Sleep to live. And it's funny. People do make you feel. are you up? No. And you've known me for 30 years, you know I'm not up because I go to bed at 4 a.m. and so don't call me at 10 a.m. or 9 a.m.. Yeah, I'm always. Like a four to noon. Yeah. Yeah. Schedule sucks when you go east. Yeah. Yeah. You're like 3 p.m.. Yeah. Okay. Dad was a hardcore like, PBS person. Also, the only music everyone's into is opera. Don't even ask me what it is. But there's an opera where there's a like a queen of. Them. Comes out and has this long, drab, sad song where she's really pale. Like, come out at night and that made me gay also. And I'm like. Maybe I'm a queen of the moon. It made me romanticize. I like that. Made of marble. And like, I was in Beijing in 2016. Beijing hard. Beijing, Beijing. Sorry. Yeah, I've been saying they. I feel like. A little song after. It was really weird. I was in Beijing. Beijing? How come? Look, both of you. I was there. Let me pronounce it how I want. And I had no jet lag. And I realized it wasn't like I'm getting jetlag. Yeah, Yeah. But I think. I think it was because. You were on your show. Yes. I got to go to Beijing. Yes. On really? Eastern time. Yeah. I mean, maybe it would be the same anyway. Like, I feel like even in, you know, going to London anywhere, I'm just like, I'm not supposed to be here in the United States or, I. Don't know, West Coast time and Hawaii time. You better like, let the rest of the world. That works well for me because then I am kind of getting up in the morning. Yeah, Yeah, perfect. You were just in Hawaii. Did you do stand up year? They came. No, just vacation for my birthday. one was your birthday. New Year's Eve. Happy birthday to you. well, we ate like some of the best food. Did you have, like, a marley thought out as you all that shit or it's no puff? No, no, let's not that smell like flaky. Almost frozen. Gone. no. Ooh, Sounds good. From a lot. Too much custard. And then I should send out a sugar. I thought. That sounds good. Yeah, we have, like, a lot of sushi, which is very good Izakaya place. And I just ate, like, so much spam. This would be from 7-Eleven. Yeah. Yeah. no. Where exactly were you? In Hawaii. nice. A quick little last minute trip, and it was so nice. We were just hopping like beach chairs that weren't rs we didn't pay for. Yeah, And then I couldn't. It's so funny because, like most people, normal people are just like, hey, these are our chairs. And you're like, Miami, dude. Like, oops. And then you move. But one lady was so mad that I started laughing. Ha ha. She was with her teenage daughter, was mortified. Yes. And I was just like, wait, are you are you serious right now? Like, you're really upset? And she was like, Who does this? Like, she called us like, savages was like. my God. And then why are you just like, we're moving. Like, I like, I can't believe you live your life this way. Yeah. Getting progressively mad or how funny I thought it was. And then she goes, and you sat on her towels, and I was like, I'm pretty sure they'll give you a new towels because you paid $100 genuinely upset that you got got. And we didn't pay because you don't actually have to because they're not going to throw us in jail for sitting on that chair. Yeah, yeah. Our towels. And my boyfriend was like, Yeah, like I put my ass all over. I And this furious woman goes, Yeah, that delicious. that was like Erin, Only you would be complimented. Wow. This anger a major. Wow. Yeah. She just said you are delicious. I am sure does. Wow. First the comment. That shit I like, no matter how mad people are and they're never actually math like that always happens. Jeez. yeah, of course. So whenever I Yeah. I know me when. Like an irate customer I just sat and watched. I love if someone wanted to bitch about fill in the blank whatever was going wrong. Like these are black olives, green olives is. They say that the greatest insult is indifference above the shit out of people. If you just don't react, that's there. That's how much you can really hurt people by going, Yeah, they want to. Fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll keep pushing it too. I felt so much for her daughter, so I was like, I bet you've been through this. And yeah, I was also like, Sorry, that's your mom. she probably just embarrasses her everywhere. I was in a band and his girlfriend was kind of psycho, but whatever one of the bandmates. But she would come in real handy sometimes and it was fun and we're trying to just get out on the road. But we blocked the crosswalk and this lady just for she and her family, she just stop everything. You ran the crosswalk and so we it's like inches, right? Yeah. And meanwhile, her kids are just mortified, right? Yeah. So she just sits there and waits. We back up and then she continues, They're like, Nobody should be in a crowd or walking. my God, Sometimes you can't back up. I've done that. And I was like, shit, I am kind of far out. And then there's somebody right up your ass. Yeah. Just blindly into traffic. Like, What do you want, bitch? But so we're just all sitting in silence. And then as the family passes by, forget the girlfriend goes. Your mom's a con. Are. And I was like, that were right. I've done that kind of a lot. Like, like there's, like a, there's a smart and final remix in my house where they haven't put like a speedbump or a stop by or anything coming out of. You didn't tell me she was all about name dropping, but go on, go on. Which and stuff and go. That's I. Intercut. It's just, you know, people just like come out of there onto the sidewalk, like at 40 miles an hour. Yeah. It's not final. You better do something. Do better? Yeah. We'll be writing a letter. Laura. Yes, please. I'll take the blame. It's probably me. A dad with, like, a nine year old son in a convertible, and I've almost been hit there. A trillion, so I'm aware of it. But he just, like, jet it out and then, you know, was like, slamming on the brakes. And I was like, Don't drive like you're a piece of shit, Dad. And I don't talk to my son. you're hit me with your car. Yeah. Do whatever I want. Yeah, I'm out. And then I just fell over. my kid was just like, Okay, you what? I'm trying to get into where. You're, like, out of the elementary school. And my sister graduated the junior high, so I was picked at first, and we wait outside the junior high away from the school, but that it was under the tree. We're like the bad kids. no. The one day. And it was one of those where I'm in the passenger seat of the white wood paneled minivan. And my mom, she sees these kids smoking and she's they're they're right there. I'm in the middle. So my mom rolls the window down and she has you need to quit smoking. And the 14 year all goes, you. Excuse me. that was going to happen. And sure enough, he. Would never talk to me. Never. And now I'm in the middle of all this violence. When you were with the kids, are you with your mom? I was in the. I was in elementary school. so you're just. yeah, yeah, yeah. She can't fathom that I would be witnessing a child also smoking a cigaret. you do this all the time. We were on our way to like gymnastics, right? And some guy was driving crazy, but we caught up to him at a red light, and with all the windows up, she's going, Do you know how fast you're driving? But to him it's up there. Everything is there. You just go very slow. Get her into the fucking hearse. Everyone says hi to my mom like this. She's dead. You know what I mean? You can flip people keys. Yeah. We're doing that shit in Texas. Yeah, well, not a good idea. Yeah. Guys have had a transition in sex. I was raised to be fine, and now it's like. It's like the KKK. Everybody has to be in the closet about it in Texas. It's fun way. I'm afraid of guns. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, just in general. The only fact I want. Let me say I made an illicit drug deal at a country town, and someone opened. It was like a cigar box. But there was a gun inside. Yeah. And everyone was like, pass it around and. And all the I like. This is how I die. I'm going to die. Absolutely. Like. What was it? Just pot, you know, I have to say. no, you were. I was. I was along for the ride, but we were buying the biggest bag of cocaine. yeah. So conveniently, just. That's all right. Yeah. He's a passenger. Anyone had ever seen. Hi. I'm sure. Now. I always thought it would be fun. It's a pool noodle. I no doubt. Is this. A party or is this a. Party? I'm in the ocean. In Hawaii? Yes. yeah. Did. You go scuba diving, too? No, no, we did go on one of those catamarans. Which is like an amazing deal. Yeah, I mean, it's open bar on, like, a 90 minute cruise. Wow. Ocean for 40 bucks. All right, you're in Waikiki. Everything's okay. That kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, You can do daytime more sunset. It was really nice, but it is very much like a party. I wanted to go. I've always wanted to go there. I've gone to Kona and Kauai, but Waikiki was like the prize on every right and every game show. Beautiful. What it was either the Poconos or beautiful Waikiki. Right. Hotel in the Poconos with, like, the big champagne glass. Yeah. And then they had that. They showed the to the people from the seventies, which is Maya, and they have the heart shape. They're sitting in a heart shaped tub. Yeah, they still have that. You can still stay in them. And it's the same hotels from the shit. I want to do that. That's for. Sure. Wait. And that's an STD from the seventies. I just tasted it on the set. Yeah. Damn. You know, especially being on the road and getting into hotel rooms, it's like, really? okay. They just tried to make boutique, right? And clearly it's still the best Western, but the hotel. I keep the old shit and put on clean sheets. Yes. I do too. But they, I love when the tub is in the room because of that. Yeah, the tub is in the room. Yeah. That was Up. That's so. Cool. Yeah, I'll still take a bath in that time. Yeah. yeah, I do sometimes bring my own bleach spray. yeah. No, no, no. I feel good idea. Yeah, I. Did. A man, I think of, like, just being in, like, a condo, which is a comedy condo. So for some reason, you think, well, that might be nice. I mean, it's like, wait a second. Every guy who's ever done stand up has jerked off in this room, and it's like you pull the shower curtain over and it's it's like moving like plastic or I mean, it is plastic, but it's like, you know. Yeah, you just junk it. The mayonnaise or whatever it is from me, man. Yeah, not well. It's just gross. To just come in every single thing, my man. fuck your own toiletries. I never thought of that. Yeah. Look, I'm glad those condoms have most gone away. Yeah, I mean, I've stayed in a couple, and I. I felt like they were already at the tail end of that. Yeah, which is. Nice. I feel like traveling or touring a lot has turned me into, like, a prepper. If I knew. I'm sorry, but if I knew that somebody was coming in, one of those little things, I would call them trial size. The next time I saw them making fun of their dicks. Trial size. you. I know what you did. Yeah, I don't know. Because now you have the ID there on the wall, right? It's a refill. Yeah. People would be with that. I never thought. Well, yeah, you would have to. Like what, Like stand up or something to come in there or. a little cup and then. A devious person or a prankster would go to such length. I mean, I, I, I feel like I, I'm always way more freaked out by like one pube. one hair of any of them. in every hotel room you check into, there's like one hair. Yeah. Even if it's like housekeeping lady, housekeeping person. Yeah. Or whatever. It's just like, I don't know. my. Gosh. That's the shower. Wall. Yeah. I would rather come in sometimes. I don't know why. Like, yeah. My mom is exactly like you in that she. I mean, it's unbelievable because she's got stuff all over the house. She doesn't throw anything out. But if it's a cat hair or any kind of hair and and she also has like three cats now. But I this is how I decided we were big and little E.T. the last time I went to North Carolina here, I had my head in the fridge, you know, for comfort or, you know, purpose, whatever. I'm looking for something. And my mom's like the five foot two or three. She's lint rollers in my back because she doesn't want any hair in the kitchen. And I said, Why are you doing this right now? And she goes, Well, because you've got hair on the back, on your back because you say, and by the way, I was naked. So it's just my back hair. No, no. Because I was wearing as I was wearing my sweats forever. And she says, because you sat on the couch. So she's lint rolling my rear and my lower back. And and I said, you care about I mean, I agree. That's disgusting. There's there's a but there's there's cat air and everything all over the floor. But I mean, just can't be in the kitchen area like a hair that yeah. I will not eat food prepared by someone else unless she oversaw it and knows that they like. and under her back. But she does eat takeout. Yeah. So if you know one of my if one of us come over and make something while she's asleep or whatever and then go here, she look she doesn't trust it from random restaurant and she's like, I can put that I had. Cause she didn't. Of a stranger's finger in your food then, like your daughter's. I had a guy I worked with. How many daughters? How many kids are there in your family for kids? okay. Okay. Where are you? And I have some biological siblings. I don't know. I'm the youngest. You are? baby. For an hour. I feel like the youngest one has to be the five in your herd. Yeah, I was very, very silent as a child. but when I got in a line, it was like it had to be funny. that's great. You don't get a lot of opportunities and that's better. Yeah. Or extremely rude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. no. yeah. For my sisters and stuff. But mostly I just hung back and. Watch. A face to speak to a college. I feel like. Wow, stage door at a young age. I love that movie. Have you seen that movie? It's really old. I think. you love it. It's so good. It's all these women, all these actresses in a rooming house. It's Eve, Arden, Lucille Ball. Always. And the way they like, insulted. they leave in ermine and come back in rags. They're real mouthy. And I tried like that, but I didn't have the one liner behind it, so I just had the shitty attitude with that empty statement. I definitely do that. Yeah. me, Darlene. that's so cute. You're a big Roseanne fan because that show was so bad. my God, Yes, I swear. Still, I still watch it. Seasons three, four or five are like amazing television. Am I allowed to brag and say that? I. I wrote on that. I wrote on Roseanne and 92 and I think it was thinking, Well, then I guess I don't need to brag. And I why am I trying to why am I trying to impress Amy here for a minute? It's insane. Like good work. Yeah. So funny. That's the whole thing. It's like. It really is. Like, the jokes are, like, hilarious and timeless and all that. Shit, and they're delivery. Like when John Goodman and Roseanne are like, laughing and all that. I love John Goodman so much. Ari seems like the best thing. He's an angel. I remember. I actually. I was working on the same lot, just, you know, like a month ago. And I just saw him. And just because it was just it was me and another new writer, and we were just walking down the hall and I said, Hi, John. And I thought, he's not going to work out. He probably just thought, Why are these assholes staring? And I said, Hi, John, it's Laura. Guess Laura Kightlinger, How are you? Yeah, I remember. Me. Yeah, well, I Yeah, well, I, you know, 20 years ago we used to kind of all of us used to hang out a little bit. Yeah. After the shows and stuff. He. I always said I want to go to like a, like a steak house dinner with, like, red wine and scotch and just like, I wanted to. I want to David Letterman and I want to be John. I am. I want the server because I think they'd be into it to be Amy Sedaris. my God. She's amazing. Way. But I think she really. I love her. Yeah. She makes cupcakes and stuff. And she she she worked at a restaurant in New York even while she was famous. She worked at I'm God now. I don't remember the name, but. But for a long time. Yeah. Yeah. What was that restaurant in Midtown that like? Yeah, like Letterman. A lot of people will go. It was like, I want to say the 700 Club, which is, I love that. Shit. I can't even remember. I can't remember. Of 100 or so. I was a number in an underground like, fancy steakhouse. Yeah, very exclusive. Yeah. I do. But I can't remember names of anything. But it was one of those things. I was like, Do I at a very conflicted agency? Do I want darling to be my girlfriend or I do. I just want to beat her. I felt I. Wanted I mean, I laughed. I felt that same way about Kristy McNichol. Really? For a split second, I thought you were going to say the bitch you blew up on the Challenger. But that's all I was. no, no, no. Sally Ride, I think, would have been much. The same about Darling. Yeah. I want her to be my boyfriend, too. Yeah. Yeah. Well, she just had this, like, weight to her that I think I had as a kid. Just like a darkness. Yeah. Been here before? Yeah. You sell like. So adults. Right? Yeah. Yeah. She was so. Kind of you guys. Yeah. Like, this is dark. What's happening? Yeah, Adding to it. this came out. Before both of you kids were born. But you kids. But you have to open a camera. First on boxing. Yes. Yes. Or happy early birthday. No, I wrapped it a while ago because I couldn't figure out. I said, you're like, Yeah, you better look at how crazy she looks. Oh, she was insane. Do you know about this? Oh, which do? And you? I mean, gear, Which camera should it be on this? She showed this with. A crossword game. Where did you get. Oh, good. Well, I can see. Of course. Eyebrows shoot. Yeah, all of it. Well, that's a wig. Good. Let's start with that. Her lips are not hers. Yes, yes. Yes, you can see them. But it's called Cross up, so it's like a crossword. But. But what? But what? Mm. Maybe it's kind of like bananagrams with cards where you're trying to make words that crossover. Oh, that could be because it was from night. But it's from 1974, of course. But 1974. Isn't that crazy? Look at this, Amy. It says Cross up. So you put your name on there. How do you play? Oh, look. Some. Oh, yeah, Somebody already started it. Yeah. Okay. So somebody already had fun with it. You know, there's the there the exit. Look, look. There are the directions on the back. Oh, I think you're right. Uh. Sylvia. Oh, I like. 1974. Mm. I love Sylvia as a name to have. Played a lot. And then someone just did, like, one little more, so. Yeah. Thank you. Long time. And this is what happens right before you kill yourself in a hotel room. You play a cross of. Thank you, Lord. Oh, you're so welcome. But isn't that funny? I don't think those were around that much. I mean, they sure as hell aren't now, but. Hand is that. I think you let. Anyone under nine try and play that. That is. Dangerous. Yeah. And you have to frame that. You could frame that in a what do you call it? Um, no, but I mean, what are the box frames? A diorama? Yeah, maybe. Or not. I don't know. Diorama with the actual box. Make a little one. Yeah. No one. Yeah. Yeah, of course, Judy. Well, who knew that was going to come up? All right, all right. You're a gift giver. I like to. I don't know why I get such a kick out of it. You do. Though, Just because I. Play her for years and you do that, right? What I got from Kate Loving gallery. Oh, I'm glad I'm glad it lingers. Blu ray. Yes. Hey, Seen downstairs in the back. Have you been here before? No. No. Well, you have to come here more often, and we have to meet. And now that we've talked about, I have to meet your your boyfriend's ass. I have to see if it's. It was juicy as well. She's delicious. Delicious. Which is, like, the most perfect ass I've ever seen. Yeah, but. He has no flaws on it. Mm hmm. Like, I, you know, my ass. Whatever. I Look, there's shit going. On. Yeah, Yeah. Like, just marks and, you know, like, pimples or whatever. I've never gotten acne on my face, knock on wood. I mean, just because high school is easier, I think, than you did. Yeah, I have it right now. Oh. Yeah. Just like pimples on my back. That's not fair. It just doesn't. His looks like someone just painted it. I used to do. I used to do Uh huh. You said you're not starstruck at all, like, especially in comedy. Were you? Are there people that you grew up watching that you're like, I can't believe I get to work with them. Yes. Well, that when I six years ago just didn't have to qualify it. But people know what happened. When I opened for Roseanne. That was great. I yeah, you get to do. That was like 2015 was very on the cusp of whatever saw. Her. Yeah. Like dyed in the wool Roseanne fan. Yeah she's great. It's happening now. But if I had ever. Said. I would brag about that. Well, you know, to. Yeah, yeah. So, um, she was a judge on last comic. Oh, that's a what is that like, I, I couldn't even watch that show because I thought, this is so frightening because you don't know what you're going to get with the hosts. And it's all that, just the pressure in general of the audience, and you're being judged. How was it? I had a great time. Oh, good. Very new comic, like, just like almost three years and. Oh, yeah, that's so new. Yeah. We got very lucky because that season it was the final season, so it yeah, it was produced by Wanda and Page Jeselnik was the host. Oh, I like him. Yeah. Roseanne, Norm and Kenan. Oh okay. And it was, you know, we didn't live together. Not like those early seasons. I thought it was really fun. Oh, living in Portland at the time. So it's like, I don't know, we just stay at the Hilton and, like, swam and worked like an hour or so. You they keep you there a week for it. Or if you would. Oh, I see. They're like about a week. Mm. I got to like the semifinals. Oh great. It's like a total of a week and a half, even for the winter. Okay, very brief. That's very. Cool. Just hanging out and, like, talking to your friends, which they're filming. Oh, you're just like, Get out of here. Yeah. Some people are really putting on in the green room, of course, for air time. 035. Oh, okay. And I like New Norm already, and I knew Paige and Wanda, so it was just like, I don't know, it was comfortable. Mm hmm. My friends were there. It was great. So where did it shoot? Oh, from like, house to feature and then, like, featured a headline someplace. Oh, great. I wanted. I was just like, people to come see me. Yeah. Get to that next step as a new. And that was shot out here. Mm. Oh, okay. Yeah, it was at Universal. Oh, gosh. Okay. So that maybe it was in your first thing. Okay. The very first season when like Jane Moore was the host. The first first season. But even that show was how I learned about like Kathleen Madigan and like, it was still a great vehicle for people. Yeah. I think what, what what was stupid about it? Not on NBC's side. And I think maybe some of the frustration that one page had is that they didn't use it as like a form for talent or writers or people to pitch shows which like why wouldn't you. Yeah. Take your like top ten or anyone that got a lot of airtime or big response and go like, what do you have to pitch? Yeah. Oh, very stupid. Yeah. And a lot. Of those people still went on to make. So. Yeah, just like, I don't know, they really just treated it as like a basement baby show. It was probably cheap to produce. Yeah. And I don't. I just have so much fun. I'm so impressed with Kathleen Madigan. I think she's the the original road warrior. She's I want to even like, I wanted to ask her to do our show, too, but I feel like she's probably in, you know, Alaska or someplace right now. Yeah, she's. Great. I love her podcast and in Covered Your Orchard where she had the house. Oh, yeah. And it's like, Dolly, whoever's on it is always like weird, amazing women. I remember I just saw. Oh, Genius Usher kids book. Oh. Yeah. He was in Canyon life. No, I wish he would want to. I Yes, but I. don't know. I feel like if I go to any kind of a show, it's usually something like there's nineties punk or something like I don't usually go into anything country that much. Well it's different for certain people. You just got to see like. I would see Dwight Yoakam though, in a second. Yeah. So I can't. So so that's country and I love him so I. Oh yeah. Try to land Yeah yeah. My friend Maggie and I, they wouldn't give us a set. Elizabeth. They give us her Kleenex. So yeah, some. Of her art friends in my house from like, that show. Loretta Yeah. Oh, they're not good. Uh huh. That makes it so much better. Yeah. She did all these flower paintings. Oh, wow. Has a bunch of prints you can buy and they're like, Is hatch. Her husband had show print is like the screen printing spot in Nashville. That's all I. Know. Do the original, like, country posters. Are they still print And you can still you go buy art from people there. Yeah well, I forgot to ask. How do you like that? I thought that was her husband, Hatch. She looks like someone who married my mom. Dated someone named Hatch. Oh, wow. Really? Wow. I knew man And Hutch. Yeah. Yeah. I like that lead singer of the Thermals. I don't know who they are. Oh, you like. Like 90. So, yeah, the Thermals. I should. I'm going to be embarrassed, but I feel like I'm kind of morphing into to Glenn Danzig. Mm. Uh, he lives around here, right? We were tied. The. I, i, I am a starship person just because, like, I think it's nerdy, but I would love to meet, like, Pat Smear like people like that. Yes. Like there are people, I will say, and another person who's just like the storm is shit now. But I was at the Troubadour saying Orville or my cat. And you invited me to that. Or Morrissey walk. Ooh. You know, I've always been a huge fan. Sure, some people do have, like, a present. Yeah, you're like, Morrissey has just walked in. Yeah. Changes. Sort of. The energy of the Wow just is such a big presence. And in that way, I do will, I will get starstruck. Mm hmm. Like, I'm going to go up to and be like, Hey, Morrissey. Yeah. But ask. Hey, why is he an asshole? I like him too. As a story. Because he's B he was me. Oh. Saying really good songs. And he goes, Who the are you? Oh, he's always been a personal asshole, but now he's gotten very like conservative race. Oh, shit. Some people are just really bad. I like. Yeah, I like his lyrics so much though. Oh yeah. Yeah. Write my name on your hand with a fountain pen. That means you really love me. You remember that. One for me? Yeah. I really like. Yeah. Oh, my God. I went and saw Morrissey with a die hard fan, and that guy was weeping. Wow. Yeah. Like deejay from El Paso, Uh, to the best thing was, it was in Austin, Texas. But he has is like, you know, that, like, Latino Goth kind of thing. That's. Sure, that's a huge bulk of the audience that night. Uh huh. And for the Smiths, it's always been like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Same department, Depeche Mode, The Cure, same thing. But it was just really funny because a lot of kids came up from San Antonio because it was the only show like anywhere in the city. So we had this dramatic moment where he shows like, because he's vegan. Uh huh. Oh, yeah. Ominous murder. Yeah. Factory footage, Right? Right. Yeah. I'm glad about that, though. I can't stand it. I hate that people still think it's okay to eat pigs. And I mean, I. If you're driving. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want to see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pig on the way to the weather. You know, Abby and here's. But I have to say, just. I have to plug this for 2 seconds. Morning farms or is it Good morning Farm's bacon hour. It tastes. It's amazing. Oh, yes. Jesus. Can I get anything right? Morning Star. I be such a bad pitch person because I can't remember the name of what I'm pitching. But it is really good, isn't it? It tastes even better that I mean, than. Than slaughtered animals that know they're going to die. It tastes better than slaughtered animals that know they're going to die and are squealing. I agree. Morningstar Farms. I walked away from the Morrissey video, but I yeah, I, I do eat meat. I'm sorry. I appreciate him doing it. But he also does the thing where he just like it. He's canceled like he's walked off stage if he like, smelled me cooking Oh. At festival like outside lands or something or like Coachella where he, he knew what he was getting into. Yeah. Eating meat. Yeah. One song and then leave like that's his, that's become his legacy is like being a racist and not doing his show. Wait a second, Amy. If it just if you don't eat meat, that doesn't necessarily make you a racist. Do you know what I'm saying? How do y. Believe. Don't eat these. I'm the opposite, though. I'm saying don't. Don't eat pigs. No matter what color they are. I don't care. I don't agree. Yeah. Yeah. That's also I'm. For call me a pig. I mean. No, no, no, no. I do. Or as a friend, if she's one. Of my favorite friends of yours, by the way. Amy. Yeah, she's fucking hilarious. Well, Caitlin told me how much I was going to. Yeah. Yeah. All right, go on. We finish your story. I interrupted about ten times. No, about going to see you. Went to see the Smiths or just. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I will say this. We did meet Loretta Lynn. We tried. Oh, we were right outside her bus because she is. And she couldn't like water large and golf cart and possible her 2010 bong in the day before some of her imagine our like let's sing her happy. Oh so she's she's being carried on the bus right. She's the she's only a right when they pull it. We have had the birth and fuckin mean all Loretta Lynn goes, Is it my birthday again already. I love that. Perfect. In year out. It was beautiful. It shows how funny she is. I think she and her granddaughter come out. She was literally sit down in a chair and let someone else sing for hours. All right, who cares? But yeah, yeah. And she it was a great show. But one time her granddaughter was just yucking it up about my grandma and just telling some dumb backstory to the song she was about to sing. And then she looked at Loretta and she goes, Oh, yeah, Grandma told me, Don't talk. Just saying that I believe her. Oh, oh. She had someone a couple of years ago that I didn't. It's not starstruck. It's just like. Like I met Mike Myers very briefly. I'm sure it's more it's like you have added so much to my life. I never seen you in person or met you. And I just want to say thanks. Yeah, that's it. I've never like, Oh my God, I look good and I don't want to, like, so many people are shitty. I just, you know, don't meet your heroes and you don't want to be let down by an interaction. But he was so sweet and it was very brief. It was also at like a promo event for his show. It was an explicit like, I'm here to meet people thing. Yeah, yeah. I saw him in a restaurant. Yeah. Don't bother anybody. I feel like, yeah. I'd like to meet Carol BURNETT because my mama used to always watch. Yeah, we were married. My mom and I used to. That's what we used to watch all the time. Now I would have loved to. My dad wrote her fan letters in the Gary Moore days. Oh, okay. And she wrote him back. Wow. At some point, this is the weirdest thing ever. You know, your parents reveal revealing one strange thing about themselves and your kids. Mm. He was like, Come in here and pull a box out from under the bed. And there's, like, the letter and the autograph. I cried. I teared up when she showed up on the Emmys. I just always think, like, if you're hyper famous and you're someone like that, that you've just, like, brought people so much joy that either I don't know, I'm going to be disappointed by you, or I feel bad because you're known as a nice giving person. And I'm like, Don't spend any emotional labor on me. Oh. Williams thing I'm sure you friends with. It's just like I wrote for the show that before he died. Oh, man. And I. Oh, and it was called the Crazy Ones. And now I have to, like, bring myself back into the conversation a thousand more times. But we, we wrote for the show and, you know, he died. And I was really good friends with the the head writers. And I when he died, I called him and said, hey, it's not your fault. That's perfect. As if someone's known for giving people that time and that. He was so sweet. And being sweet, I feel almost even worse. Oh, on me. Yeah. Because, you know, as a comic, even with 1/1000000 of the audience, that it is like emotionally or like, it's a lot of energy to give to people after shows that you're going to give, you know, oh, at that level, I can't imagine how you feel. Yeah, it is. Huh? Oh. I can't. See if anybody. Saw. If anybody if anybody just starts with a compliment to me. I can't wait to spend time with them. Yeah, you're the best friend or anybody. All right. So. Yeah. What if you do a lot of shows? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, Yeah. You have to keep meeting people and keep. Yeah, yeah. I know. Well, Amy is known for that. For a bit after sense, I promise. You. Definitely. I mean, I don't know, I, I feel really grateful when anyone comes to see me. Yeah. Or people who take a chance and just, like, go to the comedy club and which I don't want to like pat people on the back for seeing a random woman, but it still is like that. Yeah. Yeah. Like things. Yeah. Believing that I might be good. Oh, I know, I know. I want. To like. I want to give them that time, you know, and just say thank you, Amy. You're the best. I love you. I'm so glad we got to me. Okay. Okay. Oh, people going to see me all over the place on my website. Similar comedy dot com and follow me on Instagram because that is the most important thing. Yeah. It's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone that's listening, it's so easy to do. You can change my life. Yeah. Yes, yes. Even. Do you know my thing? But what's your handle on that? It's Amy Miller comedy at work. So on Instagram. Great. Your clips are funny and give me so good. Yeah. My God. Sometimes. But it it's just becoming such a thing. It's like, I know we have to wrap. I know. Thing like there's. Talk about. It like a lot of podcasts too. Comedy podcasts, even that are already very, very successful and lucrative, are now booking based on number of followers. Oh, shit. Are you kidding? Oh, my God. Oh. Yeah. God, I didn't know that. It's so. It's embarrassing. Yeah, but clubs are booking based on that too, now. And it's just like, okay, now over. And you can have my and I'm like, we. But I've been doing this amount and I'm like, You have an audience. Yeah. I mean, I do this because I want to get out of bed. I mean, if I didn't, if Daniel wasn't at the door, I would just be in bed all day. Yeah. To do this. Right. Face. Time. Yes, please do. You can definitely call me Amy. I'm up to four one, right? Yeah. Do you follow Amy? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I. Yeah, I'm on tour. I got a bunch of dates. Oh, good. So they can just. Want you to call him now. Yeah. Yeah. And I was laughing just that I saw just one of your wedding photos. Um, we are, like, drinking out of a hose. Oh, yeah. That's so cute. I was like, I wasn't. But she's a young beauty who's not afraid to drink out of a hose. You know, hose water tastes good. You know, if that. Yeah, it's a tinny. And water. Delicious. It's so old. I know. It's like. I love the smell of the shock. Oh, yeah. It was good. I want a very funny joke about that. And Wanda's latest. Hmm. The bug man. Yeah. Oh, really? I made me gay because it was this whole, like, you could make an inch a spooky entrance. I did? Yeah. Deadly. Just to say nothing went wrong. I'll say I'm going. I'm going to. I'm going to, like, tap both of you because I like the smell of airplane glue. And I like the smell of all glue. What is airplane. Like? I guess it's like cement glue or any kind of smell glue. Yeah, those old like the oak. It was like a metal like when you would craft. Yeah. Mm. I'm, I'm doing that now. Mm hmm. Brush. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, yes. Yeah. That's the best. That's what I like to. Yeah, it was like that. Or the Foleys vestibule, you know, you walk in the door and have to walk through the other door. There was this one like. What is Foley's department store? Oh, J.C. Penney. Oh, Foley's. Okay, It smells like that glue. I really like a psycho. Used to be trying to Smells good. And we're all just. on glue. Okay, I'll go. Thank you. Thank you, Amy Miller. Yeah, we'll see you. Okay.