"Kansas City Amputations" with Erin Foley

We sit down with beloved comic, tv writer and stand up coach, Erin Foley. We discuss stand up coaching, sitcom writing, the odyssey of lesbian love, being a twin, death from above, the royals, "Cruel Jaws", you're not a Claire, an ashtray full of pills, anti-depressant spoiler, the Barker Beauties, frozen shoulder and Kansas City Amputations.

Website:
erinkfoley.com
Instagram:
@erinkfoley
X:
@erinfoleycomic

WWTWH YouTube Channel

Laura Kightlinger
Twitter: @KingKightlinger
Insta: @laurakightlingerlives
Web: laurakightlinger.com

Daniel Webb
Twitter: @thedanielwebb
Insta: @the_danielwebb
Web: thedanielwebb.com

Transcript

0:09

It was one of those in Santa Barbara last night, and I was gesturing over. Rolling. Okay. Okay. I want to. And I realize I've forgotten to take. But I think you might now. I know, but I mean, we were here. It doesn't matter. I don't know. Maybe. Dan, you. Then you look at it and go. Yeah, yeah. I realized as I was doing that, I was like this. I was like, my God. This Hawaiian public thinks I actually wear state jewelry, like. Danyew, hi. Hi. Welcome to what? Whatever. I know. I know. Today we have three time curling champ. self-professed ladies, woman and flight risk. Beloved, beloved, beloved, veteran, comic and stand up comic coach sensation in and coaching and just a brilliant all around brilliant woman and friend. Here she is. Erin Foley, right here. Woo! Retire after that mix of all time. Just give me. please. You're the best one. I don't even know where to look. Honestly. What if I did the whole thing. Without. A very important that Lori knows? Yeah, I went through many more phases. no. Being just unabashedly in love with her. Yes. Then in love with her. Stand up. Yes. And then when you hang in there long enough, sometimes you became friends with us. So, I mean, it's been so many states. Well, I feel lucky for both of you hanging. Out. For sure. What do you mean? The first time I was like, I sat down and, like, had a drink with Laura. I could not believe what was happening. And I remember just like it was like the room melted away. And I was just talking to Laura, and also and I turned around and all of my friends who were over there were now like, here, you know, I mean, trying to like, say. I'm pretty special. Aaron Okay, here's what here's what I've been thinking about. I know that you said you've you everyone's talking about it because it's not it's really rare that a truly amazing stand up starts coaching other stand ups. It takes patience. And I'm going to say incredible empathy like I was writing on this show and this young comic came up to me and said, Lord, could I run my 5 minutes past you? And my first gut was, Hey, that sounds like hell on earth. Then I backtracked and felt so f***ing bad about it and and listened. And her stand up is really solid that she's this young convert. Her name is Angela and old, husky, old, chunky, old C h, e sky aunt. And she's very funny. Writer and she lives in Utah. But I'll give you your info because, I mean, can you tell me what your process is like? How you. Well, honestly, I just you know, I've been doing standup for so long, and then I started to get like, out of the blue, just, like, really anxious on stage. never happened to me before. And I think I was just, like, getting burnt out, being on the road and just also the same time trying to transition and more sitcom writing. So as I was doing that, I don't know if something happened on stage where I was just like, I just felt uncomfortable and I've always felt, well, first of all, I feel uncomfortable. For me to. Master on stage, you know, you really. Nilay You're a strong performer, so to hear you say that you're uncomfortable is because you do have a loud confidence on stage, true delivery, or because it's like across the board, I feel. Like I can pull it off. But it was becoming less and less enjoyable. And. Yeah, like anxiousness. You were like, you didn't want to do it. I did. I did not want to do it. But then when I was on stage doing it, I'd be like, okay, this is fine, but it would ruin my day. And I just was like, I think I just need to take like, maybe just I'm done with it. so anyway, the whole, the whole point of this is that was happening that I was, I was doing thankfully more writing gigs. So that was really taking me out of standup and then at the same point in time, I started working with a couple of comics, one specifically on her Netflix specials. But for some reason there's this dumb thing that nobody, nobody can mention anybody getting help. Right? I'm like, Right. whatever. So correct. People have like comedians, huge comedians have, right? Yes. Yeah, Yeah. Or any less talented or there's another joke from day. One, Joan Rivers had writer. And plus whomever your significant other is is probably sick of hearing you say What do you think of this? Is this work? Yeah, I do it together. And he's like, out of his mind. You try to do that too. In a relationship. you're still in a real love phase, though. I mean, that's nice, but. Yeah, yeah, I mean, to get it. Already, I just want. I want him to think I'm funny all the time. So much easier. I just think I'm boring. Yeah. Like my partner is very, like, beyond supportive, but, like, she doesn't, like, laugh out loud. Yeah. So I hear, like. In the. Beginning of our relationship, I'm like, Whoa one. She was like, Yeah. And I was like, no, that's not I mean, so much bigger of her reaction. Yeah, not hers because, I love to. Yeah. Yeah. I met you when you were on tour. Yeah, And actually, the first the hardest lesson I learned was your gig at Cap City. I have one Thursday show, but they asked me to host everything, and I said I can do everything but third thing or whatever. I didn't know that they took you for the block, and so they gave it to somebody else. So the weekend I met you, I was supposed to be your host or something like that. no way. The day, which is a normal. You know what I mean? That's a normal thing. I should have just said yes to the club and just the other thing. But that was a hard life. I was like, you take the money. Don't go Be on a. So you're on the road. I was like, Does that contribute to like, the fatigue you're feeling like that led to your. Yeah, it was just kind of like perfect storm type of thing. So, yeah, I was just I wasn't burnt out. Honestly, when I got on stage, it was just, you know, the travel and at the time, like, you know, I was making like, okay, money. Yeah, it was like not worth the amount of like, I just wasn't. Aaron, was it? Were you saying it's telling me about the these I'm sorry, these women that were worse kind of like being anti-gay at some show. For all the shows. Every show. That she. Is. Yeah, she says no. But I remember in particular you were saying that they said, like, get a dick or No, maybe not even like. Yeah. I don't think I've been specifically like, I mean, I don't know if I've had, like, specific anti-gay. You know, I'm confusing you with another dick. Uncomfortable silence when you do the gay reveal the. Slur because you're in the room. please. And I like I mean, I you know, also, I was kidding because I was saying like anti-gay, but yeah. So then I think I took us, like, way off track. So then. So you've started helping other comics and then now. Well, how can I stay? Probably was just like I fell into working with a couple of comics and I absolutely loved it. Like, and so I was like, Well, how can I stay in stand up? Like I'm doing stand up like, locally? I can't quit it. Yeah. Even though I say I am done. But, you know. You just can. You can. Yeah. But I realize also, like, my at leaves right now, my touring days are over. My goals are completely different, and I absolutely love being around standups. I mean, I, you know, 25 years into this, I'm not jaded by. That's amazing, too. I love that about you. Standup. Now, I've been in the writers room for a couple of years and writers are funny, but they're not funny. yeah. There's a real difference. Because. Funny and brilliant, but like, you don't want to be like, Hey, let's. Go get beers. Yeah, You know, you're just like, See you tomorrow. And they're men. And a lot of the writers are men, and they and they're, they're, they're their balls. Everything is on the line with a pitch, right? Do you find that like, if you say ab, what about this? And it's like, you know, I don't know. Yeah. Like, I just love standup. Yeah, that's what it is. It's the nerdy, nerdy process, which I absolutely am obsessed with. So like this morning I was working with some of there's never I'm working on like, you know, some Netflix special at the same time this woman who is like, kind of famous in the realities never didn't stand out before. So I'm like I find that just as interesting. Yeah you. People love you know you're. Like. Yeah, yeah. Because they're not overthinking anything. Yeah. And I find like, I saw the comic last night and I was a guy and. Yeah, and it was like our fourth time or something. Yeah. but I, I see people posting online all the time, like friends and colleagues who are like coaching or giving some kind of lesson. And their career is dog shit. It's like. Yeah. And they don't have the experience. Yeah. Y you know what, I take a lesson from someone who doesn't have the like the merit or. Yeah, you got that. That's why I was inspired that you started. It was like, finally. Who. Can actually. And what were the people listening and watching? What do you charge and how do the people get in touch with it. Well we'll plug it, but how? I hope to guide you, Charge, you're not just doing this out of being nice or I'm not going to stand for it. Or share information. On the way. Okay. Only on my website there's a coaching tab and there's a, a video and all the information and price and calendar. My partner Sarah set the whole thing. Fantastic. She's got so many skills. But she was actually the one that's like, Why don't you just, like, make this a business that you're already doing? And I was like, Okay. that's great. Like writing gigs. And there's also. There's just time. Yeah, I just love it. So I thought, Well, why do I just try? Yeah, you got to get that streaming sources of income. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that. It's like that's the new century. Yeah. Like it's like JFL collapsing. yeah. And I have friends who've lost jobs and stuff like that. Yeah, but it's one of those things I was like, Wow. There was another thing. Yeah, I didn't even know that What happened? What I. Yeah. I know. I think Garrett told me about it yesterday. Yes. You didn't. Know. We're right in the middle of college basketball season. Ha ha. Trump-biden. But Iowa basketball's what one? Glaring oversight in your introduction is that you're a mega sports fanatic in. clear. You're saying curling isn't a sport? I beg your pardon. I know. Surely. Okay. Where are you from? From? I'm from New York City. No, Long Island. Brooklyn. Long Island? Where? The Long Island Like Hampton Bays area. That's where I was born. But now. You know, I was thinking your twin is a teacher, so maybe you both have this kind of. Have the kind of a giving nature naturally kind of to help worker. But my older sister was a teacher and my mom's. okay. So it got that wrong. Yeah. Yeah, she's a professor. Why? Where? Holes in family structure. I don't know. The same thing with. The Olsen twins. And then there's Elizabeth. But yeah. There is the other sister. There's the garden gnomes, and then there's their older sister. I'm awful. I don't give a her weight. Okay. The twins. I've never seen her. Have you ever met her? And she's as beautiful as Aaron. I'll be blown away. There's a. Guy. Yeah. Literally right down the street. Really? And? And he was mean to. Whoever I talked about is also a twin. So there's got to be some kind of simpatico thing that the comic goes. Me too. I am, too. Do you guys go to, like, meetings where there's other plans that were overdue shit like that? No, like the big twin. Big, big twin celebrations or. Yeah. Waiting tables. It was the weirdest group of people ever, and I was always eavesdropping and trying to psychoanalyze everybody, but I could not. But again, it was like a group of 20, right? And they were all strange looking and had like, just weird cliche. Everything was strange, nothing was consistent. And finally, after, like, what I can glean from the conversation was that they were all near-death survivors. wow. Death experience. And that was their little club. my God. Someone had been struck by lightning. Yes. All those cases where people go out, then you don't tell the twins don't go. Well, First of all, that's so much more interesting. Than trying. Well, I mean, that being a twin, I don't like chromosome parties. Okay. Yeah. No. near-death experience club. Isn't that wild? What? What a great way to, like, get to die on the way home, though. I would drink too much and then, you know. But that's why I realized I was like, that's why. They're all kind. Of like, up looking is because they hide. They're kind of they're kind of shaky. One day all the time. Yeah. Yeah. They all crossed over here. There is this New Yorker article about five or six years ago because I've been obsessed with sinkholes my entire. they're. Crazy. Out here in Delaware, there is this woman just casually dropped in the article that she is falling into. Not one, but two. my God. Like. I want to know everything about this woman. She should be in that club. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I'm also terrified of sinkholes because they happen anywhere. If you don't die, your then here in Desert is his autobiography. In the beginning, there's an earthquake in Cuba that a sinkhole opens and swallows a bus full. Of people who. One sentence and then just goes on with the whole rest of this. And that was it. Prime Minister, I love. Yeah. Yeah, I remember that the most. The bus thing. Goodbye. One of my biggest fears. Yeah, but like, that's a natural. Yeah, but you know, the two sinkholes, like, I also think some people might be hexed. I know it sounds crazy, but there was a woman who died. well, actually, I guess she almost died from a snakebite, But it was like an eagle or something. Had a snake in its mouth and dropped it on her. I thought that. And then she died. That almost died from being bitten and getting in a poisonous snake bite from above, you know? Isn't that crazy? Or maybe she did die. I can't remember, but that. Someone got, like, bit by a barracuda. Yeah. Woods Because of bear. An eagle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what I mean. And dropped it. And some hiker somebody got. Yep. By the fish. Yeah. Yeah. You got to rethink that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did somebody okay? You got to go. Yeah. Yeah. A barracuda in the middle. It's something like that. Yeah, it was like a shark. But, I mean, okay, a snake bite, you know, on the ground. Okay, But out of this, fine, you know, out of the air, out of another. The Eagles mouth. This. That's crazy. My friend lived in Alaska and a bang, so many Bulgarian girls that he spoke Bulgarian. After that. Lots of people worked there in the summer. Did he try or did just happen? It just happened. It was great. Yeah. the language. Yeah, it was broken. No. You see all kinds of crazy shit in Alaska. Like they're shooting stars all the time. Yeah, there's a ship, Miles guy. But the other thing is, you see, like, we saw an eagle get into a fight with, like, two hawks or falcons in the sky, and they're all flying upside down. Jeez. We were, like, taking the eagle down. It's like. Wow. Did you. You don't like traveling for tours and shit, do you? Like I did? I loved it for a really long time. Yeah. And then, honestly, I think I was really. I was just getting a little a little getting a little burnt out. And then I met Sarah while we had known each other for a while. But then I just thought, you know, this is like kind of a perfect time to maybe do, I don't. Know, you know, nest egg. Yeah. I met Sarah. I like Sarah a lot. Yeah. She's cool. And you have a dog and you have a little homestead. It's real cute. Yeah. And then, of course, it's like the grass is greener, right? Like, I'm completely settled now. We have a little dog, super happy. Like I'm, you know, writing and coaching, and now I'm like, I could do a road game. Ha ha ha. Because you, like, you guys. Got to figure out, like, the balance. Yeah. I'm like, Okay, well, that chapter was. Yeah, yeah. I think it was kind of need. I just need. To make that. Back to back out of town games with Brad looking up. What's his last name locally. Okay. I know. Probably he. He talked about you a lot. I love him. Yeah, he's. At least 12, 20 years probably. And he talks about being, like back in New York. You started in New York City. Started New York City. When I think back, I'm like, thank God I was very naive, like if I had known. But you guys ever think about like, if you had known now, like if in the it's so hard to see. But like, I guess I'm just I was like, I had no idea. And that really helped me. Yeah. I never started in L.A. Had I known I wanted to do do. I think I would have been an heiress if I could have done it all again? I inherited a big thing. I know I want I would have liked to have inherited some money and just, I don't know, off of. Please. Well, who is there? I've only got my mother and she has less than me. I can hook it up. There's still time. Yeah. my. Christ. And what about. my God. The guy that the who just got married again. Murdoch, he is. He's engaged. He's 92 and he's engaged. Rupert. Rupert. yeah. I know, But, I mean, I'd like to, but, you know, he's got to be cheap there. There would have to be. He's now engaged to it. I don't know. Whether to have a nine year old lizard throbbing on. Top. I have cable. Yeah. Money. But I that's. Exactly what I that's. Some money runs out for the money. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. my God. Yeah. They called it off, though. I think they just called. Again with a 67 year old marine biologist. I mean, the contract. Yeah. money makes people not attractive to me. Like there's not no one is, like, so rich that they're high now. I mean, Jeff Bezos, could he be. my. God. My youngest letter. Your day. Yeah. I was just poor people. Like, what's the competition, though? If if I had to save someone was just now switching over to the female donor because I can't. I said Jeff Bezos. And I'm like. God. But he is universal. Is universal. Yeah. Yeah. But I do think women or whoever you're attracted to get more attractive, like if someone was a gazillionaire and they were just like, like the most generous person, you know, that nonprofit and that I would be like by then. Yeah, because women are more like that. I feel like they're just more generous. I mean, you are to kitten, but you know what I mean? But I mean, I'm saying like in general, it seems like men are really much tighter with their money. Yeah. And yeah, of course. But yeah. Destroying everything you think. No, because like Martha Stewart. yeah. When you said that lady fell into a sinkhole twice as serious as you can, struck by lightning twice. Really? Yes. And says it with a straight face. That's. Well, one of them was a facelift. That doesn't count. She was doing dishes and she got struck by lightning. And then there was another was you guys are. Just doing dishes out for. Like flew into the house. Already. That doesn't sound right. She has maids to do dishes. Those kind of people with you name you name the house. Take her lighting. Already. shit. You're right. I hate that. Harry and Meghan. Were in Austin, Texas. No gas. And they ate at my friend's barbecue. I'm a big. I'm also a big fan of those, too. Yeah. What's your attraction? I am. Is that they got out. yeah. Also, I've just always thought, like, I'm not like, buying into, like, scandal stuff, like, you know, some people are just obsessed with, like, royal family. Yeah. And I bonded with B over the fact that we, that we recreationally both watch the prince playing in a funeral because the music is so good. no. Again, with Elton John, she died like a candle in the wind Like everybody died. scaring the bitch out. really? Her wedding when I was little. And then watch the females. So I. You saw them? I guess. Yeah. I just was like someone showed me a photo, like, I don't know, probably ten years ago, where they're like, is my friend who is in England, and she's like, Harry's father is in what is it? Right. The other guy. Yeah. no. And then you see and you're like, what's? So then I got. Like, it's like I just that was the only in moment of intrigue. And then I started rewatching, not rewatching watching. Suits for the first time. God. It wasn't always on Netflix. It was, it was on Starz or something. Right. And you know Netflix like repurposes old shows. Yeah. I know. That. Demographic. yeah. Yeah. I think it was during the strike and I was like I'll watch suits. Yeah I do watch suits and we legitimately cannot stop. Wow. So Meghan Markle is in suits. Yeah. Yes. So I was like, okay. Is there a lot of backstabbing? So there's a lot of hype. Is that because that's what all that shit is? It's like, you know, women can't be friends. I don't know if you know that, but they have that reality. Yeah, and it is. A show I would never watch today. It would never get made because there's like 80 dudes. And one woman is the secretary. Meghan Markle is falling out of her shirt. There we go. But for some reason, like, yeah, you know, you have, you know, dude shows that you just can't explain it. You just can't say. yeah, no, I'm obsessed with. I'm like, That's why I watch this movie. I'm not into this or it's like YouTube. You just Google YouTube for movie and then put in a year 1995 and normal shit comes out like Stargate. The full HD movie was there for free, so I watched that. But then I watched something called Cruel Jobs, which is some weird, horrible jobs, like try to be movie. No way. Like Jaws isn't enough. This is the cruel one. And it's so bad. And one of the lines is this guy walks in, goes, Hey, I'm in charge of pussy. I just don't I make check your credentials. And then the two girls are saying that. Dick brain dick. Right. So my movie. Wow. Yeah. So that's why. To use that line. my God. You see your. Credential. But the lady had a line. She's jealous of her marine biologist boyfriend, And she goes, What do I have to do to get your attention? Grow gills. my God. That's great. Boobs. I'm into that. Yeah, now that I know, Aaron, that you guys aren't that far away, you have to come over. Please have your dog come over and sit in the yard. I want. To. I want to play. Are you the neighborhood Huskies do okay? Yeah. It's like it's touching. I want small dogs. I want you to bring it places because I have guilt about leaving. My old are everywhere. I'm also Big dog is like a human. Do you know what I mean? Want to be like? Who invited. Frank? yeah. There's one weekend in April where Sarah's away. She's doing, like, a conference in Santa Barbara all day Saturday. All this Sunday. So I'm going to be single, Dad. Yes, You play and you guys come over and hang out and see if you like. Good bye. I want you to get I'm desperate to have Daniel get a dog to a small one. Okay. A dog fixed come over that weekend and I was going to be also sitter. Same like if you ever if you had to. But what I really want to do is you could pick a ball, Right? But do you play badminton? yeah. We've discussed. This. I want to get in on this. I love that. I think I like badminton more. More? Yes, you do. I am. No, but I would like to because I need the arm exercise. I think. You Look. I know you should see. How could I ever connect a birdie with a net? You know, with a racket? I probably never could because I never know where my arms and. Badminton. Played in so long. But I used to. I used to be a we played it as a family growing up. back in the fold. The Foleys were obsessed with that. Did you have a net in the yard? God, yes. Yeah, We have a portable net in Brooklyn. You had. No, but I'm trying to picture. in Rhode Island. Okay. We moved down to New York when I was like four or five and then Connecticut for a couple of years. And then Rhode Island. And we always had that back. And it was just nonstop. That is the only thing I'm good at. That is the only thing I can talk shit about it. So. And I always say this, but in my old days, I could smoke and have a cocktail in my hand and still I you know, I was watching the Mary Tyler Moore documentary, which I think is incredible. It is. And yeah, relatively, it's called Being Mary Tyler Moore. kind of depressed me because of I feel like women on TV have gone backwards. Like, you know, we haven't really progressed. And she really started this progression like she was the first woman to wear pants on TV and to tuck into tuck. And that's what comes out in the documentary. I was just like, God Almighty, she was so cool and so amazing. And and I feel like we've all gone back from that like like that, because now women are just, you know, their wives. They set up the male actor and everything. They set up the jokes for, you know, Ray Romano, for whoever the male comic is. And it's just. Yeah. Patrick, Thank you. Yeah. You know, it's so crazy. I was named after her. Yeah. Laura. Audra. After some of the big valley. yeah. Yeah. I think her name was actually Audrey So long. I wrote a book that was a show that wasn't. Well, I think it because my mom was alone. I'm watching TV, you know, in the hospital. There's that. There's that happy story. And I used to say, Well, I'm glad that you were watching, you know, Lassie or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I randomly got an email and this is a fairly recently, someone at Friends had a baby and they named her Claire. And then a week later, I'm just. I don't know. I don't know. It was it doesn't matter. It was like let's week I was ever having to never ever meet again another another email after being with our baby for a week where we were like, she's not Claire, she's Marjorie. Wow. You updated y'all. Yeah. I was like, First of all, I was like, That's pretty awesome. Yeah. That's kind of cool. I'm going to stick, but also completely bonkers. Yeah, Like, I don't actually know that it after. After being with our baby for a week, we decided to name her shit pants bitchy. Yeah. Claire, this is. Tantrum. My son. He was. John. How lame. We know It's really crazy. It is late. We decided we don't want to be parents. Remember that. You? Yeah. I mean. Who gives a shit to be in on the email, my friend. I granted we were all they the call. All of us. Are. Facebook tells you that we're getting divorced. I was like, okay, I like. Yeah. Who get offered the announcement of the announcement? Yeah. This is also one of my favorites. When someone breaks up with someone or gets divorced, whatever, and they put on Instagram that they need, please respect our privacy at this time. And you're like, Nobody knows. You. You can have all the privacy you want. And I and that makes me laugh. So I started running to the living room and like, there is no they want private. They want to protect their privacy. TIME Are you okay? You're there. We're all a royal couple or. Yeah, you're a white coat. The word. I don't know who you are. Christ. You know, there's, like, that weird era where all your friends the same age that kids get married and all that shit, and then you don't ever go with me. But they it was it was happening in such a blur that I knew their first rounds, the names of all those kids. yeah. They had second. When they got married. Married or new kids, right? Yeah. So the six year old, I'm like, Hello, Rebecca. And then her brother Mike and Rebecca. I don't give a shit to learn or to get in the loop, but it's really hard. What am I really good friends? I was, like, trying to tiptoe around. I was like, somehow the family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was a I. I was the little one. My husband. No, no. Yeah. Also, the same thing that happens is when your friends tell you that they're just not doing well in their marriages, Right? Yeah. I don't know. homosexual male. I think that means they want to swing. it it like two gay guys? And they were talking to you about it like, Hey, you want to jump in. Like straight couples fishing for how to have an open relationship? I just assumed that again so that I have like, over. With that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, would, you know, like, that kind of stuff. okay. And I was like, Well, stop including me on all your trials if you don't to make. This game, you know, Listen, I totally get your perspective, but I get their perspective because in my point of view, gay men, let's say, let's say like not obviously all gay men would say nothing. You know, I think have the absolute healthiest approach to chips. And that is no rules. They said a very open like I'm not going it you're not going to get and everything from your person. Yeah. You know, I like I have this couple in my life for so long. I think they were together at least like 20 years and they were, like, compatible in every way. But they just didn't want. They had completely different. Can I swear? Yeah. Alpha. Yeah. Other people. Yeah. Yeah. Not honestly, because they just weren't attracted to like they couldn't bring like a third person in because they weren't, they didn't have the same attraction. and yeah, I mean, there's still together, like it. It it it's not like a crazy like, they're out every night or, like, it's just, like, once in a while or whatever. It's just. That's just what they do. Aaron I love your, I love your you. I don't know if you want to burn the if you think of it as burning material about how gay women meet and how straight and how gay men meet. Yeah, yeah, I this actually happened to me so many times where I was just like, I should probably just write this down. But no, I just say, like, straight people, you know, they meet in, like, really boring ways. Like when you ask me how they meet, you know, it's like bar friends, you know, dating app. And the guy took forever to propose. And the woman's currently disappointed. Gay. Men. It's like when you ask gay men how they need they're like, well, you know, the night I met my husband, my dick was through a hole in the wall. And then my husband was on the other side of the wall. The the the thing that resonates the most for me is because I've been in the situation so many times. When you ask lesbians, like, how did you guys meet? I just say, like, put another light on the topic. So why not. If. You're going to be there for 2 to 3 weeks, I, I mean I love asking couples have. Yeah, but I forget like I gotta put a timer on it. Yeah. Because they just start chapters. Yeah. Yeah. Like a break. Yeah. And sometimes I get caught doing that because I just do like, like meet cute and then a couple minutes, then I go, my God, I've done this to myself again. yeah, yeah. Like they just it's in. Like, nicest people. On earth. Yeah, Yeah. But, like. It's uncanny. We, like, we saw each other, then we didn't see each other, and then we. Then we had coffee like. Basically from three relationships before this. I really did. Yeah. That's not like I was. I was at a dead end job at Bank of America. Friday. Yes. I was in a band called Shirley Tiger, which was fine. It was a hip hop band. It was fronted. By. I love. That title. I didn't know that I. Me, Tiger. Okay. Was D.J. Mama Cash. my God. She choked on money. how nice. But. And one of my friends, she's now married to this girl. But it was like, ah, and this is a hundred years ago, right? Yeah. But the first time they dated, of course, then there were different relationship between now and the other. The first 45 minutes of band practice was the text messages of them breaking up. I got out and then she said, my God, can we be? And so when they finally got married, fucking good know love each other. my God, it is. It is that. Yeah. my God. How they even got married? You don't get to that point. But you're right though, because like I call them the lowest people standing. Some of the hardest I've ever had was with these guys, and they've been married like 35 or 40 years. Yeah. And sometimes it was awful, like not at their house and sometimes it would be their house. And the daddies just be like, upstairs. It's like watching television. And sometimes they would both be and it would be on. But like, yeah, we had the dynamic worked out. But yeah, not like. Has that rule or but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I always wonder, has that ever been an issue? Like, I mean, I can't imagine that it would just always be understood. Like if, if a third person is in there, like is it ever like, you know, with another guy going Yeah. Just like, we're doing that tonight. We're, it's a movie night or whatever. It was really sexy. And I just looked at like, this is like years ago. Yeah. And, and they, we were all three in the room. One of them my husband left, went and got his hair cut. No. And came. Back. No, because we were so good. Yeah. my God. The clips and everything. And that's how you call it. Endurance. I call that boredom. God damn it. Go to Supercuts. I mean, I can't. I can't keep going on. I got to paint something. As a the like. Wow. Dynamic of, like, what was happening. Wow. So I'm going to assume in the afternoon the lights were on. In earth time. But there was there was all I'm telling you, they had it worked out. It was. Wow. The minute you started. Her hair haircut is the funniest. I really love that. It was so great. But yeah, that was one of those moments where I was like, okay, they like L.A is also very different. L.A. has progressive gay relationships. Yeah. In places in, like the midwest. Yeah, I'm just. I just love it. I just think, like, with. It from straight. OC, I just as someone with major A.D.D., I could think of a thousand things to do during the, you know, 80 minutes that we're having sex. Yeah. You're not even looking any more. He's just so sick of it. you guys, does that. Work, do you think. Like. You could leave and come back? No, the. The open. The open. Really. What do you think the percentages would. I'm really afraid of it. I don't, I don't think, think it's hard to focus on one person. Yeah. And that's me. Yeah. I can't, I can't finish masturbating. I don't know about you. I get tired. Bored. I think if I laugh, it. I'm going to go take myself for a walk. I don't know. Another broad break. It must be. you're right. You're right. You're right. It's true. I think it's different with. Straight couples because you can't always mix the right with gay, if that's the attraction, right? Yeah, man, man, man. Yeah. It's like this. Somewhere in there's an element, but it's like, do you have does a husband have to get his wife into a might be, like, less or harder to broach. Right? I don't even the right word. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, not bringing someone in may just be the case. I'm. I'm going to. I'm going to be back late tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, like, that would be hard for me to be like, I'm going to go get a burger. Like, where you are. You're like, I'll be right back. Well, Like, you know, if you had a relationship where you're, like, okay, you know, you can when you feel like it, you can have sex with this other person or whoever. like Sarah and I talked about it, you know, randomly, like back in the day. And I was like, okay, it's not like a dealbreaker for me, but like, I don't I don't want to know at all. I don't, you know. Yeah. And she's like, I need to know every detail. First of all, I have no intention. But yeah. And she's like, No, if you came to me and we talked about it or if you did something and then we talked about it, she's like, you know, you know, it's honest. It's like open. And we're talking it. And I think, my God, no. I can't. Because even though you want a booker. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, she's extremely, like, thoughtful. I mean, she's wonderful. So it's not like she, you know, I just think my, like, repressed Catholic. I would feel so like sitting down in front of this thing. Like, I know, I know. I know. You said it would be okay. But I Sally last. yeah? Yeah. Here's how it went down. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think Garrett and I, like, sometimes we watch an old movie, like an old seventies movie or something, and we'll both comment on woman's boobs. You guys need to really watch Cruel God. God damn. It. Maybe we should, I love all gay men because of a hand. You like an ashtray full of pills, right? Like, take a pound whole. What is it? And I just think she kept watching. What is. It? I need to go to these parties. I said if a pill rolled under the office door, I'd take it. I don't give a shit what it. Is. At work. Yeah. No, I always been too nervous. Really. With the pills. It's too easy. I love alcohol more than I can say. Wait a second. But you don't drink. But you don't drink any more, right? Or you do. I drink, but I have to drink less. I don't know why we haven't been hanging out more than you. One my very few friends that drinks anymore. One and done. But it like two men. Usually one. Mine used to be like if I could get six drinks then I'd be like, yeah, I'm ready to drink. Well I think the key is are you on antidepressants now? Okay, Because if you're not, if you're that's there. No, that's great. But if you're on antidepressants, I always say that that's like the the spoiler on the back of the car, like, it kind of works. Kind of doesn't work, you know, But it it makes everything go a little too fast, you know? So you're not supposed to. I want antidepressants, so I'm not supposed to drink, but I do. You know. You know, it's so annoying. I'm getting older. You go on. Yeah. You get so, like, you get more comfortable, you get more confidence, but at the same time, like, your body's, like, just a lot. Like, I just was like, if I felt this way and I had, like, this much, like, confidence and just kind of general excitement. In my twenties. Yeah. 30. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, it was probably a good thing. But now when I drink I'll have. Yeah, like I had a gin and tonic last night and then I have to take like at least half a gummy to go to sleep. yeah. And then I was like, well, I got to cut down on my caffeine. I'm like, Well, I just felt like this is a water buzz. it's one drink. Yeah, Yeah. Don't drink. Three cold brew. Yeah. I used to. I was giving shit because it was pandemic, but I would go running to grip it by run up and run down. I was, you know, shit like three times a week. I'm 41 now. 38, 39 then and I'm giving myself credit. Crap. Getting older. I like my knees and shit like that. And I totally zeroed out that it was pandemic and I was also dosing like 100 milligrams of weed when I would run. While you were running. You mean right before? Yeah. my God, I would go running. I was like, Well, that's why you were fucking high as shit and you couldn't feel your high water. Well, you can't. You have a lead. I think it just I think it's just like a slippery slope because I can. No, I, I have never been. I've been, I'm like terrible. When I spoke. With the gummy though, or. Whatever it is, I can't, like, be in public. I did it like 15 years ago. My, my friend was like, huge into, like weed smoking weed all the time. But I have to say in the house, not all the time. Yeah. Because I can't like, I would just be like, it's such a I can't take Erin Foley in public. Well, what about sativa or the kind of energy pot that. Nah. Okay, here's. Something called green crack. All right. Sounds good. Yeah. Like, very focused. The green. Crack? Yeah, It's a living act, but it's very, very tough. But how does it make you feel? Like I can, like, work on something. okay. Yeah, I've. I've actually. Worked on finding the remote for the. Book, that's all. my God. That's all I would say that. Well, that's how I love watching eighties. press your luck on YouTube. Yeah, it's. It's our. Damn. Price is right. all those. You're the barker beauties and how. yeah yeah. Where those like they're all in a bathing suit. Right. And it's hard and I. Mean the thing, I mean, just even imagining Bob Barker as a, you know, a straight, virile man, like, he'd. Just. I know, but, I mean, just even. I know, but I mean, I. I have all this shit. Well, you know, I just didn't. He doesn't seem like, like a pussy hound is what I guess I'm trying to say. Viagra, too. Yeah. Yeah. Weird how many will drink? Like, kind of Foley recipe. Was he? You know, I don't know. But there was an interview, and I. There was just something about him, this photo of him and his wife, an article. And it said that his wife said, I'm like Bob in that I love him like something like he loves him and I love him. Like, so he's probably like, you know, massive narcissist. Yeah, but. That's the gig, though. I want to host a game show and, like, never look back. How? Like, even when Pat Sajak said he was retiring my years or. You'd. Be great at it. You're so welcoming and funny and kind. Of Wheel of Fortune. I could kill on that game. Yeah. You would be a fun. Game show host, I think. Are you competitive as a person? I mean, obviously you have to have. Well, this is why I mean, for rehabbing my shoulder, for my. Pickleball for what you do. You threw a racket. No, no, no. I just. I mean, because that is lame. If you it's like. Throwing down a ping pong paddle and and breaking it. Right. No emotion of it. But you play regular. I did. I haven't played it of weeks as a well I just went a little crazy like my writing gig ended so it's like you're sitting a lot. Then I just was like, you know, go to the gym and lifting and pickleball. And I just went a little bit to, I can't do anything. Like, have you pulled out? What happened exactly that, you. Know, it's like, it's like pre have you ever heard of frozen shoulder? You know. I've heard of giving someone the cold shoulder. Yeah. Two years ago. Alison, your shoulder just freezes. shit. You're so you can't feel it. No, like motionless. Like you can't lift your. So anyway it's starting again. But I, I, I now I know what it is. I just know. It does is so doesn't. It just exercises and. It doesn't hurt when or does. Yeah, it hurts but like I had you know it's like you learn a new vocab term and then you're like a new word. I think that's well, I just said vocabulary. Yeah, Yeah. And then you just, like, hear it again and again. Yeah. Yeah. I get my my shoulder was messed up and I went to the doctors a couple of years ago and they go, You frozen shoulder. I was like, What. Are you talking about? Yeah. And then I was in a conversation because I was like, I can't play because I, I have this thing called Frozen Shoulder immediately. 15 women in my life were like, I have frozen. Ha. It was just like the, the craziest thing. So dinner at a restaurant that everyone around you that I have children. That really sounds good. I can't tell that you have to hear. Some of that is frozen shoulder now that I. Think usually mine was Bell's Palsy, which I never had. my God, that's so frightening. Just frightening. Right? You know what it was? My friend got it. And he was like, I was like, how did you get it? He's like a cold wind blew. I was like, Wow, it's a cold wind. And it's based on, Ah, my. God. You know, that was like the thing. I just have read this thing about about the the Kansas City. What? It was the Kansas City team. Yeah. fans were frostbitten and they got amputated. Wait, what? Yeah, the fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. Yeah. They got, they were so cold, they didn't realize that they had frostbite. They had to get their limbs amputated. Yeah. Was like the the conference final game Kansas City was playing, I don't know, maybe above maybe Buffalo, I can't remember. And, with the wind chill at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City. It was something like, you know, like -15 and everyone just, a thousand beers, right? And people had their shirts. my God. Doing crazy. Right? But it was. Awful. Yeah. So there's so many emergencies like that. Like they have to like they just cannot you cannot posted it. That's got to be a. Playoff game is like the hardest stadium to play in because of the fans are just crazy like in a good way but they're also like drunken it's -20. Yeah yeah. That. No. Yeah. They need to be inside a tent or something there. And it's like the NFL literally is like we have to look into this because this can't happen. But that's embarrassing though. Also, it's like, well, at least it was worth it. yeah. Well, at least you were. You were hiking on your own cheering. Like you just show up with no leg and you're like, what happened is. And the Chiefs had. The NFL, I won't get what it's, it's yeah I mean like their whole concussion like we'll look into it. they should be suing the stadium right. The worst I don't know. This is also have I talked about this before in the over in the they built the new stadium. It's not new anymore, but the new Texas. They were in Dallas with the Cowboys, you know, the eminent domain, all the houses in a neighborhood and gave everyone something like, like $900,000. And his wife and lady just didn't budge. And they couldn't break ground until they dealt with her and everything had been cleared and everything like that. And then that bitch got like 11 million. Who. Were there because it was the NFL. Yeah. And the Dallas Cowboys franchise is like they have money. They have? Yeah. Yeah. what's yours? I just do a nerdy fact about that. Yeah, I'm sorry, because I. I'm not from Texas and I'm from New York, so I hate the Dallas Cowboys. Sure. So just being the architect of that stadium on either ends behind the end zones. There's an open there's just like almost like an open square. I don't know how to describe it. but what they didn't realize is because of the sun at different parts of the game, you are now going down the field. wow. my God. Where like, you're literally almost taken out of the game. horrible. That just makes all the sense. Very Texan. Yeah, I, You're like. It was like the opening game. This is the first game ever played in that stadium was Giants Cowboys. And we never beat the Cowboys in the last couple of years, but it was Eli Manning, and we won. And and it was the first drive of the Cowboys. And they go into their new stadium and they go, Jesus is like, This is so fitting of. Jerry. Jones. And is that why to some the black men, they wear the black stuff under their eyes is that it's like, yeah. I mean, like designed a stadium where half the game you're blind. You know. Yeah they okay so I lived through the night where it was like Emmitt Smith and Troy Aikman. Yeah, but then our friend who was super rich, moved out. Her parents built a new house out in Hazel, and their neighbor was Troy. and that was the most famous thing I had never met. Yeah, the champ. His family was so famous. The one time we went there, it was like. I literally was, like, trying to. How is he? So, like, he looks like he's, like, ex-con. Hot. Yeah, he is handsome. He's like, ah, like, busted. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Like, and he's not that bright when I see him, like, commenting on things, but I don't know. But neither is the president. my God. Neither of them. But putting this cute old did nothing for me. Tony Romo. I got him, but I got a real soft spot for Tony Romo. Do you know who I like? And I've never seen a water polo player that is not smoke. my God. They're beautiful. Holy shit. God, it's just like rent an. Incredible. Physique and it's so attractive. I love that sport. You know what? Before, before. Before we convince Aaron to come to the other side, we have. We have to. I'm sorry, we have to wrap this up. And Aaron, I want to know. how do people find you for coaching and stand up and everything? Yeah, it's all on my website Erin K Foley dot com and you know if I'm doing stand up which I am doing a little bit, I'll post shows but and then the the whole there's a whole page for coaching that explains everything and I'll give you a little plug like have you been doing standup? No, years, five years or you're, you know, you've got a date on the books, Like I'm working with someone on their late night Netflix. Wow, that's great. It's fun for me to have like an array of different or if you've got, like, you know, a wedding speech and you're nervous, Yeah, hit me up and we'll make it. we can totally vote. Vouch for that, too. You'd be lucky to work with Erin for sure. She's so goddamn funny. On the social media because you post clips. yeah. It's an Instagram. Like a real master you always annihilate. And also you run a drug. I believe me, I'm drunk on stage. Well, that's where my brother is. So fine too. But even in that. What is it? US is at a show called Drunk on Stage. I didn't know that I was. I thought it was just kind of your birthday celebration thing. no. Bruce has been doing it for. Yeah, I knew where to go. Okay. Tuesdays at a bar in Silver Lake. It's such a great workout. it was really a great show. So you kill there all the time? Well, right back at YouTube, please. If you guys. If First of all, the pairing of you two is like a dream. I was like, Thank you, Sydney. Well, we're going to be together, the three of us, and Puerto Vallarta and TV. You will What? We're going to talk about work. Go back for and I'll even I'll even I'll even call Sarah about it and say, Look, get this done, okay? Yay!