What We Thought Would Happen
Stand-up comic and major player, Laura Kightlinger, talks to writers and performers on staying wealth-free and anonymous in the face of Hollywood celebrity, beard babies and untold millions.
What We Thought Would Happen
"Give me the strength..." with Jonathan Katz
We sit down with the legendary Jonathan Katz to discuss table tennis, Boston, This Heart is Closed for Alterations, David Mamet, Robin Williams, being a musician, living with M.S., "Raising Dad" with Bob Saget, Ronnie Shakes, Rita Rudner, Eve Arden Award for Broadcasting and the impact of Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist.
Website:
jonathankatz.com
WWTWH YouTube Channel
Laura Kightlinger
Twitter: @KingKightlinger
Insta: @laurakightlingerlives
Web: laurakightlinger.com
Daniel Webb
Twitter: @thedanielwebb
Insta: @the_danielwebb
Web: thedanielwebb.com
One of my favorite writers, all time favorite jokes, which I'll bring up, which when. When he's here. and, just a Boston legend. The brilliant Jonathan Katz is here is zooming with us. Jonathan, You know, do you know what my favorite joke is? That I quote you on Yes. The. you know the big question for pro-lifers is when does life begin? And for me, it's after my second cup of coffee. Jonathan Katz Perfect joke. perfect joke. it's so good. So good. it's so nice to have you on the show. You're live from Boston, Jason. Yeah. I just learned. I learned too much stuff. I just learned that you were a table tennis author at one point, you were the New York state champion. Yeah, but did you work on these these competitions? Do you open a little case that has a table tennis paddle in it? And. What was your style? What? How did. Okay. What did you just like? Did you grow up playing table tennis? I think badminton. And I just happened to be good at it because I long arms and. Getting out of the house is a good way to getting it. And any. Any sort of sport was a good way to get out of the house. God, no. You know, I've talked about this because I was pretty tall in, like, seventh grade, and I got taken out of class to, you know, to try intramurals, intramural basketball, you know, after high school, you know, after school. And I was so just clumsy that they said, you know, you're just tall. That's it. And my cousin was five foot two and she was great. She was like a an amazing center and and the girls basketball team. But if you drove cross country, you said to compete, is that what you were doing? And drove New York to L.A.? He didn't. He wasn't he wasn't his girlfriend at the time. No. Okay. That's good. That's lucky, isn't it? I mean, as long as you don't discuss politics and the money. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you said you stayed with. He. He just wanted there to be enough for everyone, including him. Girlfriend's son was there. Did you? Don't look like. That part of the trip wasn't. Yeah. Really? Wow. much And where's Bloomingdales now? Bankrupt, I think. maybe. But I think that just means they filed for bankruptcy and then don't have to pay the vendors that actually supplied their, like, purses. Well, you know, my dad was married and having an affair with my mother, and I think that's where the term wandering Jew comes from. Our dads. Though, I don't know, I. I don't know. I didn't I didn't think he was very attractive. Yeah, he was a tall blond, if you can imagine that. that seems I know you're from Boston. Boston. They grew up there. Where? Wow. What part? That's lucky. wow. wow. You were saying earlier, before we started recording, you remember the first I mean, when was that? Where was that? I think it was on Commonwealth Avenue, and maybe we were on our way to see justice. Two stitches And that's how you wanted my clothes. And so you c had to talk to me. Well, you know, I was. Yeah, I. I kind of. I still am. I think a pretty, you know, I guess, androgynous dresser. I mean, I try to. I don't know. I try to, like, get dressed up sometimes, but. But Jonathan and I think and I've talked about this on the podcast before, you know, when I first met Lenny Clarke, I had come out from New York, and I was just getting used to Boston accents, you know, And, you know, because I came from basically Buffalo, Erie, Pennsylvania, you know, western New York. And he said so much of it. And he's the know he goes, So, Laura, you're are you ready to. And I said, excuse me. And he said, Yeah, my whatever. And I was like, Wha. And then Kenny Rogers in said I believe with the gentleman is asking is are you a lesbian? And I was like, no. Because he goes, yeah, because I, you know, I never see with anybody, you know, I've never met. My favorite impression Laura does is a bigot in Boston. I think that's my favorite. thank you. This vulgar guy, I. You. It's just because he said we have the same body type doesn't mean you're masculine and feminine. I don't think so. What does it mean, Jonathan? okay. Well, okay, okay. That. That's 15 years ago. You. Yeah. I. Yeah. We've been doing this for a while. No. Yes, please. Yeah, I know. I was. He married a Jew bastard. You're one of the phenomenal comics that will actually bring other comics out into a room like so that they're not just talking about themselves outside and or their set or whatever, or, you know, or an audition. And I remember Jonathan Song, which was this Heart is closed for this closed. This heart is closed for alterations. And I didn't know it was a song that you had written with David Mamet, really? Wow. Wait a second. How did that happen? Is he singing? Is it stealing your song or is he singing your song? Wow. Balloons go up. there's something about first and she and she wanted. She wanted you to have your song on on the show. Wow. now. how did it feel to see someone like Robin Williams performing your music? wow. So the breaks in between songs got longer and longer. The songs got shorter and shorter. know, and then I a cabaret owners after that it wasn't the West Bank. It was. okay. Wow. What was the road like with him? An opening for him? Was it just the two of you out there together? Was there like management or anything with you? he was Incredible. Yeah, Did you stay in touch with Dan, through the years after that? Because he got such a phenomenal movie stardom, You know? Talk about that. And how did that go, Jonathan? I mean, how did the scene. How did you want to do it? I used to. I said that my my vagina walked out of that. That show. I just. A lot of the a lot of the saw, I don't know, just a lot of the material seemed below the belt to us. the material was really stretched. All I used. To, well I used to do a bit about that you know, the doctor says that I need to listen to my body and I didn't and that my vagina said, Where's Jim, What happened to Jim and why, why do we even bother? that's really good. I can relate to trying to be a musician and nobody liked it in the music. I mean, and the reason I love, I tried everything I was in. I played bass in a band. I play piano. So I tried that alone. And that was too like, dramatic and boring for people. And plus, George Winston already had that job. But you can sing, right? no, no, no. It sounds like it could, but I can write. I mean, there's there's a it hurts your feelings to be, like, good. It hurt my feelings. Like, I love doing this, but I'm like, no good at it. And then nobody really wants it. Like, it's it's just maybe for me. Did you have to pack it away? And, like, now I'm just a comedian or did it is like, do you still create music? Do you still write? Yeah. We'll bleep the first part. great. Now, that's how we're going to start it. How do you, like, compensate? Like, what do you do? well how do you, how do you, how do you transition from being a musician into comedy and then all like and now you're touring with Robin Williams at the height of his, like his first. Yeah. This was this was a And John, you have changed. You have transitioned, correct? You were. Julie, You were Julie. That's, So he was doing your material live Yeah, y just because you were what you're sweating. How would you be falling off the stool? well. How does it happen that you don't get a credit on that album? I thought you do get like a special thanks That means nothing as fucking special. Thanks. I hate those things. Well, I'm such an idiot. I'm just. I'm happy. I'm. It's an honor to be mentioned. I mean, just when I see that I always on an album or anything, or even on a movie or something, I think special. Thanks. Like, what. was the last time I don't. I didn't even sing it when it came out. Yeah, And you know something, Jonathan? I have a problem with that. Because of the, the the line. Do they even know it's Christmas after all? That's not that song. It isn't? Yeah. No. That's Jonathan. You know, I had a brain aneurysm three years ago, right? I really did. And I feel like the world. Laura, was that a joke about a brain aneurysm? No, I had a I almost died three years ago, and now I'm just slowly powering down, you know, like, I'm kind of running out of batteries. I need to be plugged in. Yeah, I really did. I really think it's hard to find words now, too. I can tell there's a difference, right? I mean, I should mention it because then I feel like I'm, you know, it's self-sabotage in a way, but. Yeah, Yeah, Garrett saved my life. So how do we get divorced now? I want to read a poem and see if you know who the author is. Is it okay? Yeah. Do you have 2 seconds? Jonathan, Go right back. What's the pretense for? Are you a poetry master or are you? I was going to say in his intro that he's a poet laureate and I forgot. Is that a secret or what are you reading? I can't wait to see what it is. You know, I wish you didn't hear it. Do you know what you know? No, there is no either. I would totally snitch and let you in on it. Yeah. Okay. Jonathan, this is. This is. Sorry, This is a really short sorry. Look at my hair, okay, Jonathan. This is a really short poem, and I want to know if you know who the author is. Okay, It's a little test. I haven't done it yet. Okay, Last year they scorched the valley of sun can. This year the Lee Hills and their horses go nosing out ashes in bone whites? No, nowhere and nowhere and nowhere to the hand. The latest dynasty. We've marched to man the walls. The Great wall stands, the beacons Burn the beacons burn The Tartars will not turn their horses heads of bone. It all began before our fathers and their fathers said. It all began before our fathers peace. A white and warhorse when he's on his knees from nowhere as the turkey buzzards sees the looping blue intestines of the dead and fasten them as garlands on the trees. Who is it? Jonathan? No, it. I just realized. Yeah, you're. Right. Yeah. He's a little bit pedestrian to say, like, things like intestines. Okay. It is looping intestines. Yeah, and we were talking about turkeys earlier. It's. It's Rob. It's Robert Lowell. think I'm an intelligent pseudo I would say much smarter than most, you. Laws. Just hanging out in this palace, reading poetry all day. Like, what is this? Like, you're so cute. In on a PowerPoint. I No, I'm just. I'm trying to. I'm trying to keep what is left of my brain alive, I guess. do you play these like wordplay. Okay, I should try that. Do you really noticed that your record for, like, word? Like your vocabulary? I think so. Well, I feel like something I was. I was saying to Garrett that I feel like it's on autocorrect, but it's the wrong words, you know, like sometimes when you autocorrect and like, you're looking for, you're looking for the word banana and then it comes up bandanna or something else. I feel like I'm coming out with the wrong words. It's not what I'm thinking. Yeah, I know who gives a shit. My name is Cole Stolt. I'm in a text thread where there's photos and other talent shows and all this shit being sent to me and stuff, so I can't even saving more. But every time I go, I love Cole or like I love you, call it autocorrect to coke. So beautiful Valley girl and I just like more Kyle picture. that's great. And it sounds like Caveman drive. I love that. It's great Coke. yeah. What a time. Yeah, that's. I guess that's one good thing about getting older, but. But Jonathan, are you on a, you know, medical marijuana or even street marijuana. jeez. In the same place. no one in Philly, not what you meant. yeah. So. well Jonathan So then did that, did that was, is that what you had to do to be on new drugs or. I mean, I mean, do you have to take a different, like, diet. Right. Right. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I good. Is it differently when your parents smoke? You don't want to. No, I never smoked. did you ever live in Los Angeles? Her, like, comedy and things? How were out here? I don't know. I spent the extra half a year there. I'm not sure I can explain that. talk about Bob Saget for a bit. People, and are disgusting. In what way? just his comedy I'm talking about, You know who's Well, between that his full house image and he was on America's Funniest Home Videos, the old. yeah. He hosted it. And the, the copy for that show was very, you know, ly innocent. My Friendly. Yeah. Was supposed to be kind of cheesy. Yeah. Both times you saw Bob Saget on television. He was this endearing sitcom Father or this Sunday night, you know, 6 p.m. 7 p.m.. Yeah. So he didn't his exposure, like for me as a TV watcher, was very wholesome. So to find out that he was. You know, it's kind of funny in a way. I mean, if he was doing standup and somebody and he was discovered, then somebody thought he'd be a great dad. and raising dead, he played. He played the father of two young girls, Brie Larson Right. really? in The Sopranos, he played he played Hesh. Right. Okay. Yeah. who are your comedy, like, heroes and stuff growing up, or were there or were they more musicians really? all time favorite it's. I think so, yeah. I feel like he must have been at stitches maybe once or twice. Ah, only New York. Okay, so maybe it was catch in New York. Okay. That's good. And his Yeah. And you knew him or he was someone you watched You know, I was a fan And so then you just fell in the street. Rita Rudner. yeah. I love Rita. I've never met her. I've always wanted to. She when she came through Austin, my friend Vanessa. You know Vanessa Gonzalez got to open. everybody was just enamored that Rita was even in town. This was just a few years ago. I love Rita. I work with her and Savannah, Georgia. what were you going to say? I'm sorry to cut you off, I thought that we should do the first ever Eve Arden award. An excellent, excellent excellence in broadcasting, I think would go to Jonathan Katz. Yeah, I agree with. That. Was TV work something your interest? What were you like looking for in comedy? Any any kind of job? I mean, it seems like you did like road work as well. I love I love that a lot. No, right? I do remember that. I remember that. Jonathan All that stuff. Fucking smart. That's great. when you hear the comebacks. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe you'd like to explain to your friends what you find I mean, that's fantastic. Jonathan, Do you remember? Do you remember, maybe you. Maybe you were in the audience, or maybe you were waiting to go on. Do you remember when Denis Leary was. There was a guy in a body cast in the audience, and this was at Stitches, and he kept shitting on this guy. He was in a body cast in a wheelchair and in a body cast. And he kept shitting on this guy, like saying, Maybe you should stop skiing. And everybody, you know, was laughing and maybe we should take skiing lessons and on and on and on and on. And then he said, okay, really? Okay, what happened? And he said, I have bone cancer. And then everybody everybody was just kind of, you know, the whole audience was like with Denis the whole time, like laughing a bit. And then Dennis said, hey, well, hey, let's hear it for this guy. So then everybody is clapping for cancer. Yeah. Yeah. you guys And you guys met in Boston, right? You know what? I think I was probably waiting in line at stitches. We all sat outside to get on the open mic. No, I don't think so. What is comedy for you these days? You're out there, you're on the East Coast mostly performing. How long have you been doing that? I didn't know that. That's the Everton connection. really? I mean, I think that that's why you get the first ever award for excellence in broadcasting. I What's happening? I'm not. I actually I was just looking it up because I've always been a huge fan of hers. I didn't know that our Miss Brooks was a radio show first. Before I didn't know that I thought, well, I thought it was a TV show. I don't. I listen to old Jack Benny Radio. You're going, nerds have like, put it up. I didn't know that every. Jack Benny radio show from like the thirties to the fifties and every episode of his TV show was on YouTube. Because Lucille I Love Lucy was a radio show called My Favorite Husband. I didn't know it. Wow. She it's the same writers, same everything. In the first season of I Love Lucy a lot of those scripts are just the the radio show. that they just visualized or made more visual. But ah, Miss Brooks was the same that was KBS, that was Desi Lu. all the same, because Gale Gordon, Lucille Ball wanted Gale Gordon to be Fred Mertz, but he was already obligated to, I think, missed Brooks Sure. That makes sense. Something like that. So he was. that would have been much more palatable to Vivian Vance, who did not want to be with such an old guy. But that would have been the wrong that would have been like perfect chemistry. he was he was to Laurel and Hardy. Our last meeting over there is. No, it isn't. It isn't. Why do you think that? I know. I know. It's always. Eve Arden. I know. Why is she always. Yeah. Or in our friendship? I don't know. But I think that Jonathan's a great to be the first recipient, because. Yeah, Barton and John the cat are swarthy. So are they. I you know, I've never seen Jonathan's wife. I'm not sure that she exists real. He keeps looking off. I know, I know. Okay. It's so suspenseful. Do you see the Coca-Cola? cool. I love it. You beautiful. How many kids do you have? Wait a second, Jonathan, Do you. Have you. You do you have two. You have two daughters. Both years. Hey. did you try to infuse your kids with any music or anything of your, like, creative pursuits? So you're doing a lot of Zoom shows. Is it like post-pandemic that you're doing that? And why are you mostly zoom? Do you not? Are you just over the right? How many times do we have to, like, bring it up for you to ask us to be on it? You're just not going to. You've got a certain level of comedian. I mean, Maron's podcast has been on for 12 years. No, I guess we're not going to get asked our way. Yeah, sort of. Where you. At? Think? I think that's the kind of friendship you can have with Marc Maron is a sort of friendship. he was on Dr. Katz. Jonathan of that. Show, that's a huge I think. Yeah, people were really influenced by that and it was on my access to what I believe was comedy, the nineties and stuff, but it got a lot of airplay and it was does that show, was that fun to work on? Was that something you ever thought you'd be working on as an animation thing? yeah, he's great. He is truly hilarious. The whole thing about that show is you had like a special for the month, you know what I mean? Like, you always had like, a guest or a famous comedian. You discovered his voice, Actually, he you know, the current episode of Hey, We're Back is wow. Laura Silverman as my co-host. And she makes a startling But something you don't want to hear out of context, There were just a few shows like that in that time because it was you had critic, you had The Simpsons, obviously, but there wasn't like adult animation even on Cartoon Network or like Cable television that had adult concepts, adult characters, human ish. Right. But I felt like that you guys like, stood alone yeah. It would be fun to have those two characters together. Yeah, talk about working on that show, What was that like? Wow. Really? about himself. tell you the guy who felt better about himself was Bob Balaban. do you remember? And I didn't even realize how insulting it was. I'm one of the. I've done two episodes, I think of Dr. Katz and remember and you picked me up in the car, and you remember what I said that you said was so insulting. I got into the car and I said, I bet. the. I'm so glad you have dogs, too. And you said, We don't have dogs. And I said, because they smell like dogs in your car. Do you remember really? That's so great. It was a very relevant thing. Have you ever have you ever talked about Bring it back? Well, one thing. You know. What? Once we get that you've heard a word in your Jonathan. Jonathan, can you you should find out if you can get the rights. You know why I got the rights to my show? It was called the Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman. And they didn't get thing. They didn't re-air it. And so I just called. Finally, I called Ed Carroll, who was just this, you know, wonderful guy who was producer. And I think he was actually running the network. He was running IFC at that point. It was a program or whatever. And I had his number and I just called and I used the fact that I'd had a brain aneurysm. So, you know, you could say that, you know, you've got M.S. and can you have the rights to your show? Yeah, the sympathy, the sympathy angle. He had bone cancer. yeah. Yeah. Use that. Use that, use that. Yeah, That sounds really serious. I will. Fantastic. Jonathan, we love you. And. shit. Yeah. Let's hang out. We would love to. I if I can speak for you. Yes, yes, any time. I would love to. And I'm going to start listening to it. I right before we do it. That's what everybody does. Nobody gives a shit. Nobody gives a shit about podcasts. They listen to that. If they're going to be guest, they listen the day before, right? Jonathan And then they can learn how and then they say, I love your podcast. I know that trick. okay. Which is one. I said. Yeah, does it? I have to say, Gert does an amazing job, doesn't he? Like, he keeps it moving, keeps it. Yeah. Except at one I have to put more. Know what, what, what is it, what was Garret. What did he do wrong. See. I know he makes people do that. It's, it's, it's a power thing, Well, he's very powerful. He's got a. That's also how we get ten more minutes. Of Garrett's package. I'm been one thing out to you, Yes. You're. You son of a bitch. Thank you for remembering. Thank you. Put him on the glass. Put him on the glasses. My other is my other pseudonym. Okay. I love you. Thanks, David. Thank you so much. I know. Thank you. What? Thanks. yeah, Yeah. Now we've got to see Jon's crotch. I. Can we get away from this? This is a this is a package contest. That was a great.